The Future

Constrained by the four walls in my room, my mind wandered aimlessly beyond the darkness in my room. The immeasurable darkness stimulated me to think more in-depth about my future. Wondering about that always gives me a headache. I mean how am I to know what job would probably land on me right? That's why it's called the future. It's not called the FUTURE for nothing.

My mind loomed around aimlessly. A degree in bachelor of education set me to think what has the future installed for me aside from being a full-time educator? Journalism? That area sparked up some hopes for me since almost everyone seemed to agree that I'm brilliant in my writing. Sparked up, in past tense, cause the elective course is only offered in the first semester and for the first semester of my final year, I've to do my practical which means I don't really have a chance to prove myself that I'm a potential journalist. Thumbs down for moi. I have always wanted to write articles for CLEO. Guess now I have to put my dream to rest. Unless I am able to send in a few drafts to impress them that I'm all good for the job.

Or, I can be the 8TV's Quickie Host if they still have a vacancy after my graduation. I know I'm talented because I dance around openly with my bunch of crazy friends in my faculty. Talented, that's not the right word for it. It should be crazy and the best euphemism for this adjective is talented. Future employer won't hire people that put crazy on their resume. What am I thinking!!! I know I am good enough but still I with Krashen's affective filter hypothesis. Being with people who are on par with me or even better only make me nervous (affective filters are up) and thus affecting my performance. I'm a victim of my own fear. If only I learn how to channel this fear to something more productive. I can always threaten myself, "Li Chin, you're gonna look bad when everyone looks good...Do you even want that to happen?" And I have a bad threatening skill...

Or maybe I'll just be a teacher. Go to a school and teach. Give some tuition and get extra money. Do some charitable work by giving free tuition to those who need it. Afterall, that is what I have promised to my late father if I get to set my foot on any varsity.

##This post is not edited cuz it's my ranting...##