all about me

Change

2011-07-05T10:38:00.008+08:00

Change is constant. Some grow out of it. Some are stuck in the same vicious cycle of bewilderment. Changes, whether it's a natural cycle, an order imposed on you by someone else or a resolution you plan to achieve, it's never easy. To the fearfuls, it might be a difficult phase facing the uncertainties in life. To the hopefuls, tomorrow is a better day. To the confident ones who yearn for challenges that life's offering, it's a period of excitement.

Facing changes is inevitable. Britney Spears' career went under hiatus with series of erratic behaviour but later released the global chart-topping "Womanizer". Lady Gaga who is well-known for her erratic dressing is a woman of change not only in her fashion sense but also in her performances which gained her her success in the music industry. A teenager who was running errand for his mother later found hanged in his room. Some are ready to change, some are not. Whether we succesfully conquered the changes around us or we failed to do so, our life is what our thoughts that make it.

Taking a time off to scrutinize my life, it hasn't been running the way I want it to be. My sister and brother's education is on the top of my priority list right now. Imposing plans on teenagers has been hazardous with lots of screaming in the house lately. Time for re-strategizing things for a positive change because if things cannot change, I need to buck up for a change.

Perhaps all those yelling did not put my energy to waste, I realized time do not change life but it changes the way we want our life to be. Whether we are rummaging through the entire book-store looking for a self-help book, we might as well rummage through our mind searching for what we want to change about ourselves, priortise our responsibilities and strategize a new strategy to tackle the problem.

It's a new semester on parenting and how to keep the household clean :)

Speaking of change, with the recent hoo-hah on Bersih, I wonder the change of government can put a stop to Lynas? Which I think is quite impossible since the compensation to put a halt on this project is too high for anyone to bear...

25 Stuffs To Accomplish Before Turning 25

2010-05-30T14:42:00.004+08:00

We all have some untrodden paths in our lives. There's this great capabilities we haven't unearthed, the wild side of us that goes unexplored, and sometimes we all just sit there doing our work of routine, waiting for the good things to occur. Rather than sitting down here engulfed by all the never-ending work, complain that our days are bored and we're practically rotting everyday, why not just brace ourselves for a little tasks to do.

Here are the stuffs I wish to accomplish Before I Am 25:
1) Backpack with my friends to some country(ies) abroad.
2) Go to somewhere cooling on my own just to find myself.
3) Get drunk and talk nonsense.
4) Go clubbing.
5) Punch someone.
6) White water rafting.
7) A road trip with friends. Pack and go to wherever the road will take us with Chris Daughtry's songs as background music.
8) Take a midnight drive to any beach and stick there till it's dawn.
9) Write a short story and get it published in The Star.
10) Make up whenever I go out.
11) Take my family to Harbin or any beautiful place abroad.
12) Remember all the routes in Kuala Lumpur.
13) Read Moby Dick.
14) Do volunteering work at the old folks home, orphanage or those places where they keep unwanted dogs.
15) Learn to jazz dance.
16) Write a few songs and put it up on YouTube.
17) Have RM10k in my account.
18) Buy an expensive watch for myself.
19) Have a health insurance.
20) Be a very successful teacher and make a difference in everyone's life.
21) Read newspapers everyday.
22) Write a superb thesis.
23) Earn at least RM4k a month by the time I am 25.
24) Give my mom RM500 every month by the time I am 24.
25) Get a boyfriend that is worthwhile for all my attention.

I have learned that there are things that worth striving for and there are things that don't, there are friends that worth keeping and there are friends that we might as well make them slip away. We can't have perfection in our life. We might as well have a little fun along the way, brighten up someone's day and create a little happiness here and there.

Sometimes It Is An End To A Journey

2010-05-02T23:53:00.005+08:00

"So this is it huh? You're courting me because someone has asked you to take good care of me?" I heaved out those words from my heart. A sense of despair washed over me as he blurted out a yes. As I walked away from the quiet spot where we had our last talk, where I found the closure I had always wanted, I knew a chapter of my life has begun-- a new chapter without what-ifs and if-only, a chapter for me to collect back the pieces of my heart shattered from this stroke of incident.

