Indifferent

I never celebrated new year with friends before. It seems like I have to celebrate it again on my own since my health is not going to allow me to have an enjoyable moment. Let's just say with the cough, runny nose and sore throat I am having now, the picture of me ushering the new year doesn't fit at all.

I feel numb today. From the head to toe I feel numb. It is almost like spider webs are wrapping around my body. My condition is better than yesterday though. Yesterday I spent most of my time on the bed. Well, thanks to William for driving me to SS2, Anna and Alan for accompanying along. It's really great to have friend that can go through with me the thick and thin of life.

I skipped one of my class yesterday and it was Etika Perguruan because I was feeling really really cold. I even bathed under the sun on my way back with Alan to get more warmth.

Yesterday class begun with an awful comment from Dr. Juliana. She was saying this was the worst TESLian batch. She said that she was afraid that some of us might not graduate on time, some of us might find ourselves drowning deeper in the ocean, etc etc. Most of my friends felt disheartened with those comments but nevertheless I felt quite indifferent. Maybe my sickness has gotten to my brain.

It was not that different in today's proficiency class. Puan Nina said when she was marking on our essays, she just couldn't believe those were the essays written by her bunch of TESL students. Arul was feeling quite disappointed and she asked me are we that bad... Sadly to say, most of us are that bad. I am kinda in between though- not that good, not that bad either. I still feel indifferent. Maybe because of the medicines that make me numb. I feel I was walking on the air...feel light.

When I regain back my health, I would buck up...really really buck up. I need to get into the Dean's List.

An Unusual Conversation

"I will wanna share my life with you for eternity."

Okay, push that thought for a little while. I will be glad if somebody is willing enough to share or trade his health for a few days. Let's just share one organ with me, will you? I will put you under G.A. and you exchange your nose with me. For some reasons, I am just sick of having running nose. I promise I will clean the mucous first before I stuck my nose on your face.


"I will be with you till death do us apart."

Sickness, I know I am the perfect one for you. But, love is a two-way street and I just want you to know that you're not my cup of virus, bacteria, whatever bad ass you are. Though they say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai' (girls do not love guys that aren't bad), you're just not man enough for me because you can't protect me but make me sick.


"I will love you forever."

You're cheating on me because you courted my roommate as well. She's having running nose too. And for that reason, I have a good cause to break up with you. You're a two, three, uncountable timing monster!


"It's your Christmas present."

Christmas is over, dear. I bought myself rolls of toilet paper and I will blow you out, blow you away and you're tossed!!!


"You make my world goes round."

The Earth is always spinning. I am breaking up with you, just stop bothering me okay?


"Fine, no one is indispensable of anyone! I am moving on to deflower another body!"

Oh please, as if the nose is a virgin...

Blogger's Block

I have this disease called Blogger's Block. I don't have the ideas on the stuffs to write. I can write but I wanna blog bout something that matters- an article which is good.

Cruel Bitch

Oopss, I am back to Kuantan again! With my money running low, I can just loaf around in college, waiting my mom to pick me up to Ipoh but nah... I worried about her. Let's just say I worried she might be too tired to drive, I worried that she is lost somewhere in KL, etc etc.

So, yesterday morning, I was packing real fast and then I headed off to Pudu. Roads was congested with cars and unluckily for me, I reached Pudu at 9.10 am, which means I have to buy the 10.30 am bus. It was fine for me so I just find a place to sit and waited for my bus for one hour plus. Yeah again, this is not the main point here...

The main point here is that, while I was patiently waiting for my bus, came a guy who was asking me to donate. While he was opening his file for me to see all the pictures of unlucky kids, I said no to him. I said that I won't donate and his eyes... Y'all really have to see his eyes. It had the intensity there saying I am a cruel bitch!

I am not a stingy person. I have donated RM5 to that same guy who asked me to donate 6 months ago. After I donated, I was hoping for a thank you and what he told me was, "Y'all peninsular Malaysia people really do not have the heart to help those people in need, what can 5 bucks make a difference?"

My 5 bucks may not make a big difference but his attitude might have made a big difference. People would feel stupid to donate because their help are not appreciated. So, who will donate again?

I really wanted to help but his attitude just pissed me off.

