It's amazing when you get notice how the time flies. I got back from KL a month ago and today it's time for me to get back to KL. It makes me feel so empty and cold when I got to leave my own family for studies in some other place and that place is KL which is 2 and the half hours drive from Kuantan. I know it's near but the thought of leaving your own coccoon is overwhelming :(
It is just so different now. You see different people in university and when you get back to your hometown you see the changes in your former schoolmates. Things that we have shared are just about the life in university. You won't come across us chatting about the hotty, guys and relationships. Yeah, people change. I know.
I don't have any idea when I'm going to come back to Kuantan. Next semester will be draining most of my energy - 19 credit hours in a week...what do you expect? I shall earn my own pocket money. Finding a job and coping with the hectic schedule is a must. It's going to be tough next year. Hopefully, with the increasing pressure I'll be able to shed the extra pounds I've gained during my stay in my current residential college.
Just the thought of leaving everything that's familiar to me makes me feel so empty... Really empty and lonely.
Tuesday, 18 December 2007
Thursday, 22 November 2007
The Candy In July
It takes one second to fall in love and it takes a lifetime to forget someone. I am positive that the statement is true to a certain extend.
It's not like we are afraid to move on because we are already used to the good old times. It's more like the emotional thing is getting the best of us. Or maybe love is playing a game on us or maybe on me.
I am determined to forget all about him, to bury the past deep under the ground and never dig it out again. To no avail i failed cuz things like the car plat number like 9686 makes me think of him. If there's a car with plat number 9696 and another car with plate number 8686, I'll tend to cut it out like the nuclease enzyme and glue it to become 9686. You might feel like I'm useless, that's alright because I feel the same too.
I used to wonder what he is doing and always question myself did he ever thought of me. I can use all my day to day dream about this guy. I'm a pisces so day dreaming is my thing.
I feel that he is not that significant to me anymore and that I can really forget him. This was how I felt this morning. I walked into my room this morning and saw by the corner there the candy he sent me some time in July. It's already more than a year now and it has ants all over it and I've to throw it away.
I always feel that the candy symbolizes something. By throwing it away means I am giving my life a fresh start and not to think of him again. I'm throwing my feelings away. And it all ends here.
Sunday, 18 November 2007
the past can never be erased
Year 2006 had passed in a blink of an eye. The chapters of our lives in 2007 is going to come to an end. When i look back on the yesteryears I feel like I've changed 180 degree. I'm not the Li Chin I used to be.
Year 2006 certainly was a struggling year. Looking back make me feel like I'm a stronger person. I have faced my broken relationship, I have face STPM and I have seen death happened in front of my own eyes. I seen the death of my father. I never thought that I can be so tough if those incidents never happened to me.
I managed to put all that behind me and turned on a new leaf. Year 2007 seem like a smooth sailing year for me. I got a place in one of the most prestigious university in Malaysia, met those bright people in my faculty, scored da highest mark in a literature paper and most of all found 3 new best friends. I'm contented, I'm happy. I can finally lead a new life in a new land :)
Somehow my old buddies in Kuantan are still asking me, "Hey, Li Chin, u still single?" and i know my answer will surprise them cuz to them I am just a play girl. There's a question that I've been burying in my heart for long. Did they take time to understand me and see my actions in my perspective? I wish they could.
I've a confession here. Yeah, it's true that I've been in and out of relationship but I'm not the kinda girl you all have been naming me years ago. I yearn for a relationship far beyond a good bye but who am i to blame if it doesn't last. Someone has actually planned a future with me but if it doesn't go accordingly then it's fated that way. I do hope I've the power to turn back time and change my destiny so the one i love will be always by my side.
I know that's impossible. Even if I am granted with the power, I hope I can bring my father back into my life. That will be far from perfect. It's even more perfect than to have a lover by my side.
What I've learnt is that I've to seize the moment and cherish everyone who's by my side and give them all the love in the world :)
Year 2006 certainly was a struggling year. Looking back make me feel like I'm a stronger person. I have faced my broken relationship, I have face STPM and I have seen death happened in front of my own eyes. I seen the death of my father. I never thought that I can be so tough if those incidents never happened to me.
I managed to put all that behind me and turned on a new leaf. Year 2007 seem like a smooth sailing year for me. I got a place in one of the most prestigious university in Malaysia, met those bright people in my faculty, scored da highest mark in a literature paper and most of all found 3 new best friends. I'm contented, I'm happy. I can finally lead a new life in a new land :)
Somehow my old buddies in Kuantan are still asking me, "Hey, Li Chin, u still single?" and i know my answer will surprise them cuz to them I am just a play girl. There's a question that I've been burying in my heart for long. Did they take time to understand me and see my actions in my perspective? I wish they could.
I've a confession here. Yeah, it's true that I've been in and out of relationship but I'm not the kinda girl you all have been naming me years ago. I yearn for a relationship far beyond a good bye but who am i to blame if it doesn't last. Someone has actually planned a future with me but if it doesn't go accordingly then it's fated that way. I do hope I've the power to turn back time and change my destiny so the one i love will be always by my side.
I know that's impossible. Even if I am granted with the power, I hope I can bring my father back into my life. That will be far from perfect. It's even more perfect than to have a lover by my side.
What I've learnt is that I've to seize the moment and cherish everyone who's by my side and give them all the love in the world :)
Friday, 26 October 2007
The Determination Jab
It's one of those days I am missing him again. I already have injected myself with the determination jab to forget all about him but to no avail. Gosh, I'm being so useless, so futile. I'm hating every seconds of him cramping my head with the image of him.
Out of the blue, I logged in to Friendster to get a glimpse of him. My head screamed me to get outta there but my mind asked me to see the whole of his page and it hurts me. The best of it is that it ain't that hurt compared to the time i was in form 6. That's an improvement right?