That night was not an easy night. Veins in my head were pulsing, I was clenching and unclenching my jaw as I realized what a complete fool I had put myself into. I had wasted my whole semester waiting for a guy who was completely over me or a guy who had completely fooled me into thinking that he felt the same way that I did. I pushed aside my frustration and the penetrating pain when I saw him flirting with other girls and pretended as if it did not affect me because I had moved on, I put up a mask of happy face when someone questioned me about him because I did not want to care and my heart did not want to cry. I did not want to expose the naked truth behind this wounded soul and yet I knew I was dying inside.

As I stared out into the dark, fathomable sky, recollecting the moments the images of him corrupting my mind, it hit me hard that missing him was the deadliest poison in my mind. "Why should I deprive myself from happiness?" I questioned myself in the midst of the silent night.

As I waited for the breaking dawn, I consoled myself that I knew what I had signed up from the start. I gave what I had to give and if it was not enough then it was a goodbye. This is life and breaking heart will survive. I will never know what I am capable to achieve if I stay on forever like this on the same familiar ground. There is a maxim that rings loud "There are moments in life that make you and set the course of who you're going to be. Sometimes they're little subtle moments, sometimes they're big moments that you never saw it coming. No one asks for that kind of change and it's what you do afterwards that counts." I turn over a new life and this chapter of my life is about finding back the things I have lost-- my pride, dignity and happiness afterall deep down, I knew I am meant for something greater.

**I am trying to be ambitious...penning down a few words so that I can write a novel one day**

Pick-Up Lines

2010-05-01T16:27:00.003+08:00

Boy, can you give me a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation cuz you just took my breath away.

You must be tired. You have been running through my mind every second, every hour, every single moment.

Are you the broom? You swept me off my feet in vroom.

I seem so off today. Can you turn me on?

While these pick-up lines might seem fun and original in their own way, the art of verbal flirting differs from culture to culture and society to society. Sometimes, when I have my creative juice flowing, I am able to come up with hundreds of this pick up lines but even if I am able to do that, with the geographical setting I am in, with the kind of shy reclusive personality I have, it doesn't ensure a successful courtship.

Evidence of the most creative pick-up lines in my head right now:
1) You're so bright, you must be my knight in shining armour. (If that guy is really intelligence and his knowledge is a turn on for you)
2) You're my alcohol. You got me so intoxicated right now.
3) You're like my teddy bear. Cute, warm and hairy in a way.
4) Was it the adrenaline or you making my heart beats faster?
5) You must be the sunshine, you bright up my day.

These pick up lines are effortless and I am able to come up with quite a few in 1 minute but to express it out is a big no-no because in the country I am living in, it is all about modesty and these lines only makes me look like a joker or an idiot. Nevertheless, I believe this verbal flirting works in sparking up the relationship.

This post serves as a channel to channel out my creative juice. Any resemblances to any posts are perfectly INTENTIONAL. And You may kiss the bride now.

Birthday and Family

2010-03-03T22:20:00.003+08:00

Thomas Hardy, the poet in the Victorian era, the epitome of a very depressed individual, will be writing a poetry on how birthday is a day to mourn because it brings us closer to death if he is still alive and has the chance to write. Based on my last post, my readers will deem me as a very bi-polar person where I can feel extreme joy and extreme depressing moments. I am 23 on February 22, 2010 and I strongly feel that birthday is a day to celebrate because we grow old not by aging but by the experiences we had and because of that every passing year is just going to make me wiser.

Looking back in my teenage years, there were some things that I regretted doing. Although sometimes I wish there are things that people would tell me 8 years ago, it hit me that I'm just 23 and there's still time to reboot my life. I think birthday is the best time to reflect on how I have grown up and become matured overtime :)

The top 3 things I regretted doing:
1) The kiasu and kiasi-ism in me that warded of some of my friends.
2) Caring too much about the remarks of others.
3) Not loving enough and not knowing the ways to express love.

I think about things like this from time to time and I hope someone could provide me with a little wisdom so that I can do all the things right so that I don't live in regret. However, experience is the great teacher of life. It makes you to discover instead of making you follow everything that other sets for you.