My State Of Mind

Sometimes when I am given too much time to be alone with myself, I tend to have multiple personality. Sometimes, I'll be really really childish and I'll tie my hair into two ponypails...I mean ponytails and I will start to jump here and there in my room as if I'm a kid again. At times, when I am alone, I tend to chat with another 2 people but the weird thing is that 2 people are me and myself. Call me a weirdo or psycho but I still like to chat with myself... However, it isn't always healthy to chat with myself. I tend to feel down when I am dominated by the EmoLichin.

So, those few days I was down...not seriously down but down. I was having too much time till I wasn't sure how to fill up those time. Those days, I usually sat on my bed and set my eyes on the window cuz I wasn't sure what to do next. I ended up cleaning my whole wardrobe, clearing those things under the bed, wiped the windows...I even wiped my roommate's window, wiped the fan, swept the floor and I even did what I dreaded the most which was mopping the floor.

Today, out of the blue, I feel really really happy. That's the main point. I am grinning from ear to ear and I myself not sure why. I skipped my lunch because the queue at the clinic was really really long and yet I am on cloud nine. Maybe because the dermatologist (Dr. Chin) told me my skin condition is getting better. Or maybe because I bought a new blouse today. Yes, i am running low on money and guess what...I am wasting money on that blouse.

I have no idea why I feel so happy and bright today instead of dark and twisted. I even took the long way back to college. The bus stopped me at MC and I walked back. It was sunny but then the way the sun shone on my skin and the December breeze stroking my hair made me feels light like a bird's feather.

I am thankful for some of the little things in life that are free...
1) I am glad that I have a bunch of close friends that are always there for me.
2) I am happy that it's always summer in Malaysia.
3) I feel comfortable in the place I am staying. It's beautiful shades the moment you set your feet outside. It gives you the chance to exercise when you climb uphill and go downhill towards campus.
4) I am contented that I have a loving and supportive family. Papa, no matter how far you are, I believe you always see me from afar, taking good care of me. I love you:)
5) There are so many beautiful things in life if you can just open up yourself to see how beautiful the world is...and sometimes, you too have the power to beautify the world. I say, when you see someone that is unfortunate than you, help them paint their lives :) YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!

So Much Time...

I am a confused soul. When I am busy, I'll be hoping for more time for myself and when I have all the time that I want, I'll be hoping to be busy.

People say that I think too much and I think they view me as a negative person more than how negatively I view myself. The thing with me is that sometimes I can be quite a serene thing to look at but sometimes I am a wreck. So, I am kinda in between. If you do the Math, (serene + wreck) / 2, I am equivalent to neutral. By mean of Chemistry, I am neutral which is good cuz I don't react with acid nor alkaline...which makes me stable...see, I AM STABLE!!!

With all the waking hours I have, I have done 3 personality tests...The 1st one is the Draw A Pig test which is quite cute :)

I think my pig is way too cute!!!

So the result that I have uploaded is kinda blurred. The pig which is at the middle to the page means I am a realist. See, I've been telling y'all I am not a negative person. I am a realist, I think of both positive and negative stuffs. The pig which I drew is facing front. This makes me a direct person. I am neither fear nor do I avoid discussion which is GOOD!!! I think the pig that I have drawn has many detail cuz it has all the part of a pig and means I am analytical, cautious and distrustful. Very true!!! I am insecure an I am going through a period of major change cuz the pig has only 2 legs. It has medium sized ears which makes me a good listener. Y'all can tell me ur problems cuz it says here that I listen :) Unfortunately, I drew a short tail...so I don't have good sex life...which is good now cuz I amm not looking forward to it YET.

I am bad in uploading things...again this is blur...This test is about the animals you will sacrifice to survive ina desert. At 1st I sacrifice the Lion then the Monkey. Later, I sacrifice da Sheep, the Cow and finally I keep the horse. So I sacrifice my pride 1st, then my children which is not good...which parents will sacrifice their child? i sacrifice my friendship, basic needs but I still keep my passion...ADUHAI!!!

I will re-edit this later...Right now I will do my resume 1st...for my job. i need money!

Moodiness

Yesterday was indeed not my day. The bus that I had boarded was one hour late. I just couldn't put my bag on the floor because it was a Hush Puppies bag and ended up my arms didn't really feel like my own arms. It was somebody else's arm, somebody who was older than me.

It didn't bother me quite yet waiting for one whole hour for the bus. What made me pissed of was breathing in the contaminated air when the driver smoked in the bus. My lungs were pumped in with chemicals that might cause me to have lung cancer. It was yesterday night, after chatting with Anna and Alan that I noticed that I had 3 new pimples growing on my cheek.