What are you to do or feel when someone you still love and had been in a relationship with you told you that he can't stop missing is ex (not referring to me...but a particular girl). It made my heart wept when I was sitting there watching someone I love so much telling me he's missing his ex. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them anymore. That happened in Form 6.
I am a girl who doesn't know how to expressed my feelings. That's my handicap (is the spelling right? who cares..) and that cost me to lost someone that is so significant to me. If he ever get to read this page, i just wanna tell him that just because I don't love you the way you want me to, doesn't mean I don't love you with all I have. To you I might be one person, but you're the world to me.
What changes that this page can make? It's pointless i guess. My friends are saying that my love for him is just a puppy love. But if it's what they call a puppy love...i should have moved on easily right? Like i've said in my previous blog, I'm still staring at that pile of sand. Can't seemed to move on. Is not that I'm afraid to let go what seem to be so significant to me, but I just couldn't seem to forget about him.
What joy is joy if thee be not by? I'm sounding so poetic right now. Perhaps I should just knock my head really hard on the wall and lost all my memories of him. I know, i know that i shouldn't have wasted my time waiting for someone who is not willing to waste his time on me. Perhaps, i should not cry because it is over, smile instead because it happened. Maybe I must not try so hard, they say the best thing happens when you least expect them to happen.
I better increase the dosage on my determination jab.
Out of the blue, I logged in to Friendster to get a glimpse of him. My head screamed me to get outta there but my mind asked me to see the whole of his page and it hurts me. The best of it is that it ain't that hurt compared to the time i was in form 6. That's an improvement right?
What are you to do or feel when someone you still love and had been in a relationship with you told you that he can't stop missing is ex (not referring to me...but a particular girl). It made my heart wept when I was sitting there watching someone I love so much telling me he's missing his ex. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them anymore. That happened in Form 6.
I am a girl who doesn't know how to expressed my feelings. That's my handicap (is the spelling right? who cares..) and that cost me to lost someone that is so significant to me. If he ever get to read this page, i just wanna tell him that just because I don't love you the way you want me to, doesn't mean I don't love you with all I have. To you I might be one person, but you're the world to me.
What changes that this page can make? It's pointless i guess. My friends are saying that my love for him is just a puppy love. But if it's what they call a puppy love...i should have moved on easily right? Like i've said in my previous blog, I'm still staring at that pile of sand. Can't seemed to move on. Is not that I'm afraid to let go what seem to be so significant to me, but I just couldn't seem to forget about him.
What joy is joy if thee be not by? I'm sounding so poetic right now. Perhaps I should just knock my head really hard on the wall and lost all my memories of him. I know, i know that i shouldn't have wasted my time waiting for someone who is not willing to waste his time on me. Perhaps, i should not cry because it is over, smile instead because it happened. Maybe I must not try so hard, they say the best thing happens when you least expect them to happen.
I better increase the dosage on my determination jab.
Saturday, 20 October 2007
Relationship Complexities
Relationship is like a grain of sand. If you held it tightly and try to possess it, it will slip through the first crack it finds.
It may seem easy to keep the sand remain in your hand at the beginning just like a relationship. Along the way, if you see it as something treasurable, you feel like possessing it and you don't want to let it slip away. You held it tightly and it slips through without you noticing. By the time you notices that all the sand you are holding are getting lesser, you are paranoid that things are getting to late to mend.
In a relationship, we learn to see a person's imperfection as something perfect. In other words, we are all looking for perfection in imperfection. That's when we demand and expect changes in our partner because we feel like they belong to us.
That's the mistake we all make in a relationship. Love is about give and take. Try to give but don't expect much in return. Love is a two-way street, it takes two to make the relationship works.
Just like the grain of sands held by you, when you noticed it is getting lesser and lesser, u might just want to all of it to slips through or you may want to put it all down and pick more of it with your hands. That's when in a relationship you choose to let go of it or you put in much more effort to make it works.
Today is one of the day I'm missing him again. I am wondering what he's doing in Russia. I had let all the sands to slip through my fingers but I'm still looking at it. It is mocking me! I'm free but why can't I just look at other things but only the sand?
It may seem easy to keep the sand remain in your hand at the beginning just like a relationship. Along the way, if you see it as something treasurable, you feel like possessing it and you don't want to let it slip away. You held it tightly and it slips through without you noticing. By the time you notices that all the sand you are holding are getting lesser, you are paranoid that things are getting to late to mend.
In a relationship, we learn to see a person's imperfection as something perfect. In other words, we are all looking for perfection in imperfection. That's when we demand and expect changes in our partner because we feel like they belong to us.
That's the mistake we all make in a relationship. Love is about give and take. Try to give but don't expect much in return. Love is a two-way street, it takes two to make the relationship works.
Just like the grain of sands held by you, when you noticed it is getting lesser and lesser, u might just want to all of it to slips through or you may want to put it all down and pick more of it with your hands. That's when in a relationship you choose to let go of it or you put in much more effort to make it works.
Today is one of the day I'm missing him again. I am wondering what he's doing in Russia. I had let all the sands to slip through my fingers but I'm still looking at it. It is mocking me! I'm free but why can't I just look at other things but only the sand?
Friday, 19 October 2007
A Fable
Weedy was the only weed growing at the backyard and was surrounded by other flowering plants. Weedy felt inferior with his own beauty and thus he grew up with intense resentment towards other plants that are all proud of their beauty. "It is because of all your beauties that make my beauty not appealing to others!!!" said Weedy.
Driven by jealousy, he decided to inhibit the plants' growth by slowly sucking up their nutrients from the ground beneath their roots. At an early age, he sipped the groundwater and tied up the nitrogen gasses more than other adult plants. Needless to say, Weedy grew up to become a giant weed.
Weedy hated the roses plant so much. He stemmed over beside the red rosy plant. Day after day, he sucked very hard for all the nutrients till the roses have none nutrient left for the plant to survive. He proudly watched the stem of the red rosy plant turned brown and one by one of the flowers fell to the ground and finally died of malnutrition.
