Crossroad

I just learnt that I'm not good in being a rebel.

I don't know should I attend the Pesta Tanglung meeting or not.

I can forgive but I cannot forget.

Whenever I think of it, I feel so down, so sad, so dissapointed.

But I don't think I can be irresponsible.

Muakssss...my doggy!!!

I miss my little smelly baby so much!!!

I miss your cuddle...

I miss you being my pillow...

I miss your smelly breath and saliva...

I miss everything about you...

If only you could read this :( :(

Laziness

I love being lazy. I mean who don't love being lazy? Laziness is just part and parcel of our lives.

Since I was a kid, my parents complained a lot of me being so lazy. Back in the old days, I would soak my school shoes on Saturday night, watch cartoon till noon and after much scoldings from my mom, I would only wash my shoes. Most of the time, my papa would buy me a pair of new shoes when my shoes were still wet. Laziness is great :)

Laziness has become my good friend till now. On every weekend, I will go for a drink with friends and chit-chat with them till my eyes go tired. Then, the next day I will go shopping. Most of the time, I will go shopping alone because I love my own company. I need the guilt to drive me to do my assignments.

So, I am left with tonnes of things to do today.

Things to do:
1) Memorize my text for public speaking.
2) Check out the website for Reading in ESL classroom's assignment.
3) Do the assignment of course.
4) Do Mr. Templer's assignment.
5) Eat 'pao pao' with my 'children
6) Wash my clothing.
7) Hang my clothing.
8) Do some grooming.
9) Be rebellious... about what?? Read my mind yeah...

I haven't seen myself being a rebel... It's going to be so fun :)

Haiku

Stars in the night sky
Sparkling like little diamonds
Shine to perfection.


Blustery cold days
Like the seasons of nature
Come and go with time.


Standing in the dark
Across the room I see a
beautiful stranger.


Nature reveals us,
Sand held tightly in your hand
slips through your finger.


Loneliness lingers
In the midst of it I realize
sometimes stillness speaks.

Friends

Last few days were really chaotic. Messiness clouded my mind and it had taken the sanity out of me.

I love surprises because surprises spice up my mundane life. On Monday itself, I received a huge surprise from my friend. You see, she was suppose to be my partner for our traditional chinese dance for Minggu Mesra Pelajar but she bailed out on me and left me performing on the stage all by myself.

I know she is busy with all those stuffs in UM. I trusted her as a friend that's why I have been so accommodating with the time for our practice. I have faith in her that she won't bailed out on me because we've been performing so many times together. On Monday itself, the trust is broken. I am not mad at her for bailing out on me. I am just a bit dissapointed - okay, make that very dissapointed because as an assistant she left me fending the dancing troupe alone. I felt like I am a lone ranger.

So, in the midst of that messiness, I found out who are the friends who will stick with me when I am undergoing some 'emotional difficulties'. That fair-weather friend helps me to find my true friends. They are the most beautiful treasure in my life.

Arul thanks for being so supportive. Without you, I couldn't have seen my problems from a different angle. I rocked the stage the other night :)

Jia Rin thanks for being so helpful. At least you're there to help me with that modern dance stuff so that there's time for me to choreograph my chinese dance. I love you!!!

Alan I've dedicated the other post for you. I'm not going to thank you here. Muahahaha.

Mei Kei and Chia Bin thanks for inviting me to your room and spending time to do our ritual like last semester.

My dance troupe... Finding y'all to join our Tanglung dance is indeed difficult but y'all proved that y'all are worth all the difficulties!!! Love y'all too!!!

Those Pesta Tanglung committee members, thanks for being so great. There is one that pissed me off though. The one that told me, " Li Chin, you've to be a bit understanding. She's not coming for y'all practice because she's really busy handling her UM activities. I think her responsibilities are far more greater than you. "

Fine, if that's the case. Stop hoping I'll be there in the next meeting. Stop hoping I will meet the deadline cuz I am trying to be less responsible since all my hardwork have not been given any credit.

Fruitful Day

This whole week I was very down at the thought of being a lone ranger. Most of the time I was left alone settling things for our dance troupe, writing reports, choreographing, buying stuffs for the performance etc etc.

I'm lucky because I've a very reliable friend. He has the heart of reading my message eventhough when he received that message when he was still asleep. He came down 15 minutes later and accompanied me to Pasar Seni, Petaling Street and Times Square just to get things for my troupe.

Yesterday was indeed a very fruitful day. Thanks Alan.

And sorry I can't help you much with Bill Templer's assignment cuz I'm really tired yesterday.

Egoic Illusion?

I don't know why but this picture has a calming effect on me. Maybe the feeling of standing on top of the world makes me feel great.

I want to rise above mediocrity. I want something big to happen. Something that will make me take charge. Something to make me significant to others. Is this ego?

My mind is cluttered up with the things I need to worry, things I need to do and things to think about. Is this the price I have to pay if I want some changes in my life?

I'm losing my sleep. Lost in my thoughts. Losing myself ...

I'm Desperate!!!

I have a confession to make. Most of the time I will say I'm not desperate for a boyfriend but the fact is sometimes I do. I don't know exactly why I need a boyfriend but having one might make my days bearable. Now, do I sound manipulative? I need someone to reassure me that things will turn out to be okay. I need a shoulder to lean on especially now when the responsibility of Pesta Tanglung KK9's dance is on me.

I used to think that my life was just boring. My fear was that I will remain stuck in my own boredom doing little things. I wanted to rise above the little things and take charge of something bigger. So, the chance came knocking on my door now. I'm in charge of Pesta Tanglung KK9 dance troupe.

