Saturday, 21 March 2009

Great Things To Do this Weekend.

1. Drink a cup of coffee and enjoy its richness of taste.

2. Dance around in the room with loud music and risk myself in getting a hole in my eardrum.

3. Pamper my hands and feet by exfoliating it with scrub. Soak it in hot water to open up the poor and then put essential oil on it.

4. Shape my eyebrow for my big day on Sunday.

5. Cut my nails and coat them with nail polish.

6. Walk around in college so as to relax my nerve after a long day.

7. A DIY facial for myself cuz it's getting oilier.

8. SSGG in the room with more cam-whoring.

9. Blog about the things I did in Sekinchan (that is if I got the time).

10. Read CLEO instead of The Country Wife, do quizzes in Facebook instead of the assignments I have.

Monday, 16 March 2009

My Suicidal Thought

Loneliness speaks in silent. Sometimes it mocks us despite of the packed lifestyle we have. Most of the time it prompts us to question the emptiness in our heart, it questions the meaning of the things we are doing. We can't build our own escape and so loneliness just eats us up. Loneliness is a space with no air, it makes you struggle to escape and sometimes you just thought of suicidal.

How many times have you question yourself what awaits you the next day or even the next hour? I just feel like walking towards the ocean with roaring waves. Walking towards it, feeling its danger, coming straight to the point so close that I might feel myself drowning. I want to feel the bubbles of air escaping from me till I almost have no more air in my lungs, so close that I might see the point I am leading the way of my life.

Why bother to go to the sea? The knife is always there to do the job. I can always slit my wrist, feel the droplets of my precious red blood oozing out from my body. I don't want to do that cuz a scar on my wrist it a symbol of defeat. I just want to feel the water drowning me and me coming out from the water as a symbol of renewal.

How many times have you done your assignments and in the mist of it you question what is this all about? It just tires you out. When you stop doing it, that's when loneliness creeps in. Why is loneliness so bothersome? How does loneliness arise despite of our hectic lifestyle?

I need a break. I need direction. Otherwise I am drowning in my own sea of assignments...

Friday, 13 March 2009

Rewarding Myself

Human beings, like other living organisms, will pursue a goal when they are given reward and this reward serves as reinforcement for a particular behaviour.
- B.F. Skinner -

Enduring 17 credit hours of class per week to some people might just be a piece of cake. Don't judge me, I'm not lazy and I don't skip class but attending every class is not something I anticipate. In other words, putting up with lecturers' mood swings, keeping up with sudden waves of assignments and many human behaviours are not something I want to fill my days with. So, most of the time, I will reward myself with a cup of coffee almost every day to keep me going class after class.

However, I'm a greedy person. I would never settle down just for a cup of coffee. I like to sleep in the afternoon, a siesta I would call it and I would never ever let myself sleep later than 12am unless of course I have something better to do than sleeping. That is rare but it happens like twice or thrice in a month just like mood swings. Siesta is essential part of my life.

Classes take up 4 and a half hours, walking back and forth from college is about 1 hour, eating breakfast, lunch, dinner take about 1 and a half hour, afternoon nap for 1 and a half hour, hitting the shower room twice for about 1 hour, dressing up for half an hour, sleep for 7 hours, entertain myself for about 2 hours, talking and crapping for almost every chance I can find and time for college activities...VOILA it's 24 hours!!! And I don't even have time for assignments during weekdays.

I really need to find a way or two to buck up. I should reward myself for accomplishing certain assignments so that I have the drive to do better for my next assignments. (ahhh, it's actually my new-found reason to spend money)

1) All the other assignments I've done
***** a pair of new sandals *****

2) Language Use assignment ( 24/3/09)
***** a bug-eyed spectacles *****

3) Etika Perguruan assignment ( 31/4/09 )
***** will figure out later *****

4) King Lear re-edit assignment ( 2/5/09 )
***** will also figure out later *****

5) Pengurusan Unit Beruniform on Keselamatan Dalam Rumah ( next next week )
***** yeah, figure out later *****

Ohh, buggy buggy, I want you so much!!!

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

My Birthday Celebration Part 2

Birthday, a celebration of life. But somehow, it marks that you're getting older and a step closer to get more wrinkles, pot bellies and saggy skin. However, having a bunch of friends just make your days worthwhile.

I'm 22 years old. I'd celebrated my birthday with my bunch of close TESLians friends in KFC which was situated outside just outside of our campus. Nice cake!!! Hopefully with each passing year, my life would be glowingly happy like the cake that was so yellow, so 'ong'!!!

Gui Chan's birthday fell on the next day, Feb 23. 2 beautiful girls were celebrating birthday together. Together we grow prettier, happier and more successful.

Fish almost gave me a birthday kiss that Sunday. Just kidding, we were just posing and because she's Fish, her mouth ought to be that way.

Gui Chan and I received our birthday present in a some sort Anna-made envelope but it was.....

...the best birthday gift ever!!! some of the things were actually imported from Labuan and in the next post I'll post about what's written on those hanging colourful papers.

We didn't cut the cake after the birthday song. We posed consecutively for 5 pictures. Pose 1 with the camera focussing on my big thighs and Gui Chan's smooth legs!!! ISH!!!

Pose 2, with me getting a punch from Jessica and Anna is shot by Alan. Arul is forever Arul...

This is slightly better where everyone was actually normal for seconds. Arul was being Arul again.

I didn't know why everyone's mouth was so abnormal that day except for Jessica. She's always with her smile. Must be us talking again and Jessica was just posing there smiling, showing how nice was her teeth.

I love this picture. Why? Everyone was so decent with their poses except for me :)

I smiled with my lips pursed but then I looked strange...

This was mad. They actually attacked the Birthday Girl!!!

Fish was all brave and evil that day. She actually tried to grip my jaws with the creamy hand of hers.

I tried so hard wanted to wipe the cream away and she held both of my hands with her hand!!!

She's still holding my hand so I just posed for another shot.

And then she took the piece of cake and just dirtied my jeans!!! What a wonderful birthday gift...

See...they actually held my hands like I was some kind of prisoner and the cake was my punishment.

And they suffocated me with the tissue!!! Arghhh!!! But it was indeed a great night at KFC.