So, when I reached Pudu, like always I boarded Metro 12 to go back to college. Oh my, as if my day wasn't bad enough. I listened to a man scolding his wife all the way till the bus dropped me off at the bus stop opposite KFC. He was scolding his wife for giving too much money for the girl to spend instread of giving her money to pay for rental. Damn, as much as we love money, money too are causing hell lots of problems.

Nevertheless, when I reached college, that man gave me the key to my own room, not any other rooms but my own room. Nice! So I can start to clean up and tidy up my room now for my new semester.

But then again, this moody monster started to grip me again. I don't know why. This always occurs to me whenever I have too much time but nothing to spend my time on. I started to feel regret coming back for FESENI. Only 3 fellars are here. Dang! Caught up with my own mood swings, my attitude wasn't that good towards Anna and Alan. It's unfortunate for y'all having this kinda friend whose mood is like da weather. Sorry...

Omg, did I mention that I am sick? Right now the mucus is going to come out from my nose. I will re-edit this post later. Damn...must be that fellar's perfume!

I've re-editted...

Missing home already

It's 1am now. I going to go back to KL soon but I haven't even have the drive to pack my things. I don't wana go back. I wana stay right here with my family and Prosperous.

I don't wana go back...

Don't wana go back...

Don't want...

Can I?

Pls..

:(

Ah, life!!!

Sometimes I really look forward to a gathering with my former schoolmates. I will dress up nicely, paint my nails, blow my hair, etc etc just to show my friends how much I have changed.

Quite recently, I have been wondering, do I really have to look changed? Is it significant? Does the higher you climb, the more fashionable you are, the less cloth that is there to cover your petite body and the way you present yourself makes you a complete different human being? Why do we always have to compare and compete? Is that all that we see with our naked eyes? Shouldn't we delve deeper into something less materialistic? Shouldn't we see and appreciate the things around us rather than just fulfilling our own ego?

Out of the blue, I decided to be rather different than how I really was. I dress up myself simply, casually but still presentable and I decided to view things differently. I listened to my friends' conversation. They were talking about A decided not to let go of B because he is quite successful now. I was thinking, is it up to us to decide whether we are able to preserve a relationship? To me, love is simply unpredictable. You can't decide how and when you are going to begin a relationship, the challenges you are going to go through and how a relationship might end. It's out of reach...not the type of things that we can control.

Afterthat, a friend blurted out about C's ex. I thought C has finally moved on till I see the changes in her mood. They said it's hard for her to forget because they have been together for so long. But how could we measure feelings with time? Are feelings plainly addiction? The more time you spend together, the more addicted you can be? Is it? I don't think so.

Ah, life!!!

Post-heartbreak

You expect it's going to be happily happily ever after. You think it's okay for you to quarrel or to have misunderstanding once in a while. Afterthat, you give in and say you are sorry. Then, you receive a reply and chat for awhile (good sign) but you can feel the coldness in him (bad sign!). You persuade yourself to give a little time for everything to be warmth and loving like before. Unfortunately, your messages go unreplied for days. You think there must be something wrong with your phone. Later, you see it coming...

You are chucked! At first, you will feel in disbelief. You feel kind of relieved because everything has finally cleared. You no longer need to cloud your mind thinking about him, you no longer need to stare at your phone to wait for anyone's call or messages. However, reality sets in and that makes you think of him so much. You replay and replay back the happy moments both of you have shared, then you think of the way he gives up so easily, you feel cheated, heart-broken and angry at the same time. It's wonderful how humans are able to cope with so much of emotions at the same time. The heart really has a great capasity to store stuffs. Sometimes, it's beyond what we think we can endure.

Later, you feel indifferent towards everything in life. You don't give a damn about your house chores that have mounted up, you don't groom yourself because you don't feel the need to show your best to anyone. You just wanna sleep through the whole year so you can forget about someone that has meant so much to you. There's a void in your heart that takes more than many bars of chocolate to fill up the hole to make you a functional human being again. Yes, your friends are important but sometimes when you spill out everything to them, you make yourself look foolish, you also think you make them bored.

That's when you stop talking about how you feel to your friends. You go through a period of self-analysis. You accept the truth, the reality that the relationship is dead and no matter how many times you think about him, it is not going to make any difference but it's only going to torture your soul. That's when you move on.