This three years in university I have been wasting quite a lot of time obsessing grades and I wasted most of my holidays tackling my assignments. I hardly spend quality time with my family. I'll need time to improve on that because there's nothing like a family.

And Arul, Anna, Jess and Alan, you all are my family in UM, the second best cuz the best of the best I reserve that for my real family :)

##Writing skill seems to going down the drain... Sorry##

Don't Even Stop By And Read This

2010-01-06T17:16:00.002+08:00

They said you write better when you experienced something yourself because it will stay vividly in your mind. I had finally come to a point where I feel like mutilating myself. Life has taken a toll on me although it seems like yesterday I was writing down my resolutions aiming to do better this year. Like what Thomas Hardy felt, life's bleak. You can plan something but nature takes its course.

My post might reflect that I am quite pessimistic in nature. I can never understand why failure sometimes might be a greater gift than success. Austerity is never a way of life for me. I have expectations and I know my strengths and weaknesses and I certainly don't need someone to remind me of my weaknesses all over again. Please, I don't need to be knocked down twice. It's painful till the point that putting oneself in front of a speeding truck seemed less awful.

I feel so down and yet so angry today after my last lecture. Blood was boiling in me and I was practically steaming. Screw those people that say when you feel suicidal, talk to someone! When you talk to someone about stuffs that are bothering you, it only seems trivial to some of them unless they have expectations like you do.

My thoughts about self-mutilation and suicidal might be a destructive one but on the other extreme end of thoughts, great people have more destructive thoughts than others because of the expectations they have for themselves. And yet, having these thoughts do not mean they are no brainers that do not value life. It is just because they fear nothing, not even death but only failures.

My only question is, would you let someone with destructive thoughts to lead your kids? Like me, I'll be a teacher and the future of some younger generations are depended on my teaching. Would you want me to teach your child?

2010 Resolutions

2009-12-25T08:30:00.000+08:00

Alrite!!! It's the festive season again. Merry Christmas everyone!!! How I hope I can feel the snow with the touch of my hands right now. No such luck. It's Malaysia. This place is either covered with the sun or the rain. Nevertheless, without the snow, the reindeer, elves, Santa on the street, we are still able to feel the joy of Christmas right? Cuz the merry thoughts, time with loved ones and other things that money can't buy are the basic ingredients of Christmas.

2009 is almost coming to its end. It's funny to me that 'year' actually has life-span. Well, it's funny how I put it to sound like. It's the time for me to review the things I have achieved, lost, gained thus far. To be frank, I actually lost quite a lot of money with me being such a spendthrift, gained quite a number of friends but not boyfriend :( and achieved those things I've never thought to achieve.

Last 2 days, I was so high on caffeine that I had such a hard time persuading myself to sleep. So, I ended up rummaging my books cabinet to look for the resolutions I wrote down during my years in high school. They are:
1) I will get straight As like what I got in my PMR.
2) I will get rid of my pimples and be more beautiful than xxxx xxx xxx.
3) I will not make my room messy.
so on and so forth until I reached an unrealistic one and burst out laughing.
10) I will walk like a model.
Gosh...what a killer!!!

I guess growing old makes us focus on the things that are significant to us. Somehow I realized the stuffs like walking like a model isn't going to take me anywhere far. I think I am hit by the quarter-life crisis, where all I am thinking now is how to nail that job, get the car, the Masters, the money. And yet, I know I should not be bogged down by all these. All that I am after is life full of laughter which means meeting up my own expectations and doing something great for others.

Li Chin's 2010 Resolutions
1) Write a superb thesis.
2) Buck up for my teaching practice.
3) Get better GPAs.
4) Speak like an English.
5) Get rid of my shyness.
6) Make more time for friends and family.
7) Save more money.
8) Better complexion.

I have noticed that I don't feel sheer happiness in my life in campus. I need more love and to get more love is by giving out all the love I can give. By that, I don't mean getting a boyfriend for myself. I mean having some time with family and friends, giving out to charity and helping those I am able to help. I don't want to live solely by achieving my goals cuz I'll just be another undergraduate raking up my grades, another dancer with the focus to get it right, another human being on the rat race. I need to stop, think and breathe. Hug my friends, feed the poor cuz love doesn't give only to those who are able to give but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.

