Sunday, 30 May 2010

25 Stuffs To Accomplish Before Turning 25

We all have some untrodden paths in our lives. There's this great capabilities we haven't unearthed, the wild side of us that goes unexplored, and sometimes we all just sit there doing our work of routine, waiting for the good things to occur. Rather than sitting down here engulfed by all the never-ending work, complain that our days are bored and we're practically rotting everyday, why not just brace ourselves for a little tasks to do.

Here are the stuffs I wish to accomplish Before I Am 25:
1) Backpack with my friends to some country(ies) abroad.
2) Go to somewhere cooling on my own just to find myself.
3) Get drunk and talk nonsense.
4) Go clubbing.
5) Punch someone.
6) White water rafting.
7) A road trip with friends. Pack and go to wherever the road will take us with Chris Daughtry's songs as background music.
8) Take a midnight drive to any beach and stick there till it's dawn.
9) Write a short story and get it published in The Star.
10) Make up whenever I go out.
11) Take my family to Harbin or any beautiful place abroad.
12) Remember all the routes in Kuala Lumpur.
13) Read Moby Dick.
14) Do volunteering work at the old folks home, orphanage or those places where they keep unwanted dogs.
15) Learn to jazz dance.
16) Write a few songs and put it up on YouTube.
17) Have RM10k in my account.
18) Buy an expensive watch for myself.
19) Have a health insurance.
20) Be a very successful teacher and make a difference in everyone's life.
21) Read newspapers everyday.
22) Write a superb thesis.
23) Earn at least RM4k a month by the time I am 25.
24) Give my mom RM500 every month by the time I am 24.
25) Get a boyfriend that is worthwhile for all my attention.

I have learned that there are things that worth striving for and there are things that don't, there are friends that worth keeping and there are friends that we might as well make them slip away. We can't have perfection in our life. We might as well have a little fun along the way, brighten up someone's day and create a little happiness here and there.

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Sometimes It Is An End To A Journey

"So this is it huh? You're courting me because someone has asked you to take good care of me?" I heaved out those words from my heart. A sense of despair washed over me as he blurted out a yes. As I walked away from the quiet spot where we had our last talk, where I found the closure I had always wanted, I knew a chapter of my life has begun-- a new chapter without what-ifs and if-only, a chapter for me to collect back the pieces of my heart shattered from this stroke of incident.

That night was not an easy night. Veins in my head were pulsing, I was clenching and unclenching my jaw as I realized what a complete fool I had put myself into. I had wasted my whole semester waiting for a guy who was completely over me or a guy who had completely fooled me into thinking that he felt the same way that I did. I pushed aside my frustration and the penetrating pain when I saw him flirting with other girls and pretended as if it did not affect me because I had moved on, I put up a mask of happy face when someone questioned me about him because I did not want to care and my heart did not want to cry. I did not want to expose the naked truth behind this wounded soul and yet I knew I was dying inside.

As I stared out into the dark, fathomable sky, recollecting the moments the images of him corrupting my mind, it hit me hard that missing him was the deadliest poison in my mind. "Why should I deprive myself from happiness?" I questioned myself in the midst of the silent night.

As I waited for the breaking dawn, I consoled myself that I knew what I had signed up from the start. I gave what I had to give and if it was not enough then it was a goodbye. This is life and breaking heart will survive. I will never know what I am capable to achieve if I stay on forever like this on the same familiar ground. There is a maxim that rings loud "There are moments in life that make you and set the course of who you're going to be. Sometimes they're little subtle moments, sometimes they're big moments that you never saw it coming. No one asks for that kind of change and it's what you do afterwards that counts." I turn over a new life and this chapter of my life is about finding back the things I have lost-- my pride, dignity and happiness afterall deep down, I knew I am meant for something greater.

**I am trying to be ambitious...penning down a few words so that I can write a novel one day**

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Pick-Up Lines

Boy, can you give me a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation cuz you just took my breath away.

You must be tired. You have been running through my mind every second, every hour, every single moment.

Are you the broom? You swept me off my feet in vroom.

I seem so off today. Can you turn me on?