At last you get a grip on you life. You stop thinking about him that much. It's the time when you stop thinking about him the moment you got up from bed and the moment when you crash on your bed and sleep. You are starting to groom yourself again and go out to have a happy time with friends. Happily, you are able to hold subjects other than him. You've moved on and it's time to get crazy in Singleville!

It's a rocky road and a bumpy ride. Post-heartbreak is not easy to deal with but it's not impossible. It's the way you collect back the pisces of your heart that counts. So, why not just move on with a pride? Yeah, babeh!!!

Made Up My Mind

I woke up this morning and I felt lousy. I'm still feeling lousy now. There's this void in my heart that makes me not functioning well today. In fact, I feel down, I feel empty.

I've been back to Kuantan and be close to my family for 1 whole month. I think I'll be leaving for KL this coming Thursday for FESENI. I am missing them even though I haven't been away from them yet.

I'm worried about my sister. She's not going to take any tuition next year cuz all the tuition classes are in the afternoon and since my mom is working, no one will be able to fetch her to any of the tuition classes. I am able to teach her till this Wednesday and afterthat she will have to rely on herself. Hopefully she will be able to do well in her studies.

Though I am helping my mom doing some of the house chores, I just feel that is not totally enough. I just hope I can do more for her so that she won't be that tired. Pity her.

My bro...Needless to say, another lazy bum whose work is to play comp games for the whole day when I'm not there to nag him. Yeah, I'm a nagger. He's clever, but hopefully he doesn't take things for granted.

And my little Prosperous, I am going to miss her very much. I am going to miss the way she runs and jump on to me whenever I get down from the car. I am going to miss her barking, I am going to miss her smell and all her mischievous ways to complete our lives :)

So, I have made up my mind to go back. I'm going to buy the bus ticket tomorrow and head my way back to college. Think on the bright side Li Chin!!! At least I will have time to prepare for my new semester. Maybe it's good to loiter around the library and see what kinda books they have or maybe I can start to gather all the past year questions. I can spend my time in Pekan Buku and buy more and more paper and files to begin my new semester. I have plenty of time to be by myself...just waste it..who cares...

I don't want

I feel so reluctant to go back for FESENI. I don't wana make myself to stay in an unfamiliar room. I don't wanna sleep in a room with a junior. I don't wanna practice when everyone who's suppose to be there is not there.

Why do he have to ask me when I'm going back when everyone is not planning to go back? Am I the only one that is a bit more responsible than others? I don't wanna go back earlier!!! Please just confirm the time of practice and don't make me go back just to discuss the time of training. I've no time and I don't wana make time for that either.

I don't wanna go back and end up in boredom, staring at the four walls and see the four walls looking back at me. I don't want...!! Understand???

Home-made Glutinous Rice Ball

When I was a child, I don't get to get glutinous rice ball with fillings in it so I have always hoped and hoped that one day I will get to eat glutinous rice ball with fillings. Now, I get to eat it whenever I bring myself to SS2's night market and somehow I still prefer tang yuan without feelings. It's human nature. You will always desire for something that is short in your life. So today, my mother and I specially made some glutinous rice ball for my father and both of my grandpas.

My father loves tang yuan. Yeah loves, I'm not using the wrong tense cause he is always in our heart although he's in a land far far away, like a star in the night sky. Sometimes, it's regretable that I learn what is loss when I've lost someone really dear to my heart.

Like always, I will do something out of the ordinary. I made 2 smiling tang yuans with eyes. Mother was saying, "Why do you always have to do this kinda things? You're 21 but you're no different from what you're 6 years ago!!!"

For my father:
I was once like the glutinous rice flour. It is you who have put in endless effort and moulded me to be what I am today. You colour up my life and though you're far, I know you'll be always watching us. Both of the smiling tang yuan are specially for you. I'm so proud that you're my father :)

I Hate This Part by Pussycat Dolls

We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talked since we left, it's so overdue
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers

I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

Everyday, seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me?

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers

I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there's no more time for lies
'Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers

I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

That I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part

I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it, oh

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

Reflection:
Hate, this word has been in our mind since we were riding on our three wheeler. Growing up, this word has quite a profound meaning in our lives.

For instance, a little girl hates to go to the nursery because she hates places that offer her less attention, secondary school children hate to be in school because they find it rather boring, we hate to feel scared, uncertain and confused, we hate arguments, we hate trouble, we love it when we're in love, we hate it when we are out of love and when it comes to hate...there's just too much to say...