The Future

2009-12-03T07:13:00.003+08:00

Constrained by the four walls in my room, my mind wandered aimlessly beyond the darkness in my room. The immeasurable darkness stimulated me to think more in-depth about my future. Wondering about that always gives me a headache. I mean how am I to know what job would probably land on me right? That's why it's called the future. It's not called the FUTURE for nothing.

My mind loomed around aimlessly. A degree in bachelor of education set me to think what has the future installed for me aside from being a full-time educator? Journalism? That area sparked up some hopes for me since almost everyone seemed to agree that I'm brilliant in my writing. Sparked up, in past tense, cause the elective course is only offered in the first semester and for the first semester of my final year, I've to do my practical which means I don't really have a chance to prove myself that I'm a potential journalist. Thumbs down for moi. I have always wanted to write articles for CLEO. Guess now I have to put my dream to rest. Unless I am able to send in a few drafts to impress them that I'm all good for the job.

Or, I can be the 8TV's Quickie Host if they still have a vacancy after my graduation. I know I'm talented because I dance around openly with my bunch of crazy friends in my faculty. Talented, that's not the right word for it. It should be crazy and the best euphemism for this adjective is talented. Future employer won't hire people that put crazy on their resume. What am I thinking!!! I know I am good enough but still I with Krashen's affective filter hypothesis. Being with people who are on par with me or even better only make me nervous (affective filters are up) and thus affecting my performance. I'm a victim of my own fear. If only I learn how to channel this fear to something more productive. I can always threaten myself, "Li Chin, you're gonna look bad when everyone looks good...Do you even want that to happen?" And I have a bad threatening skill...

Or maybe I'll just be a teacher. Go to a school and teach. Give some tuition and get extra money. Do some charitable work by giving free tuition to those who need it. Afterall, that is what I have promised to my late father if I get to set my foot on any varsity.

##This post is not edited cuz it's my ranting...##

That Red Cheongsam

2009-11-29T08:24:00.002+08:00

Today, I donned myself in a beautiful, red cheongsam belonged to my mother when she was at my age. I chose to blog this not because it was my first time ever donning on a cheongsam. It was more than that-- something more valuable than the feeling of the expensive silk on my body. It was nonetheless the picture of my mom's physique when she was an adolescent. A realization that we share so much more than that dark brown hair and short eyelashes, but almost the same figure. Looking at myself at my own reflection, was like seeing my own mom when she was younger.

Undoubtedly, sometimes differences set us apart. Differences in thoughts are the most obvious one. When she drove down to Kuala Lumpur to fetch me and my loaded luggages, we argued a lot about which way to take in order to be on our journey back to the resort we were staying. Luckily, all those heated moment are always short-lived. Throughout my years in my high school, the essays about social problems among teenagers were compelled to write, made me realized now, the stupidity of some teenagers that are unable to see pass those emotional roller coaster they are having in their mind. If only they are able to see clearly how family are related more than just the genes we share, maybe news about teenagers running away from homes will not cloud the pages of the newspapers again. It takes time to realize this, like me taking time to realize that my mom and I share so much in common.

Lastly, I have to admit that, for once I am proud that I have inherited the small waist from my mom. That cheongsam most probably looked tight on some parts on my body because sometimes assets evolve and becomes better from generations to generations :)And looking at her now, is like looking how I'd most probably look like in years to come. Ahh...

Curls Cuz It's Sexy!

2009-11-26T14:09:00.004+08:00

The thing about human is that they are fickle minded. I am a great embodiment of this trait.

I have been wanting curls for my hair since I graduated from Form 6. Before the semester break, my wish was granted although it's a little late cuz I had been waiting for this change of hairstyle for 3 years. Hilary Duff looks great with either her brunette curls or her original blond curls, Piper Perabo in Coyote Ugly was ever sweet with her loose curls, I bet she's still sweet now and Olivia Wilde is stunning with loose curls too. Whoa, who am I kidding? They are celebrities. They always look great!!! While me? I know I can carry all kind of hairstyles as long as my hair is long and my fringe isn't too short. Above was the hairstyle after a few hours of my newly permed hair.