Weedy slowly stemmed over at the daisies and tomatoes. He continued his ruthless campaign everyday till all the plants were gone from his eyesight. There, standing glorily at the backyard was Weedy the weed.
Soon enough, Weedy grew up becoming a huge, bitter-looking weed all by himself. He was feeling lonely. His life was meaningless, there was nothing more for him to look forward to - no other plants to kill or any plants to talk to.
He was in depression. Weedy stopped all the water supply to his vessels. What was the point to live? Finally, he wilted. It was pride before a fall.
In reality, most humans are like Weedy the Weed. Everyone is competing with each other to be the survival of the fittest and to dominate other people. But what's the point if people are alienating themselves from you? Is there any happiness when all you've won is just pride alone? If only humans can exist together like all the 7 colours existing in the rainbow then the Earth will be a better place to live. Afterall, no man is an island.
Driven by jealousy, he decided to inhibit the plants' growth by slowly sucking up their nutrients from the ground beneath their roots. At an early age, he sipped the groundwater and tied up the nitrogen gasses more than other adult plants. Needless to say, Weedy grew up to become a giant weed.
Weedy hated the roses plant so much. He stemmed over beside the red rosy plant. Day after day, he sucked very hard for all the nutrients till the roses have none nutrient left for the plant to survive. He proudly watched the stem of the red rosy plant turned brown and one by one of the flowers fell to the ground and finally died of malnutrition.
Weedy slowly stemmed over at the daisies and tomatoes. He continued his ruthless campaign everyday till all the plants were gone from his eyesight. There, standing glorily at the backyard was Weedy the weed.
Soon enough, Weedy grew up becoming a huge, bitter-looking weed all by himself. He was feeling lonely. His life was meaningless, there was nothing more for him to look forward to - no other plants to kill or any plants to talk to.
He was in depression. Weedy stopped all the water supply to his vessels. What was the point to live? Finally, he wilted. It was pride before a fall.
In reality, most humans are like Weedy the Weed. Everyone is competing with each other to be the survival of the fittest and to dominate other people. But what's the point if people are alienating themselves from you? Is there any happiness when all you've won is just pride alone? If only humans can exist together like all the 7 colours existing in the rainbow then the Earth will be a better place to live. Afterall, no man is an island.
Friday, 14 September 2007
Jack of all trades, master of none
When I was in my yesteryears, I hate writing curriculum vitae or resume because I feel so uncomfortable to boost about how good or how suitable I am for a particular thing such as applying for a scholarship or a course in university.
After a few series of unfortunate events of doing group work with a few of my coursemates, I think I won't feel sorry to boost myself later on in writing any resume or curriculum vitae. I'm proud to say I'm extremely responsible person cuz I will finish my own task without people nagging me to do it. I'm also a reliable person cuz I'll deliver a quality assignment and even hand it in on time. That makes me a person with good time management and punctuality. Besides that, I've got a good leadership quality. I don't know where I get the power to push people to do their work eventhough I'm not the leader.
I'm proud to say I deserve all the compliments bcuz people like me don't mind going extra mile to deliver something good on time. Shame on those people who are always procrastinating and refused to do their work. Boo!!!
You'll get more in return if you are willing to go extra mile for something. It's university life, no more spoon-feeding. Get ur work done or else buzz off!!!
After a few series of unfortunate events of doing group work with a few of my coursemates, I think I won't feel sorry to boost myself later on in writing any resume or curriculum vitae. I'm proud to say I'm extremely responsible person cuz I will finish my own task without people nagging me to do it. I'm also a reliable person cuz I'll deliver a quality assignment and even hand it in on time. That makes me a person with good time management and punctuality. Besides that, I've got a good leadership quality. I don't know where I get the power to push people to do their work eventhough I'm not the leader.
I'm proud to say I deserve all the compliments bcuz people like me don't mind going extra mile to deliver something good on time. Shame on those people who are always procrastinating and refused to do their work. Boo!!!
You'll get more in return if you are willing to go extra mile for something. It's university life, no more spoon-feeding. Get ur work done or else buzz off!!!
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Confusion is My Middle Name today
Pisces September 10, 2007
As you know, dear Pisces, you have reached a turning point in your life. The hardest part about making this decision is, as usual, saying farewell to your old ways. The past can seem so cozy and reassuring, especially when the unknown looms. It takes strength and determination to leave it behind. But whether it is a matter of your career or your love life, you have personal goals that cannot be sacrificed or denied.
Reached the turning point in my life? No wonder i feel so restless, lousy, boring, etc, etc today. I can even have all the adjectives from A-Z to describe the state i'm in now.
A-abnormal B-bored C-confuse D-disinterested..... M-moody N-numb..... S-sulky..... U-unsociable..... Z-zombie
I don't have any clue why I am like a walking zombie today. Probably becuz I'm deprived of sleep or I played lantern last nite out of the blue or I'm really crushed after preparing for the performance at the tanglung nite yesterday.
All I want to do now is to land on my own bed and sleep. If I'm lucky, I'll probably feel much better later in the evening.
Friday, 7 September 2007
my physical appearance
The story "The Ugly Duckling" conveys to us that one who is ugly and different will be immediately shunned off by the society. This is totally true. Physical appearance is everything. Whenever and wherever you go, you can't stop people from judging you.
Take me for example. During my teenage life, I was a person with high self-esteem until I've pimples growing all over my face. All those aunties asked, "Ey, what happen to your face? Didn't you wash your face?" Worst of all, a guy told me face to face that my bumpy face was like a toad. I didn't expect that to come and it totally shattered my confidence.
I've less problem with my face now but I've problem with my weight now. My roommate complained that I'm too thin and I look unhealthy. Can anyone tell me how to gain my weight? Stop telling me to consume more food because I have no problem with my eating. I'm not aneroxic and I'm not suffering from bullimia.