The title of this song, although it sounds negative, it is nevertheless a song worth for ur pair of ears to listen to and it is breath-taking enough for your eyes to see its music video.

Things to do

There are things that I need to do before I go back to KL.

Friday (12/12/08)
~Pack the things from our old house.
~Take out those old clothing.
~Change the bed sheet.
~Wipe all the windows.
~Walk Prosperous.

Saturday (13/12/08)
~Unpack the things taken back from our old house.
~Donate those old clothing.
~Walk Prosperous.

Sunday (14/12/08)
~Go to Gambang for prayers.
~Do some gardening.
~Mop the floor.

Well, not much to do. Hopefully all these will ease a little burden off my mom's shoulder.

A new coat for my nails this X'mas

Yesterday was indeed a productive day for me. I walked my little Prosperous, vacuumed 3 carpets, swept the whole house, washed the dishes and I washed my Hush Puppies bag too. As a reward for myself, I went to the face shop and bought myself a bottle of nail polish. Christmas is just around the corner, so this time I bought the nail polish with some bling bling in it.

This is the image of my right hand. I like it so much. When I look at my nails, it is like looking at a thousand of stars on my own finger nails :)

My Little Sister's Belated Birthday Present

My sister and I grew up fighting over some of the little things in life. When I was a teenager, she and I used to have our eraser wars most of the time in the evening when my parents were out working. Yeah, those were the days. Somehow, when I am away in KL for my tertiary education, our fights become less often.

This year on the 7th of November, I couldn't be back for her birthday cause I was having my Poetry II exam. Sometimes, buying present can be a headache. So, instead of thinking what I should buy for her, I asked her instead. "Ah Chin, I want Big Apple's donut," she replied.

Yesterday, while walking around in East Coast Mall, I bought my little sister her belated present- half dozen of doughnuts for her.

When I reached home, I purposely asked her to go to the back of the car so that she would see her present. It was a small gift but it made her really happy. Sometimes, some of the little things in life do make us happy than some of the big things we desire.

I don't know what is this doughnut's name. It's topped with white chocolate and strawberry flavour chocolate. So, let me name this with other name... erm..erm... I can only think of it as 'The Dandruff Choc'. Yikes!!!

This doughnut is the Hawaii duno what. Sorry, I'm not good in remembering names.

Mango flavour doughnut.

Green tea flavour doughnut.

Durian flavour doughnut...Ahhh, truly Malaysian :)

This is my favourite. Californian Almond doughnut.

Happy Belated Birthday, May May!!! You are always my little sister no matter how often we quarrel. I love you always :)

By the way Prosperous, Happy Belated Birthday to you too. Hopefully you'll have more bones to eat :)

3rd Semester Result

I'd been a high achiever since the day I was in standard 6. There's nothing wrong with my grammar. I put had instead of have because my result just got worse after my PMR. I got 4As out of 5As for UPSR, straight As for PMR, and afterthat I got 7As for my SPM. My result was just overwhelmingly disappointing for my STPM. CGPA 2.67...shameful.

Things got a bit better. I promised my father that if I got into university, I would put extra effort into my studies because it's a whole new chance for me to shine. No doubt, I spent most of my time studying when I was in my Semester 1 and that had granted me CGPA 3.55.

I got a bit lazier in my 2nd semester. Lost interest in a course I had taken and that was no other than my Listening and Speaking course. No matter how hard I tried, I am still not good enough for Mrs. YouTube. Predictably, I got a C for it. I also got a C for my Philosophy of Education because the class always drained of my energy. We were needed to sit in our own groups, running here and there in our class and I just didn't like to move a lot in my class cuz I am endowed with a heavy butt. So, in my 2nd semester, I got CGPA 3.38.

I was burning hot and cold for the third semester as y'all can see from my result. Nevertheless, I am happy that I got an A for my critical thinking and communication skills. Hopefully William will get an A- for this course so I'll be able to get someone to treat me for food. ( William, I'm not bluffing you, you can see it with ur own eyes :P Seeing is believing...hahaha ). I am so glad that I've not only passed my proficiency paper but I also got a B for it. This one is totally worth to celebrate :) ( Anna, Arul and Alan we celebrate when we get back to campus yeah!!! ).

