Li Chin's Angst

I feel an intense hatred towards myself and everything around me. I feel that my blood is boiling, temperature is rising and I can even burst all the capillaries in my body because of all this huge pressure inside that wants to be out. I am turning into a fiery monster. I can annihilate anyone that crosses my line.

I wanted to knock down someone's door, slash him, hear him scream with agonizing pain. I want to see the blood oozes out from his body. I want him to cry sorry. Then I will punch him over and over again. Punch him till my knuckles bleed, till my knuckles ache. I want to pull his hair and hurl him to bang against the wall so hard till it cracks his skull. Lastly, I will laugh a monstrous laugh, annihilate him. Burn him, watch him crisp to death!!!!!

At the same time, I hope there's alcohol in front of me. I want that bitter tasting liquid to soothe my throat, my desire to be what I am not. The desire to be crazy, out of my mind for a little while so that I can forget about the world and just have fun with my friends. Just hoo-haa for the night cuz it's Friday.

Then again, where's my friend? Why do I seem to have time and place for everyone? Why don't they have time for me?

A sudden realization that I've been too good to everyone. A sudden realization that my life is just like an empty space. A sudden realization that I've created a vortex that sucks me in and no one seems to be finding me because no matter how hard I cry, no matter how hard I shout, I seem to be million miles away. Or I'm totally in a different dimension.

Although I am stucked in my own vortex, I want to congratulate William because OCBC has accepted him for his Industrial Training. Congratulations...can u even hear me???...