Last semester break, I'd been interviewing almost everyone about permed hair. How manageable is it? Will those products like hair mousse, gel, hair spray, etc strip away all the moisture making the hair dry? Do you like your hair straight or curly? So, this was how my hair looked like on the third day. While taking this picture, I was actually reminiscing back to what my former schoolmate, Thiam Hui told me about permed hair. She said her hair actually looked like crazy woman after she woke up from her blissful sleep. At that moment, contentment was all that I felt that my hair didn't actually turn out like what Thiam Hui had described. That was only on the third day though. 2 and a half day to be exact.

On Thursday evening, all hell broke loose. Nightmare crept in. I received a last minute message from my friend about the gathering at night. Every girl wants to look at their best when meeting up with their former schoolmates right? So, I wore the blouse that always looks good on me. Unfortunately, that didn't do the trick. Hair was the problem. I wet my hair hoping that the water would re-energize all the chemicals on my hair. Gosh, no matter how I twist, it was still omigod bad!!!

The next day, my loose curls reared its ugly head again. On the fifth day, I was so tired of my hair. I finally got the feeling of bad hair day. All these while, I inherited my father's hair gene-- straight and manageable. I regretted that I permed my hair, stripped my hair from its right for moisture. It was dry and brittle and limp! Lifeless...

After washing my hair, I took the hairstylist advice to blow dry my hair but then all my curls became frizzy. Again, I experienced some sort of ugly hairstyle. My mom even asked me, "Hey, didn't you comb your hair?" I answered, "Um...nope. I'm afraid my RM250 hair won't be curly afterthat. That salon is is PJ so I'll have to waste another RM44 if I were to take a bus to KL to get my hair fixed." The above picture was actually taken after I learnt how my hair should be treated.

My confident smile showed that I was actually satisfied with how my curls turn out. It was actually quite different from the first day but it was still better than those days I experienced bad hair days. It was indeed beautiful.

Now that I am satisfied with how it turned out to be, I am ever grateful that I permed my hair in Jaya One with a student price of RM250 with treatment and haircut. The whole procedure of hair perming was actually quite funny though. I actually forced myself not to laugh when my head looked as if it had been attacked by a big giant octopus. No offence to the hair salon.

What he did was actually set perm. Yes, it's a he. I was actually enjoying the 4 hours being at the salon with a male hairstylist playing with my hair :) He used the big curler and then attached it my hair to some sort of machine to heat my hair causing the protein structure (keratin i think, if my knowledge of Biology is still good) in my hair to change. And that's why my head was like being attacked by a black octopus. The tentacles I imagined was actually my strands of hair.

I went to Element (name of that hair salon) for this. Right now, I'll only put on mousse when I am going out for an outing or when I feel my hair needs it or otherwise my hair will be hard and dry. I'll settle for Schwarzkoph hair serum now. Healthier for my hair, happier for me :)

So, if my hair turns out different every time I wash my hair, it's great right? Yeah, definitely! A reassuring word from me.

Sculpt or Should I Say Kepping Scores...

2009-11-23T07:39:00.005+08:00

Like any other guys, I love looking at beautiful girls. The first thing that catches my attention will be their physique. If they are endowed with slender figure with beautiful sculpted arms and not protruding tummy, I'll hence direct my gaze to their face. I am a female but I normally do what guys always do except that I do not drool over a hottie but I keep scores with them. "She's pretty but ahh...too bad, she has bad skin...damn like me!!!" or "Wow, she has curves at the right place...gosh!!! she's better than me." or "I know she is pretty but her thighs are huge. I'm totally way better than her." so on and so forth.

When it comes to keeping scores, most of the girls I know have considerable expertise. So, I know whenever I walk out of my house, I am moving out from my own comfort zone where I am a victim of girls' prowling eyes, vulnerable to their sarcastic remarks. Sitting down here, doing what I love to do, is not that healthy. Every second I am risking myself with a ballooning tummy with compressed mark (yup, mind you...not stretch mark but compressed mark). I need get rid of my bulging tummy and tone my waist. 25" is the way to go!!! From this moment onwards, I'll train myself to do 50 times sit up every morning and every night.