Next year with 17 credit hours ahead, I need to be more hardworking. My grades really need polishing. Hopefully I'll be able to get more than 3.36 next semester. I target for 3.5 for my CGPA next semester. Next semester, you watch out cuz Li Chin is going to transform to a more nerdy version of Li Chin.

After Our Last Paper

Teaching Poetry was our last paper. It was chilly in DTC. I never thought I almost ended up experiencing the winter season in UM. From the left is Alan, Jessica Insulting, Mr. William Templer and Fish. I didn't know what they were talking about. I just came out from the toilet.

Mr. William Templer and I. Can y'all see the scar on his forehead? Pity him. He was mugged by someone on the way home. It's not really safe in PJ. I wonder who will be the next victim...

Me...not a good poser. In this picture, I am like a kindergarten kid singing a song and suddenly a dorky looking teacher comes over to my place and take a picture of me.

Alan couldn't bring himself to jump any higher cuz he gained weight that day. Girls are always lighter than boys at any time of the day :)

Alan still could not jump up after we had landed. He's weird! Why was he looking at the other end when the camera was in front of him.

Anna didn't wana jump with us. She is always the photographer. Anna, next time ur eager-looking students will be asking, "Hey, teacher...where are you?"

Universiti Malaya 2008...It's going to be 2009 soon. The passing of the year is just like a blibk of an eye. Next year, I'll be 22 on 22/2. So it's gonna be 22222 :P

Fish was alone on the other side. Pity her...She should have swum over our side... Izit correct the word swum? Swim, swam, swum rite?

Maggi Boy's Birthday

In some way, William a.k.a. Maggi Boy a.k.a. Liam Liam is quite a special person for quite a number of us. So, we had planned for approximately 1 week just to surprise him on his birthday. After all, it's his 21st birthday so it must be something worth remembering.

William and me in Jaya One. I sort of dated him so that we could carry out the surprise but nevertheless it was one good moment.

We went in to a Chinese Restaurant which I've forgotten its name but the manager there was a very very extremely friendly person. There's a reason behind why I am saying that. It's quite agreeable though...

At the basement carpark, Alan, Anna and Colis were giggling happily I think with the surprise we came out with the day before we planned to celebrate William's birthday. They were beautifying William's car.

After that, they went in to the restaurant with this cake. Unfortunately, William saw them first. But I think he was still surprise to see all of them there. Wow, the grapes were juicy!

Alan and Colis were in the process of ordering. Anna the photographer cuz I couldn't find any picture of her in the restaurant.

This is William. Quite happy to see his car, I guess. Gotta be cuz of the way he smiled.

This is the back view of William's beautiful Naza Suria.

The side view of his car. It's not a permanent marker. If it is, we will get killed by William's parents.

We asked for Pak Cik Security's help to snap one picture for all of us. It was really a great night out. Thanks to us, Maggi Boy will be able to remember his 21st birthday celebration he had till he graduates. That night, we went back with William's beautiful car and everyone was staring. We had our good laughs and an enjoyable ride back to our residential colleges.

DIY Facial

It has been raining for the whole day in Kuantan and because outside is pouring heavily, I can't seem to bring myself anywhere. So, I just stay at home and took some SS pictures which I am quite well-known for.

The night was young, I bathed and I ended up doing DIY facial cuz I am really really poor this semester.

First step was exfoliating and I couldn't cold my handset to snap those pictures because my hand was soapy.

Second step was steaming the face.

Third step was putting on Biore Pore Pack on to my nose and to wait for 10 to 15 minutes. I ended up taking pictures of myself.

The fourth step was peeling it off and just see how dirty is it. I have always like to see that. I know it's disgusting but I still love seeing that. No wonder I was once a Bio student :P

Fifth step was washing my face then put on toner and some acne gel.

Afterthat, I went to bed and it was just 8.30pm! So I ended up blogging at this hour.

Looking back at my resolutions

A review of my 3rd semester's resolution. How much I've achieved and how much I've yet to achieve.