Take me for example. During my teenage life, I was a person with high self-esteem until I've pimples growing all over my face. All those aunties asked, "Ey, what happen to your face? Didn't you wash your face?" Worst of all, a guy told me face to face that my bumpy face was like a toad. I didn't expect that to come and it totally shattered my confidence.
I've less problem with my face now but I've problem with my weight now. My roommate complained that I'm too thin and I look unhealthy. Can anyone tell me how to gain my weight? Stop telling me to consume more food because I have no problem with my eating. I'm not aneroxic and I'm not suffering from bullimia.
Monday, 3 September 2007
Merdeka Celebration
I pictured this year's Merdeka celebration will be filled with fireworks, patriotic songs and Merdeka spirit. I thought life in University will be great. That i can go out with a bunch of my friends to watch fireworks. Boy, i was so wrong!!! My friends especially both of my roommates went back their hometown for 3 days leaving me alone with my 27-year-old roommate :(
I woke up the next day feeling so distress! There was no other place to go cause I still dunno how to go from one place to another using LRT and bus. I only know how to catch a bus to Chinatown, Sungei Wang and MidValley of course. But, there was no way I am going to go anywhere cuz there will be no fun going somewhere else alone. And that day, 31 of August, I really overdose myself with boredom.
I finished Linguistic assignment, washed a whole pail of clothing, played Scrabble with the comp for 10 over times and finish playing and doing all those stuff before noon. Afterthat I went down to the canteen to have my lunch. I was imagining a nice set of lunch until the Mak Cik there sneeze right to that dish. Omigod, I wonder how many times I've eaten all the bacterias, viruses and saliva that accidentally came out from her MOUTH!!! No wonder I get diarrhea twice every week! Yucks, she was and still is so GROSS!!!
Sick of that scene, i went back to my room and ended up calling my mom to tell her the gostesque stuff in that canteen.
.....Me : Mommy, u know, that canteen Mak Cik sneeze right there to the dishes without covering her mouth. She's so gross, can you imagine that??
.....Mommy : Haiz, you're alwez complaining. That time you talked on and on bout the bathrooms and the toilets...this time the Mak Cik canteen! No wonder you don't have a boyfriend lar!
.....Me : Mom, you're weird. I thought you forbid be from having a relationship last time?
.....Mommy : Aiyo, you're dy 20!!! Go get a boyfriend.
.....Me : Mom, I'm single but not DESPERATE lar!!! Ok lar, bye, no more credit :P
The call ended at 3p.m. I completed the ending my a short story given by my literature lecturer at 3.15p.m.
Hmmm...not bad for a lazy gal like me. During those 3 days because I was stucked in a boredom, I chose to wash with my own hands since I got nothing else to do. Not bad though, i must say that it was quite successful. Then, i tidied up my whole room and i finished all my assignments and homeworks too:P I'm actually quite satisfied with my so-called Merdeka break celebration :) although I'm loner during those 3 days.
I woke up the next day feeling so distress! There was no other place to go cause I still dunno how to go from one place to another using LRT and bus. I only know how to catch a bus to Chinatown, Sungei Wang and MidValley of course. But, there was no way I am going to go anywhere cuz there will be no fun going somewhere else alone. And that day, 31 of August, I really overdose myself with boredom.
I finished Linguistic assignment, washed a whole pail of clothing, played Scrabble with the comp for 10 over times and finish playing and doing all those stuff before noon. Afterthat I went down to the canteen to have my lunch. I was imagining a nice set of lunch until the Mak Cik there sneeze right to that dish. Omigod, I wonder how many times I've eaten all the bacterias, viruses and saliva that accidentally came out from her MOUTH!!! No wonder I get diarrhea twice every week! Yucks, she was and still is so GROSS!!!
Sick of that scene, i went back to my room and ended up calling my mom to tell her the gostesque stuff in that canteen.
.....Me : Mommy, u know, that canteen Mak Cik sneeze right there to the dishes without covering her mouth. She's so gross, can you imagine that??
.....Mommy : Haiz, you're alwez complaining. That time you talked on and on bout the bathrooms and the toilets...this time the Mak Cik canteen! No wonder you don't have a boyfriend lar!
.....Me : Mom, you're weird. I thought you forbid be from having a relationship last time?
.....Mommy : Aiyo, you're dy 20!!! Go get a boyfriend.
.....Me : Mom, I'm single but not DESPERATE lar!!! Ok lar, bye, no more credit :P
The call ended at 3p.m. I completed the ending my a short story given by my literature lecturer at 3.15p.m.
Hmmm...not bad for a lazy gal like me. During those 3 days because I was stucked in a boredom, I chose to wash with my own hands since I got nothing else to do. Not bad though, i must say that it was quite successful. Then, i tidied up my whole room and i finished all my assignments and homeworks too:P I'm actually quite satisfied with my so-called Merdeka break celebration :) although I'm loner during those 3 days.
Thursday, 16 August 2007
bathroom cum toilet chaos
Ok... I'll come clean with you all. I'm not a clean freak!!! But, as dirty or disorder or whatever you wana call me, I do hope to step into a clean toilet or a bathroom cuz my purpose of taking bath is to get rid of my stickiness (is da spelling right?) and I wanna smell fresh :)
I normally shower thrice a day and I just couldn't bear with the toilet condition anymore. The sight of the toilet is following me everywhere till I have to blog about it!!! Oh, gosh!!! I'm staying in a hostel so there's no use to lament about it cuz I still have to deal with the condition until I finish my 1st semester :(
I was imagining a nice cool shower in da afternoon so I went to the bathroom to have my shower. It was a blissful bath at the beginning of the shower until the water couldn't find it's way out to the drain (the hole on the floor was clogged). So, when i was shampooing my body, whoa!!! all the hair (the hair from the scalp and pubic hair) was floating around my feet. Yucks!!! And then i saw, there was a pad stucked there...who da heck throws her pad there?!!!