My thighs, according to my roomie, it's becoming more like Beyonce's which is sexy but according to me when it comes to my height, it's not. Welcome to the world of ladies, where we play with Maths that is beyond numbers. When something expands in size, the height has to heightened, only that it can be labeled proportionate. The picture above is my thigh. Unfortunately, it's 20" already! I am not going to be extra ambitious. I am going to sculpt it to 19.5" with more leg massage and exercise.

OMG this is downright flabby! I understand that the bigger your boobs are, the bigger your arms will get. So mine is not proportionate at all. It's 10" now and by hook or by crook, I'll tone it down to 9.5".

Hey, I am not aneroxic but when it comes to fashion or beauty, I'm a vain for it. This post might be a sensitive issue for some girls out there but this is mainly about me. Therefore, Natalie TLC shall not be held responsible for any emotional upheaval from reading this post. My statement might be flawed but this is my blog, any statement that is deemed hurtful is perfectly unintentional.

Still, I am not going to cut down on what I eat because I enjoy food. This point itself proves that I am not having any eating disorder.

The Clock Was Menacingly Ticking

2009-11-22T07:05:00.005+08:00

Scrolling down to see the last time I've published my post made me realized that I've not been updating my blog for awhile. I even had the thoughts of putting a full stop to my days of blogging. I didn't do that... I think that was just me being a bit depressed (depressed is just too serious here) or should I say really stressed up over the workload back in campus. But the Kuantan gal is back in Kuantan-- the slower-paced city with plenty of time for me to rejuvenate and of course, BLOG!

A month ago I was actually racing against time. I decided to challenge myself by joining the Performance Bureau of Pesta Tanglung Universiti Malaya (Lantern Festival in University of Malaya)and I took up rhythmic gymnastics as my extra-curricular activity. So the list of things to do keep piling up till the point that it became the list of things I dread to do.

During the nights of September, when everyone was sitting right in front of their desks watching their favourite entertainment programmes or studying, I turned up for something more than a good sweat at dance practice, got scolded for quite a number of times for looking blur. It was really an excruciating experience where dancing turned out to be something I hate when it supposed to be something I love.

So why did it has to be so stressful? It was a performance ala High School Musical except that the songs are all in Chinese and did I mention that I don't read Chinese? In the silence of my room, when my roommates were sleeping blissfully, I woke up reading the translated lyrics (han yu pin yin) with earphones clung on my ears. I sang without deciphering the lyrics. Looking at the deadlines of the things I had yet to get my hands on, I felt suffocated and in extreme regret that for the hectic life I'd signed up. Watching the clock ticking menacingly drove me mad. Aside from the strenuous training, I was in-charge of the 3 choreographies for Rhythmic Gymnastics. I was in need for more and more cups of caffeine. The aromatic smell of my white coffee and the sensation it gave when it went down my throat calmed my nerves.

The list constantly grew at an alarming rate. Waves of assignments by different lecturers hit me like tsunami. I was worried whether I'd be drowned if I was hit by another wave of assignment. At the back of my head, I was thinking, "When will this ever end?" and yet I know by the early of November all the deadlines clouding my mind will be 'poof!' gone!

I am proud of myself that I manage to persevere till the end of it. Now that I managed to slow down my pace to breathe a breath of fresh air, I am risking myself with a ballooning tummy and a chubbier face. The next post I am going to write about will be me losing some weight although I know I am not fat. I do it merely for a better figure.

Pesta Tanglung Universiti Malaya

2009-10-11T19:08:00.005+08:00

Most of the time I have a barren mind when I have decided to write about something good and the same goes to this. Nevermind about that. Assignments can wait after I relieved my mind with this purposeful blog.

Most of us do not the get the chance to shine on stage. Reminiscing back to 2 months ago, I was just another one of the lonesome undergraduates looking for something to past my time. So, I decided to give Pesta Tanglung Universiti Malaya a try. It was an abrupt decision so instead of going to the interview first, I went to the audition on my own.

I was presented with a passport to a 2-month practice under 3 choreographers. Congratulations to me and my wishes were finally answered. When the undergraduates went back to their hometown, I had my time occupied with training camp. Nevertheless, it was a superb experience although most of us were down with joint pains and muscular aches the following day. We had our chance to bond, to snap those girlish, ugly, crazy and cute pictures which I am quite sure the memories will last in my mind even after my days in UM.