Li Chin’s Third Semester’s Resolutions

1. I will go for lecture even if I have notes available online or I have friends taking the notes down for me. The lectures will help me get a better understanding of the material which will eventually help me in my exam.
** Hmmm... Brilliant!!! I've not skipped a single lecture. The only class I'd skipped was Miss Charity's tutorial class cuz I was having stomach discomfort. Bad Arul was a follower cuz she was being lazy! What a lazy bum!!!**

2. I will take good notes so that I will have a presentable and complete notes to read before exams.
**If Li Chin ever going to take good notes then she's not Li Chin. She's born with bad hand-writing so how could she possibly jot down good notes. Nevertheless, my notes is a complete one**

3. I will study consistently. I will not cram my head with information the night before exam.
**I did study consistently at the beginning of the semester but I think I am better when I am studying in a group. But that means I study last minute before my exam also lar...**

4. I will budget my spending. I will not go shopping every weekend and that will minus the feeling of regret after I bought something that I don’t really need. I will not shop just to get the guilt to drive me to study.
**I did budget my spending and noticed that I spent much on my medication which is a necessity.**

5. I will get involved around campus. I will join college activities as well as activities in university to widen my horizon.
**I joined both. I handled my dance troupe but it was nearly a disaster and handling them made me lose 2kg**

6. I will take advantage of the resources available around me to polish up my English. I will speak English when I’m in campus. I’ll blog at least 3 times in a week. I’ll read newspapers just to know what’s happening around me. I’ll continue reading CLEO and SVH.
## TESL friends : If by any chance you hear me speaking chinese, please give me a slap, pinch me, etc etc ##
**Successful! I'm speaking English most of the time. You can ask Arul, Anna or Alan if you don't bliv in me**

7. I will control my temper and never let emotions get the better of me.
** This temper thingy is still hard to control especially when I'm having mood swings and I can't tolerate stupid people.**

8. No matter how busy I am, I will make time for my family and friends.
**I think I should make more effort in this**

9. I will exercise every morning and every night to shed the extra kilos.
**Forget about that. I'm a lazy bum!**

10. I will clean my room once a week unless there’s something better to do.
**I clean my room once everyday.** :)

My grade : 5/10! I got a pass!!!

If Only

It's not strange to see my eyes well up with tears. When I am happy laughing or giggling with jokes, one can easily see me wiping off my tears. When I am sad, like few days ago, I cried and cried. So no matter I am happy or sad, you all still can see my tears and the only difference is whether I am like this :) or this :(. Yeah, that's the only difference you can see on the outside.

I don't know why I get so soft nowadays. It's actually like a marshmallow. During my secondary school days, I hid my feelings, wore a mask, put on a smile and I was able to cheat the whole world. However, I didn't have good friends like I am having now. Eventhough I've changed, I love what I am now :)

The movie 'If Only' which was recommended by Anna was really a warmth, loving, touching and heart-breaking movie. I actually cried during the last part of the movie. Like I said, I'm like a marshmallow nowadays. It shows me that although sometimes you're confuse over the way of loving someone when he or she means so much to you, you will just need to take a little time off from work or whatever and just be with the one you love. It's about spending some precious time together, appreciates one another and sacrifice. Eventually, love will show you the way because loving someone truly has never been easier.

Yeah, yeah, easier to say than to actually do it. Personally, if you love someone sincerely and truly, you'll never lose. That's what I think. Eventhough the relationship sours, be happy cause you've loved and be loved. It's the process that matters.

You know why? Muahahahah cuz I can't get a happy ending that's why I'm saying that. But seriously, if you are sincere towards your feelings, you'll never lose.

Tonight's Gathering again...

Remember that I said I got the rhythm back to my life? It wasn't the kind of rhythm I am wishing for. Know what am I saying? No? Nevermind, I don't have any clue what I am saying as well.

I have another gathering with my friends tonight but I just don't feel like going. Going out with them, listening them babbling about their life in varsity, their love lives, politics, share markets is enough to make myself looks shallow again.

Listening to them talking about their relationship, seeing them all lovey-dovey is enough to toss out my good mood. All I want is to hide in my own house cuz I really don't have the energy to celebrate about anything.

I've been posting on and on about how down I am lately, bear with me, will you? Yeah, bear with me. My life isn't as smooth as my name suppose to be.

Tonight's gathering, I don't know whether I should be there or not...

all good things

"All Good Things (Come To An End)" by Nelly Furtado

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.



I don't cry now. It has been kind of a relief to me. Maybe things have cleared and I do not have to wonder so much.

Sometimes, I am using my heart to see things more than I use my eyes. It's not always good to use your heart to see things because most likely you'll end up thinking too much things that will cloud your mind.

I just wonder, should I be more busy during this break, will it end up like this? Perhaps, like the song, good things will eventually come to an end. Or I am clueless about relationship.