That's not all, I stared up at the ceiling and saw an army of ants going somewhere near the window and oh dear!!! there's another pad stucked at the small opening of da window with the red colour thingy there (the blood of course).
Gross right??? Those people have no shame...they don't even have any clue about basic hygiene :( they are so uncivilised!!!
Do you know what's the cons when the bathroom is by the side of the toilet? Let me enlighten you with my elaboration :P You smell people doing their 'bug business' of course!!! Not only that, you can even hear the sound (plupp!!!) when that 'dark brown colour' fell into the toilet bowl.
Feel like you are going to hurl anytime soon??? Just imagine me going to that bathroom and toilet everyday you'll know how lucky you are staying at ur home sweet home!!! I miss my toilet and my bathroom so much!!! At least my home's toilet won't have a sanitary bin full of pads until some of them fell down to the floor!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!
I wana upload da photos of my hostel's bathroom cum toilet but I dun have the courage to do so...it makes me wana hurl...and if i snap it...it dirties my phone :)
I normally shower thrice a day and I just couldn't bear with the toilet condition anymore. The sight of the toilet is following me everywhere till I have to blog about it!!! Oh, gosh!!! I'm staying in a hostel so there's no use to lament about it cuz I still have to deal with the condition until I finish my 1st semester :(
I was imagining a nice cool shower in da afternoon so I went to the bathroom to have my shower. It was a blissful bath at the beginning of the shower until the water couldn't find it's way out to the drain (the hole on the floor was clogged). So, when i was shampooing my body, whoa!!! all the hair (the hair from the scalp and pubic hair) was floating around my feet. Yucks!!! And then i saw, there was a pad stucked there...who da heck throws her pad there?!!!
That's not all, I stared up at the ceiling and saw an army of ants going somewhere near the window and oh dear!!! there's another pad stucked at the small opening of da window with the red colour thingy there (the blood of course).
Gross right??? Those people have no shame...they don't even have any clue about basic hygiene :( they are so uncivilised!!!
Do you know what's the cons when the bathroom is by the side of the toilet? Let me enlighten you with my elaboration :P You smell people doing their 'bug business' of course!!! Not only that, you can even hear the sound (plupp!!!) when that 'dark brown colour' fell into the toilet bowl.
Feel like you are going to hurl anytime soon??? Just imagine me going to that bathroom and toilet everyday you'll know how lucky you are staying at ur home sweet home!!! I miss my toilet and my bathroom so much!!! At least my home's toilet won't have a sanitary bin full of pads until some of them fell down to the floor!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!
I wana upload da photos of my hostel's bathroom cum toilet but I dun have the courage to do so...it makes me wana hurl...and if i snap it...it dirties my phone :)
Friday, 22 June 2007
so much things to do...so little time!!!
It seems like a chapter of our lives is about to end and another one is about to begin. I finally secured a place in one of the most prestigious universities in Malaysia that is University Malaya. Some of my friends got UKM, UPM and USM. Sad to say, most of us are going different path now :( Unfortunately for Chin Eng and Meen Yee, Yong Feng and Ban Loong, Mun Pan and Li Soon...these love birds will be very very far apart. It is hard to keep a long distance relationship, it takes lots of effort and commitment. But, absence makes the heart grows fonder right??? I mean they will be all lovey-dovey when they meet up...oh so sweet!!! But it may also be out of sight out of mind :P hahaha...so evil of me for saying such sentence!
Going to Uni is fun...is a whole new experience! But then, getting those documents ready, get Wakil Rakyat to sign those papers, opening acc in Bank Islam, going for body check-up, buy attire, shoes...etc etc takes so much of my time. It juz so much to do...so little time.
So, here's the thing I must do tomorrow:
- go for medical check-up.
-photostating
-shopping
Sounds like not much to do...cool!!!
Going to Uni is fun...is a whole new experience! But then, getting those documents ready, get Wakil Rakyat to sign those papers, opening acc in Bank Islam, going for body check-up, buy attire, shoes...etc etc takes so much of my time. It juz so much to do...so little time.
So, here's the thing I must do tomorrow:
- go for medical check-up.
-photostating
-shopping
Sounds like not much to do...cool!!!
Friday, 15 June 2007
think you know yourself?? try this..
Life is a voyage of self-discovery. Along the way, you might think you know yourself more than others do. But then again, with all the obstacles and hardship we gone through, sometimes we even lose our identity and we find it again in the other path of life.
So, if confusion is your middle name or you feel pointless bout your life, it wouldn't hurt to try this psychology test...This is what i tried in friendster bulletin board today:
Choose either one:
1) Black or white: white
2) Coffee or softdrinks: coffee
3)Moon or stars: stars
4)TV or radio: TV
5)Sugar or spice: sugar
6)Dogs or cats: dogs
7)Ninja or pirate: pirate
Answer reflects:
1) BLACK- You love the crowd.a partyanimal! Too many friends you cannot easily tell which among them is real and not.
WHITE- Mysterious.often times,a loner.You know your true friends and only them are allowed to understand the real you.
2)COFFEE- You hide your emotions.Sometimes pretending to be always happy.Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.
SOFTDRINKS- You are usually expressive.Open about your emotions and most of the time willing to talk about it.
3)MOON-You love deeply.you may flirt along and people think you are a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.
STARS- You search for love.you are a hopeless romantic and everytime you enter a relationship,you give your all and believe this is the One.
4)TV- You have so many ideas in mind.You are creative and aggressive!If you want something, you will do anything to get it!
RADIO- You appreciate simple things inlife.You hate complicating things that is why you are typically up-front in any aspect.
5)SUGAR- You are an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend.You do not care if your partner does not really love you as long as you love him.You give your all.