The bad news is I've only 1 or 2 juniors that are interested in joining dancing. Where's the rest?? I need more people to join dancing you know. I'm desperate. I don't need people with experience you know, I just need people who are willing to sacrifice their time for our little dance practice. Don't come and tell me that y'all have never dance before cuz I myself never tried modern dance or traditional chinese dance before I'm in KK9. Why not just give it a shot? You'll never know what's your hidden talent if you don't dare to rise above mediocrity.

I need 5 guys and 5 gals to join dancing. Help me out or else y'all will see I'm 10 years older than I suppose to be when Pesta Tanglung ends. Y'all might see a huge dark circle or eye bags too you know. Worst of all, y'all might see my pimples worsen or my head going bald. Please don't do that to me ya...

Boring Post

This semester has been really unfriendly to me - well, maybe to most of us. Sometimes, after a long break, my body just refuses to sleep early. I'm considered lucky if I am able to sleep at 12a.m. but most of the time I sleep after 2a.m. I know I shouldn't have complained about this cuz some night owls just get 3 hours sleep sometimes. I'm not an night owl okay...so stop telling me that y'all are okay with 3 hours sleep or less!

The problem is, my body feel really really tired but my brain is really really active at night. What a crap!!! So, I have nothing better to do than online. I onlined till 4a.m. then I woke up at 6.30a.m today.

30 minutes to go before breakfast and to catch the shuttle to campus. I was racing with time of course. When I went to toilet to shower, boy!!! I wore 1 pair of different slipper. What a joker. No wonder that auntie ( Master student I guess ) stared at me. Morning blues... what do you expect... at least I realized that soon enough before I stepped my feet to the campus.

The first class we had this morning was english proficiency. Couldn't keep up with the class cuz they talked about Mawi and Mawi's fiance ( or fiancee ... I duno... I dun care ). Maybe I should predict what they will most probably discuss in our next class. Afterall, class participation is really important. I am trying to be a bit noisy this semester.

Pn. Juliana's class was really exciting! She's telling us that we should be humans with personality - not a boring one though so that people will remember you. It's very very true. So, I better work up on my personality which I think is quite boring.

Then, the last class was Mr. Templer's class. Most of them said his class is boring but he's kinda cute I think. He's like the old man from the Disney character telling us story. Hahaha. Sue me if I kinda like to do his assignments.

I have like 2 assignments to do. 1 for Reading class and the other 1 for teaching poetry. Not to forget I will need to add and drop my course. I might as well sleep first and do my diamante and that monkey thingy later.

My posts have been quite boring without photos to upload. What to do if I have a defective card reader... Aiseh!!!

A blogger without photos in his post is like an artist without his brush ...

Bear with me lar or buy me a card reader anyone please :)

I'm broke

I've been working for one and a half month during my semester break. With the long working hours, I've earned RM1000. I'm the type who don't spend much but I'm forced to spend? Sounds weird rite? Welcome to my life!

I'm forced to spend because I can't carry all my things from Kuantan to my hostel - I'm forced to buy most of the things here. So, I bought my shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, pail, soap powder, hanger, milo, etc etc. Those things cost me around RM100 including transport. I give up buying hair mask, umbrella, lotion etc etc because I can't afford it.

Let's just admit that with the RM800 I've received from PTPTN, it can last to the maximum for 3 months if I spend my money wisely. Therefore, I've taken a big step that is to sacrifice all the things I don't really need - my hair mask, olive oil, umbrella and lotion. Let's just hope that I don't get darker and darker and end up with melanoma.

Staying in college doesn't help me to save much cuz I still need to take my lunch in my faculty. Too bad, humans do not have the ability to photosynthesize. . .

I'm broke. Might as well create a haiku about being broke...
A big spender
watching his money flew
his wallet bleed

We said goodbye, we fell apart because we didn't know we needed someone so badly

I had a very good friend during my high school years. We drifted apart though cuz I used to be this green eyed monster envying her. I'd gotten into a relationship because she was in a relationship. I studied and studied and had been keeping everything to myself because I wanted to be better than her academically. I thought I had excelled when I got a good result for my SPM. It had never ever crossed my mind that this intense jealousy I had for her killed our friendship. That's one of the things I regret most about growing up.

Quite recently, I've shifted to my new house. I invited a bunch of friends for a house-warming celebration and I noticed that she has changed. She's not as cheerful as before and with her every move, it reflected what I used to be back then.

I watch her from distant. She smiled and laughed like everyone but I know she's wrecking inside. The feelings she hides, I've known too well to see through her masquerade.

I hate to know how a relationship can change and wreck someone's life so significantly.

I hate to hear that years of relationship cannot be forgotten so easily. Please!!! Its not just the amount of time. It's the effort you've put in but still knowing the relationship is slipping away.

She's a great girl. It's his ex's loss if he doesn't know how to appreciate her.

Time is all she needed to move on.

Things to be brought back to KL

1) Lap top
2) my lap top charger of course
3) it reminds me of my handset charger too
4) my can't-live-without handphone
5) earphone
6) wallet
7) bus ticket
8) matric card!!!
9) bedsheet
10) clothes
11) pants
12) outfit
13) poetry book
14) asthma pump
15) cup
16) that reminds me about my fork n spoon!!!
17) small pillow
18) towels
19) pencil case
20) pendrive
21) slipper
22) face cleanser + toner + acne gel
23) toothpaste
24) comb
25) toothbrush

...i wonder if i've forgotten bout anything...