I should not be sad because things do not work out the way I thought it should be. If it is meant to be then it is meant to be. Be happy because it once happened.

It takes two to work things out. Or maybe like most poets, they have tragic ending and I have become a poet lately so I will have a tragical life like them too. If that's the case, I should not write too many poems.

Things To Do Today

Ah...dang! Why did I sleep so damn early at 9pm last night? It's only 6am now!!!

What should I do today?
06:30 - 07:30 # Shower
07:30 - 08:00 # Send my bro to school
08:00 - 08:30 # Breakfast
08:30 - 09:15 # Send my mommy to office
09:15 - 10:00 # Grammar
10:00 - 11:00 # Watch tv
11:00 - 11:05 # Do appointment for a haircut
11:05 - 12:00 # Prepare the things 4 my sister to cook
12:00 - 12: 30 # Haircut
12:30 - 13:20 # Fetch my bro and mommy
13:20 - 14:00 # Lunch
14:00 - 16:00 # On-line
16:00 - 17:00 # Watch Grey's Anatomy
17:00 - 19:00 # Watch tv
19:00 - 20:00 # Help mommy with the cooking
20:00 - 20:30 # Dinner
20:30 - 10:00 # Grammar
10:00 - 12:00 # Watch tv
12:00 - 07:00 # Have a blissful sleep

Hands

Last two days, I was looking at my hand. It's not that I know palm reading or what. I was just looking at it because I was doing some deep thinking.

Ever wonder why do God created hands for us? Firstly, it may come in handy to hold your partners hand and to tell her you're going to be there for her, to protect her through the thick and thin of life and also to reassure her everything is going to be okay because love conquers all. Secondly, to hold your own hand and to tell yourself that everything is going to be okay because you always have yourself to rely on and you know from the start that you'll never abandoned yourself and you know you will rise above all that is making you down.

The long projections that come out from the palm of your hand:
The thumb : To show your partner how great he is.
The index finger : To count your blessings.
The middle finger : It takes two to have a good love life.
The fourth finger : Wear a ring and it shows you are loyal to your someone
The last finger : No matter how small you are, you're protected.

That's what I've been thinking for the past two days.

I held no regret over the things I've done because I know:
1. I had gone so low for a guy because he once meant the world to me.
2. I had gone crazy because I know how I felt about him and I didn't wanna lose him...

You all can't laugh at me...
Because I know I've tried my best to save it from falling apart. I have had courage to spill my feelings.

No matter what, I know Anna, Alan and Arul will be right there to hold me if I fall and because of that I feel I'm protected and that's all I need right now.

Yeah and Prosperous knew about it and I thank her for always accompanying me day and night. Prosperous, you're not my dog, you're my little sister. You're my family :)

Trying Out New Recipe

After fetching my brother to school, I went to the morning market to buy some stuffs to cook for lunch. Prosperous' fur cut took me about 2 hours but there was still 2 hours left before my mom come back for lunch.

I saw a new recipe of sotong with salted eggs in the newspaper the other day and I was determined to try it out this morning. Not bad, just a bit oily but mom said the taste was good. I think mom was complimenting me because she wants me to cook more often.

This was the raw sea coconut I bought this morning. I crave for something sweet so I cooked or boiled or I don't know. I just put everything in.

My sea coconut, longan and dried dates. What a fruitful morning!!! Delicious?

Prosperous's Fur Cut

My sister and I were quite bored this morning. We saw our dog lazying outside the house, basking in the morning sunshine. Immediately, two of us came up with a mischievous idea that is to cut Prosperous' fur short. Aiya, she's a girl. She needs grooming also :)

We caught her and carry her in. Isn't she cute? She's going to be a lot more cuter than she already is. We, the unprofessional dog groomers are going to do a complete make-over for her. It's completely FOC!

Her fur. Can make a fur ball out of it. It's like a little hamster rite?

Can y'all see the uneven fur cut? It's our first time cutting fur for our dog. Nice?

Outta my mind

I never knew I would go so far for a guy.

I had never ever felt like this before.

The feelings are intense...

but...

I better get a grip on my life now...

Those 2 days I was really losing it.

I never knew I can be so crazy...

I better make myself busy rather than doing too much thinking that's bad for my mind..

I might need to see a psychologist if this isn't going to stop.

I'm getting myself together.