SPICE- You are a stubborn sweetheart. You love him/her onlybecause he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.
6) DOGS- You are intimidating! People have an impression that you are elite or if not, you simply look sophisticated. You gain praises but not companions.
CATS- You are undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because theyknow you will consider them.
7)NINJA- You love actions with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect person or people/things that are important to you.
PIRATE- You are independent!You are also risky just like the pirates who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures.
Hmmm...this psychology test turned out to be very true. It does reflects the real me. Yeah, I'm mysterious and a loner bcuz i don't open up myself to everyone. I only let those friends that are trustworthy to share things that are important to me. Right now, I'm not searching for love cuz I'm taking my time off of this relationship thingy. It drains people's energy and I feel that I'm better off alone. I don't want to ride any emotional roller coaster anymore...not until I'm ready.
I'm a pisces and most pisces are hopeless romantic but I'm not good in expressing my feelings. I can talk bout many things but I'm juz not good in opening myself up. I gotta learn that sooner or later...
So, if confusion is your middle name or you feel pointless bout your life, it wouldn't hurt to try this psychology test...This is what i tried in friendster bulletin board today:
Choose either one:
1) Black or white: white
2) Coffee or softdrinks: coffee
3)Moon or stars: stars
4)TV or radio: TV
5)Sugar or spice: sugar
6)Dogs or cats: dogs
7)Ninja or pirate: pirate
Answer reflects:
1) BLACK- You love the crowd.a partyanimal! Too many friends you cannot easily tell which among them is real and not.
WHITE- Mysterious.often times,a loner.You know your true friends and only them are allowed to understand the real you.
2)COFFEE- You hide your emotions.Sometimes pretending to be always happy.Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.
SOFTDRINKS- You are usually expressive.Open about your emotions and most of the time willing to talk about it.
3)MOON-You love deeply.you may flirt along and people think you are a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.
STARS- You search for love.you are a hopeless romantic and everytime you enter a relationship,you give your all and believe this is the One.
4)TV- You have so many ideas in mind.You are creative and aggressive!If you want something, you will do anything to get it!
RADIO- You appreciate simple things inlife.You hate complicating things that is why you are typically up-front in any aspect.
5)SUGAR- You are an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend.You do not care if your partner does not really love you as long as you love him.You give your all.
SPICE- You are a stubborn sweetheart. You love him/her onlybecause he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.
6) DOGS- You are intimidating! People have an impression that you are elite or if not, you simply look sophisticated. You gain praises but not companions.
CATS- You are undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because theyknow you will consider them.
7)NINJA- You love actions with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect person or people/things that are important to you.
PIRATE- You are independent!You are also risky just like the pirates who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures.
Hmmm...this psychology test turned out to be very true. It does reflects the real me. Yeah, I'm mysterious and a loner bcuz i don't open up myself to everyone. I only let those friends that are trustworthy to share things that are important to me. Right now, I'm not searching for love cuz I'm taking my time off of this relationship thingy. It drains people's energy and I feel that I'm better off alone. I don't want to ride any emotional roller coaster anymore...not until I'm ready.
I'm a pisces and most pisces are hopeless romantic but I'm not good in expressing my feelings. I can talk bout many things but I'm juz not good in opening myself up. I gotta learn that sooner or later...
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
crazy bout those ladybird...ladybug...
I ate a bar of chocolate and a stick of ice-cream 1 hour after my lunch today. Afraid that I'll become da next fatty-bom-bom, I decided to do gardening since I couldn't stand seeing those grass growing on my pot of plants. While i was doing my gardening, i spotted one cute ladybird on the leaf of my duno-what-plant :)... then i started to play with it...the more i play with it, the more excited I'm...gosh...i'm so so lame!!! I actually like turning it over up side down...I'll laugh when i see it having difficulty turning itself to it's original position...oh, i'm so so cruel.
Out of curiosity, I went to search for other ladybirds. Then i started to line it up so they will go here and there like a train. I wonder why they call ladybird sumtimes as ladybug...are they all females or they named them ladybug simply because ladies like to bug people?? ...hmm...how interesting!!!
I found this on my neighbour's plant. Wow, so many ladybirds...so awful! I can even feel goosebumps on my skin!!! I finally went into my house...wash my hand n blog bout it now. I SWEAR I WON'T PLAY WITH LADYBIRDS ANYMORE!!!
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
Every dewdrop and raindrop has a whole heaven within it...save our Earth!!!
I was sitting on the sofa staring at the majestic clear blue sky. The afternoon sun illuminated the whole place casting reassuring shadow of my neighbour's mango tree. It was one of those sweltering hot day in this tropical country. I focus back my gaze on Evanescence's MTV 'Lithium' and I can't stop visualizing myself being in her place - her cold, dark. mysterious place.
It's really hot outside. It's undoubtedly that human activities are causing the climate to change. We are so wrong when we once thought that Malaysia's vastness of tropical rainforest, highlands, seas and freshwater ecosystem will have no problem in absorbing those heat-trapping-polluting gasses without significant consequences. In conjunction with the World Environment Day 2007, more and more individuals are exposed on how human activities such as deforestation, open burning and the rubbish we dump are affecting the Earth's biodiversity. Of course, development is inevitable and the least we can do is try to reduce our waste to sustain the environment so that there'll only be more for everyone in the future.
With regard to this, some of the readers of The Star newspaper pledge to practice recycling, car pooling, etc etc to show support for the World Environment Day 2007. It seems like everyone is doing their part to save the environment and I wana be part of da crowd too!!!
