Friday, 25 December 2009

2010 Resolutions

Alrite!!! It's the festive season again. Merry Christmas everyone!!! How I hope I can feel the snow with the touch of my hands right now. No such luck. It's Malaysia. This place is either covered with the sun or the rain. Nevertheless, without the snow, the reindeer, elves, Santa on the street, we are still able to feel the joy of Christmas right? Cuz the merry thoughts, time with loved ones and other things that money can't buy are the basic ingredients of Christmas.

2009 is almost coming to its end. It's funny to me that 'year' actually has life-span. Well, it's funny how I put it to sound like. It's the time for me to review the things I have achieved, lost, gained thus far. To be frank, I actually lost quite a lot of money with me being such a spendthrift, gained quite a number of friends but not boyfriend :( and achieved those things I've never thought to achieve.

Last 2 days, I was so high on caffeine that I had such a hard time persuading myself to sleep. So, I ended up rummaging my books cabinet to look for the resolutions I wrote down during my years in high school. They are:
1) I will get straight As like what I got in my PMR.
2) I will get rid of my pimples and be more beautiful than xxxx xxx xxx.
3) I will not make my room messy.
so on and so forth until I reached an unrealistic one and burst out laughing.
10) I will walk like a model.
Gosh...what a killer!!!

I guess growing old makes us focus on the things that are significant to us. Somehow I realized the stuffs like walking like a model isn't going to take me anywhere far. I think I am hit by the quarter-life crisis, where all I am thinking now is how to nail that job, get the car, the Masters, the money. And yet, I know I should not be bogged down by all these. All that I am after is life full of laughter which means meeting up my own expectations and doing something great for others.

Li Chin's 2010 Resolutions
1) Write a superb thesis.
2) Buck up for my teaching practice.
3) Get better GPAs.
4) Speak like an English.
5) Get rid of my shyness.
6) Make more time for friends and family.
7) Save more money.
8) Better complexion.

I have noticed that I don't feel sheer happiness in my life in campus. I need more love and to get more love is by giving out all the love I can give. By that, I don't mean getting a boyfriend for myself. I mean having some time with family and friends, giving out to charity and helping those I am able to help. I don't want to live solely by achieving my goals cuz I'll just be another undergraduate raking up my grades, another dancer with the focus to get it right, another human being on the rat race. I need to stop, think and breathe. Hug my friends, feed the poor cuz love doesn't give only to those who are able to give but rejoices in giving to those who can't.


Thursday, 3 December 2009

The Future

Constrained by the four walls in my room, my mind wandered aimlessly beyond the darkness in my room. The immeasurable darkness stimulated me to think more in-depth about my future. Wondering about that always gives me a headache. I mean how am I to know what job would probably land on me right? That's why it's called the future. It's not called the FUTURE for nothing.

My mind loomed around aimlessly. A degree in bachelor of education set me to think what has the future installed for me aside from being a full-time educator? Journalism? That area sparked up some hopes for me since almost everyone seemed to agree that I'm brilliant in my writing. Sparked up, in past tense, cause the elective course is only offered in the first semester and for the first semester of my final year, I've to do my practical which means I don't really have a chance to prove myself that I'm a potential journalist. Thumbs down for moi. I have always wanted to write articles for CLEO. Guess now I have to put my dream to rest. Unless I am able to send in a few drafts to impress them that I'm all good for the job.

Or, I can be the 8TV's Quickie Host if they still have a vacancy after my graduation. I know I'm talented because I dance around openly with my bunch of crazy friends in my faculty. Talented, that's not the right word for it. It should be crazy and the best euphemism for this adjective is talented. Future employer won't hire people that put crazy on their resume. What am I thinking!!! I know I am good enough but still I with Krashen's affective filter hypothesis. Being with people who are on par with me or even better only make me nervous (affective filters are up) and thus affecting my performance. I'm a victim of my own fear. If only I learn how to channel this fear to something more productive. I can always threaten myself, "Li Chin, you're gonna look bad when everyone looks good...Do you even want that to happen?" And I have a bad threatening skill...

Or maybe I'll just be a teacher. Go to a school and teach. Give some tuition and get extra money. Do some charitable work by giving free tuition to those who need it. Afterall, that is what I have promised to my late father if I get to set my foot on any varsity.

##This post is not edited cuz it's my ranting...##