Thursday, 22 November 2007

The Candy In July

It takes one second to fall in love and it takes a lifetime to forget someone. I am positive that the statement is true to a certain extend.

It's not like we are afraid to move on because we are already used to the good old times. It's more like the emotional thing is getting the best of us. Or maybe love is playing a game on us or maybe on me.

I am determined to forget all about him, to bury the past deep under the ground and never dig it out again. To no avail i failed cuz things like the car plat number like 9686 makes me think of him. If there's a car with plat number 9696 and another car with plate number 8686, I'll tend to cut it out like the nuclease enzyme and glue it to become 9686. You might feel like I'm useless, that's alright because I feel the same too.

I used to wonder what he is doing and always question myself did he ever thought of me. I can use all my day to day dream about this guy. I'm a pisces so day dreaming is my thing.

I feel that he is not that significant to me anymore and that I can really forget him. This was how I felt this morning. I walked into my room this morning and saw by the corner there the candy he sent me some time in July. It's already more than a year now and it has ants all over it and I've to throw it away.

I always feel that the candy symbolizes something. By throwing it away means I am giving my life a fresh start and not to think of him again. I'm throwing my feelings away. And it all ends here.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

the past can never be erased

Year 2006 had passed in a blink of an eye. The chapters of our lives in 2007 is going to come to an end. When i look back on the yesteryears I feel like I've changed 180 degree. I'm not the Li Chin I used to be.

Year 2006 certainly was a struggling year. Looking back make me feel like I'm a stronger person. I have faced my broken relationship, I have face STPM and I have seen death happened in front of my own eyes. I seen the death of my father. I never thought that I can be so tough if those incidents never happened to me.

I managed to put all that behind me and turned on a new leaf. Year 2007 seem like a smooth sailing year for me. I got a place in one of the most prestigious university in Malaysia, met those bright people in my faculty, scored da highest mark in a literature paper and most of all found 3 new best friends. I'm contented, I'm happy. I can finally lead a new life in a new land :)

Somehow my old buddies in Kuantan are still asking me, "Hey, Li Chin, u still single?" and i know my answer will surprise them cuz to them I am just a play girl. There's a question that I've been burying in my heart for long. Did they take time to understand me and see my actions in my perspective? I wish they could.

I've a confession here. Yeah, it's true that I've been in and out of relationship but I'm not the kinda girl you all have been naming me years ago. I yearn for a relationship far beyond a good bye but who am i to blame if it doesn't last. Someone has actually planned a future with me but if it doesn't go accordingly then it's fated that way. I do hope I've the power to turn back time and change my destiny so the one i love will be always by my side.

I know that's impossible. Even if I am granted with the power, I hope I can bring my father back into my life. That will be far from perfect. It's even more perfect than to have a lover by my side.

What I've learnt is that I've to seize the moment and cherish everyone who's by my side and give them all the love in the world :)