Therefore, from yesterday onwards till da day I'm going to Uni, I'm going to sleep in my mom's room together with my bro and sis to reduce the usage of electricity and air-conditioner. It's a big sacrifice cuz I've to line the cushion on the floor or else I'll have to place to crush. Heck, I even woke up at the wee hours when my sis kicked her stuffed animal down her bed and landed on my face! Worst of all, my bro's alarm clock started making noise on 5.30a.m. when I'm suppose to wake up on 7a.m. :( :( :(
From today onwards, I'm going to use the water I use to wash veggie everyday to water my plants. My plants will benefit from those water soluble vitamins and might grow taller and flower more often. Wow, so nourishing!!!
Hmmm... maybe I should give my friends plants instead of other birthday gifts. More plants = more oxygen :) :) and by da time I'll lose more of my friends... muahahaha. I guess, moderation is the key to everything.
It's really hot outside. It's undoubtedly that human activities are causing the climate to change. We are so wrong when we once thought that Malaysia's vastness of tropical rainforest, highlands, seas and freshwater ecosystem will have no problem in absorbing those heat-trapping-polluting gasses without significant consequences. In conjunction with the World Environment Day 2007, more and more individuals are exposed on how human activities such as deforestation, open burning and the rubbish we dump are affecting the Earth's biodiversity. Of course, development is inevitable and the least we can do is try to reduce our waste to sustain the environment so that there'll only be more for everyone in the future.
With regard to this, some of the readers of The Star newspaper pledge to practice recycling, car pooling, etc etc to show support for the World Environment Day 2007. It seems like everyone is doing their part to save the environment and I wana be part of da crowd too!!!
Therefore, from yesterday onwards till da day I'm going to Uni, I'm going to sleep in my mom's room together with my bro and sis to reduce the usage of electricity and air-conditioner. It's a big sacrifice cuz I've to line the cushion on the floor or else I'll have to place to crush. Heck, I even woke up at the wee hours when my sis kicked her stuffed animal down her bed and landed on my face! Worst of all, my bro's alarm clock started making noise on 5.30a.m. when I'm suppose to wake up on 7a.m. :( :( :(
From today onwards, I'm going to use the water I use to wash veggie everyday to water my plants. My plants will benefit from those water soluble vitamins and might grow taller and flower more often. Wow, so nourishing!!!
Hmmm... maybe I should give my friends plants instead of other birthday gifts. More plants = more oxygen :) :) and by da time I'll lose more of my friends... muahahaha. I guess, moderation is the key to everything.
Saturday, 9 June 2007
The Greatest of All Treasures
To-morrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
Life's Brief Candle is an extract from the Shakespearean play called Macbeth. In that play, Macbeth who is the new King of Scotland is getting ready for a battle with the English and Scottish soldiers was informed of his Queen's death. He feels sad and devastated because his Queen is no longer there to support him through his good times and bad times...He can no longer shares his glory with her. He sees his future as meaningless and that's where he compares his life to a candle - a symbol of the temporary nature of life which is brief.
All the world's a stage and all the men and women are merely players. They have their exits and their entrances and one man in his lifetime plays many parts and some of it includes dealing with loss just like Macbeth.
I used to believe that inherent with the word loss was the implication that what is lost can be found. For instance, a gambler losses his bet in a game and recovers back his vast fortune in his next game, a boy cries over the loss of his lollipop when his friend snatched it from him then shouts with laughter when his mother bought another 3 for him.
Last October I lost another much more beautiful treasure...he's my father. He's the one that gave life to me (by contributing a sperm), help me to go through puberty, tolerated with me rebellious nature, colour my life with love and his never-ending lectures. He's the fiery gem among the colourless stones that've made up my world. Unfortunately, he lost his battle to his renal disease :( "sob...sob"
He left behind his precious yellow Ford Courier to me. His car has been like a father figure to me. It really breaks my heart when I got to let go of the car. The car and I have been through lots of good times and bad times. It was him who lent me a stering (is da word right??) when i needed a good cry to cope with my father's illness. It was him who transported my father to do his AV Fistula. Such a good car:) He has been my pillar of strength all this while. I cried like a kid on 6th June when i gave da car keys to da 2nd hand car dealer. It's like me betraying the car and the betrayal is so profound :(
My father is right. Life is not always a smooth sail and we shouldn't let our emotions get the better of us. We might not able to change how things might end but we can change on how we think bout it. There are many treasures is this world...we might as well cherish them now.
Sunday, 3 June 2007
The Blind Spot
Your eyes are not only the window to your soul. They speak volumes about your social life and tendencies in romance. It's called the ancient Chinese art of face reading. If your eyes are large, you mostly are the party type who have no problem in meeting new people and are confident enough to express your views. On the other hand, if you're endowed with small eyes, you might be the shy kind who prefers to watch others rather than get right into the thick of the scene. Surely there will be some exceptions in this reading, believing it or not is up to you cuz I'll not be held responsible for triggering any emotional-upheaval after reading this piece of blog.
According to the renowned Leonardo da Vinci (is da spelling right??), the eyes are the mirror of the soul simply because they show how you feel inside. Open eyes convey belief in oneself... The eyes is so powerful not only because it's a sensory organ for light but because by looking at the pair of eyes, even the dead can speak on whether they are being murdered or they die naturally because of a disease. Curious to know more?? Find it out yourself or watch it in CSI or NCIS...if you're lucky enough maybe they will show you this:)
The eyes might be a powerful organ but as powerful as it may seem, our naked eyes still have some limitations such as we are unable to see microscopic organisms without the help of the microscope. Sometimes, even our eyes fail us when we didn't see any cars behind of us and end up banging dat car:( Yeah, blame it all on the blindspot.
I watched Grey's Anatomy today (repeat) and yeah da show did mention blindspot. A kid's nanny accidently caused the child to be hospitalised with serios injuries becuz she didn't see that she was behind her SUV...hmmm...blindspot...aiseh. To my dissapointment, the child's mother didn't even know her daughter's bloodtype which is A- and what her daughter ate as breakfast. Haiz, so much for having a child and a busy lifestyle to cope with.