While these pick-up lines might seem fun and original in their own way, the art of verbal flirting differs from culture to culture and society to society. Sometimes, when I have my creative juice flowing, I am able to come up with hundreds of this pick up lines but even if I am able to do that, with the geographical setting I am in, with the kind of shy reclusive personality I have, it doesn't ensure a successful courtship.

Evidence of the most creative pick-up lines in my head right now:
1) You're so bright, you must be my knight in shining armour. (If that guy is really intelligence and his knowledge is a turn on for you)
2) You're my alcohol. You got me so intoxicated right now.
3) You're like my teddy bear. Cute, warm and hairy in a way.
4) Was it the adrenaline or you making my heart beats faster?
5) You must be the sunshine, you bright up my day.

These pick up lines are effortless and I am able to come up with quite a few in 1 minute but to express it out is a big no-no because in the country I am living in, it is all about modesty and these lines only makes me look like a joker or an idiot. Nevertheless, I believe this verbal flirting works in sparking up the relationship.

This post serves as a channel to channel out my creative juice. Any resemblances to any posts are perfectly INTENTIONAL. And You may kiss the bride now.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Birthday and Family

Thomas Hardy, the poet in the Victorian era, the epitome of a very depressed individual, will be writing a poetry on how birthday is a day to mourn because it brings us closer to death if he is still alive and has the chance to write. Based on my last post, my readers will deem me as a very bi-polar person where I can feel extreme joy and extreme depressing moments. I am 23 on February 22, 2010 and I strongly feel that birthday is a day to celebrate because we grow old not by aging but by the experiences we had and because of that every passing year is just going to make me wiser.

Looking back in my teenage years, there were some things that I regretted doing. Although sometimes I wish there are things that people would tell me 8 years ago, it hit me that I'm just 23 and there's still time to reboot my life. I think birthday is the best time to reflect on how I have grown up and become matured overtime :)

The top 3 things I regretted doing:
1) The kiasu and kiasi-ism in me that warded of some of my friends.
2) Caring too much about the remarks of others.
3) Not loving enough and not knowing the ways to express love.

I think about things like this from time to time and I hope someone could provide me with a little wisdom so that I can do all the things right so that I don't live in regret. However, experience is the great teacher of life. It makes you to discover instead of making you follow everything that other sets for you.

This three years in university I have been wasting quite a lot of time obsessing grades and I wasted most of my holidays tackling my assignments. I hardly spend quality time with my family. I'll need time to improve on that because there's nothing like a family.

And Arul, Anna, Jess and Alan, you all are my family in UM, the second best cuz the best of the best I reserve that for my real family :)

##Writing skill seems to going down the drain... Sorry##

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Don't Even Stop By And Read This

They said you write better when you experienced something yourself because it will stay vividly in your mind. I had finally come to a point where I feel like mutilating myself. Life has taken a toll on me although it seems like yesterday I was writing down my resolutions aiming to do better this year. Like what Thomas Hardy felt, life's bleak. You can plan something but nature takes its course.

My post might reflect that I am quite pessimistic in nature. I can never understand why failure sometimes might be a greater gift than success. Austerity is never a way of life for me. I have expectations and I know my strengths and weaknesses and I certainly don't need someone to remind me of my weaknesses all over again. Please, I don't need to be knocked down twice. It's painful till the point that putting oneself in front of a speeding truck seemed less awful.

I feel so down and yet so angry today after my last lecture. Blood was boiling in me and I was practically steaming. Screw those people that say when you feel suicidal, talk to someone! When you talk to someone about stuffs that are bothering you, it only seems trivial to some of them unless they have expectations like you do.

My thoughts about self-mutilation and suicidal might be a destructive one but on the other extreme end of thoughts, great people have more destructive thoughts than others because of the expectations they have for themselves. And yet, having these thoughts do not mean they are no brainers that do not value life. It is just because they fear nothing, not even death but only failures.

My only question is, would you let someone with destructive thoughts to lead your kids? Like me, I'll be a teacher and the future of some younger generations are depended on my teaching. Would you want me to teach your child?