The husband even blamed his wife for not looking after her own daughter for even 5 minutes. Women always get blame for something like this because they are responsible to take care of the child since ancient times. It makes me wonder why some people decided to have a child when they're not ready to care for their baby?
Okay, so maybe there's no family planning. But, what bout the teenagers?? The number of teenagers getting pregnant before their marriage is increasing in an alarming rate now. My friends and I used to have a very interesting discussion on this topic. The guys will say, "It's the females fault...They wear sexy clothing that lure us into doing this." Some of them will say, "Females nowadays are cheap...they let their BF touch them all over the place." Those females will say, " The guys too hamsap lar."
Girls may not be that angelic. They too are humans with sexual desire...so do guys. Being able to control one's sexual needs is what make u a highly respected man and women. Practice abstinence if you're not ready to have any babies.
According to the renowned Leonardo da Vinci (is da spelling right??), the eyes are the mirror of the soul simply because they show how you feel inside. Open eyes convey belief in oneself... The eyes is so powerful not only because it's a sensory organ for light but because by looking at the pair of eyes, even the dead can speak on whether they are being murdered or they die naturally because of a disease. Curious to know more?? Find it out yourself or watch it in CSI or NCIS...if you're lucky enough maybe they will show you this:)
The eyes might be a powerful organ but as powerful as it may seem, our naked eyes still have some limitations such as we are unable to see microscopic organisms without the help of the microscope. Sometimes, even our eyes fail us when we didn't see any cars behind of us and end up banging dat car:( Yeah, blame it all on the blindspot.
I watched Grey's Anatomy today (repeat) and yeah da show did mention blindspot. A kid's nanny accidently caused the child to be hospitalised with serios injuries becuz she didn't see that she was behind her SUV...hmmm...blindspot...aiseh. To my dissapointment, the child's mother didn't even know her daughter's bloodtype which is A- and what her daughter ate as breakfast. Haiz, so much for having a child and a busy lifestyle to cope with.
The husband even blamed his wife for not looking after her own daughter for even 5 minutes. Women always get blame for something like this because they are responsible to take care of the child since ancient times. It makes me wonder why some people decided to have a child when they're not ready to care for their baby?
Okay, so maybe there's no family planning. But, what bout the teenagers?? The number of teenagers getting pregnant before their marriage is increasing in an alarming rate now. My friends and I used to have a very interesting discussion on this topic. The guys will say, "It's the females fault...They wear sexy clothing that lure us into doing this." Some of them will say, "Females nowadays are cheap...they let their BF touch them all over the place." Those females will say, " The guys too hamsap lar."
Girls may not be that angelic. They too are humans with sexual desire...so do guys. Being able to control one's sexual needs is what make u a highly respected man and women. Practice abstinence if you're not ready to have any babies.
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
me, myself and i
When my bike was still a four-wheeler, my parents used to bring me to the temple to watch opera after our prayers once in a blue moon. Then, i would call my mom to make-up for me looking like one of da character in that opera. Afterthat, I'll put 2 flags at da back of my dress, start jumping up and down on our master bed, start to scream n sing out loud like those in da opera.
When I was a little older, around 7 or 8 years old, I switched on the t.v and got mesmerized by a slender gymnast performing her enchanting ribbon routine. Though i didn't get a chance to learn opera, I got da chance to train under a Russian coach who taught me Rhythmic Gymnastic.
Training under her was really tough. I would be really really lucky if I didn't get scolded by her during my training or when she curiously wanted to know bout my weight. I got to learn ballet everyday to warm up before training, i got to learn to cope with the strict diet...to deal with injury...etc etc-endless sacrifices.
SUKMA in Sabah was my last competition, the last time for me to hear the whole of Pahang team shouting "Go, Li Chin!!!" or "Go, Pahang!!!"...the last time my adrenaline pumping bcuz of da crowds knowing that i cannot dissapoint my my teammates. But, all the sacrifices are totally worth it.
I quit rhythmic gymnastic afterthat, got a haircut simply bcuz my friends dared me to cut it short and voila!!! i ended up looking like a mushroom head with pimply face and a flabby muscles:( pathetic!!!
Years and years of reinventing and improving myself...one of the thing i can be proud of is my hair- my straight, silky long hair:)
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Why parties are like geometry??
Parties are basically large social gathering attended by people dressing up like celebrities and show up in pairs like Angelina Jolie-Brat Pitt or friends like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Most of the time, people hang out in big circles with like-minded friends, eating geometrically shaped sandwiches and crackers with square cheese topping on them.
Those single females will search for their potential date or eyeing for Mr.Drop Dead Gorgeous while most of the guys are working hard to get upclose with girls (guys love girls with cleavage) just to get their contact numbers.
Then, the host of the party will try to balance out Pythagoras's famous equation that is to make sure (people)2 + (fun)2 does not equal (trouble)2.
While in a more complicated relationship, coincidentally or unfortunately, those who are into two-timing relationship will bump into each other and forms love triangles of all sizes when point A, B and C are all present in the same room...looking at each other...while B has his jaw dropped open, C will walk up to B and land her hand on B's face, A will stare right into B's eye and then break off there and then with him.
Ouch!!! What a nice disastrous geometry party...:)
Those single females will search for their potential date or eyeing for Mr.Drop Dead Gorgeous while most of the guys are working hard to get upclose with girls (guys love girls with cleavage) just to get their contact numbers.
Then, the host of the party will try to balance out Pythagoras's famous equation that is to make sure (people)2 + (fun)2 does not equal (trouble)2.
While in a more complicated relationship, coincidentally or unfortunately, those who are into two-timing relationship will bump into each other and forms love triangles of all sizes when point A, B and C are all present in the same room...looking at each other...while B has his jaw dropped open, C will walk up to B and land her hand on B's face, A will stare right into B's eye and then break off there and then with him.
Ouch!!! What a nice disastrous geometry party...:)
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