We spent hours to practice every day. The days seemed tougher with each passing hours. I was experiencing hellish moments. Her words were like bees stinging my eardrum till it penetrated by vulnerable self. I felt like crying when she kept on complaining that I looked blur, so on and so forth. Other dancers were not in a better condition that I did. Hooi Meng was forced to carry some dancers with smaller frame because of her physique (I mean she's tall, not fat yeah...), Ying Chow got her shoulder blade moved forward, all the dancers practically danced till their feet were numbed, till their sweat glands were out of sweat, till all the carbohydrates were being broken down to ATP. Yup, those were the days.

Me with my front leg pivot. A request from other dancers.

My jump requested by the choreographer.

At the backstage with PTUM'09 dancers. It was my first time wearing a chinese costume and we somehow looked like Chun Li the street fighter on that fateful day. BTW, the make up artist that helped me to apply the powder sucked. It was like me stealing her fiance, spouse or whatever you call it and she was hitting my face like no one was seeing. The worst part, she ruined my eyebrow or eyebrows... I am not sure which side is better cuz it's so damn freakin' ugly now.

This was the catching monster dance which we all made the last amendment one day before the performance. This is us being downstage with the audience. Scary, nerve-racking moment but I still looked blur.

The same dance. Adrenaline pumping...

I think this is the coolest picture of all. The light had an ghostly effect on our shadows. Who would have thought it would have such a brilliant effect?

PTUM was a success. It wasn't about the performance that made the days so memorable. It was the process of it. Who would have guessed we would shed our tears the moment we think the days we, being together are going to end? It was truly a bitter-sweet moment. Thank you so much to all the bureaus that have made this possible. Thank you so much to PTUM. I learnt so much-- To seize each moment, to manage my time, to control my emotions. It was a battel-field, a life-changing experience.

Baby Prosperous

2009-10-08T06:23:00.003+08:00

One of the best things that I am rewarded by God in life is this little dog who has colour up our life in every way that is possible. She touches our heart with her little paw in each breaking dawn, wags her tail to welcome us, kisses us with her furry mouth whenever she sees a chance, etc etc. It's always a very welcoming sight to see her.

It's insane how humans are up for materialistic items in this era to make them happy when all we need everyday is love and those little creatures whom we regard as our pets thrive on the generosity of love that we are ready to offer. Prosperous doesn't live on expensive dog biscuit like any other expensive dog breeds. She prefers whatever left-over food like the juicy bones that are full with our salivas and she thrives on our love. All she ever asked for is to be part of us. To sleep in the same room like what my bro and sis do, to sit in the car to experience the cool breeze from the window and most of all to share the same mother with the 3 of us. Mind you, she gets jealous whenever our mommy sits on the same sofa with us.

She's sick for 2 days. Since she's being such a babe to us, I am heading back to Kuantan after my Grandpa Bill's class. Some might regard as being insane but then I feel sad for them who doesn't know the value of life. Prosperous is not any kind of dog. She's our baby Prosperous and she's my little sister.

Charlie aka Rove Beetle

2009-09-19T00:57:00.007+08:00

My friends noticed two scratches on my skin last week but I did not give a damn about it because it looked like a normal scratches to me. After 3 days, it turned out to be skin dermatitis.

A junior asked me where did I get the scratches from. I told her I didn't recall I was scratched by anything or maybe because I was too tired to notice. You know, hours of practice had really taken a toll on me for these few weeks. She told me I might be bitten by Charlie. God knows what's Charlie!!! Charlie is not a person, it's an insect exactly like the picture above.

I went to the students' clinic in 12th college the next day and the doctor didn't even know what happened to my skin. So, she prescribed a 4-days medication for me. The pharmacist gave me Fucidin, a cream for me to get rid of the tiny little puss along the scratches; the smelly antibiotic and the viagra-like anti-viral drug.

Better beware of your surrounding. Charlie the Rove Beetle must have crawled onto my towel when I was taking bath. I googled the beetle out for more information and it stated there that its venom is 12 times more poisonous than a cobra's venom. Wow!!! No wonder my skin is such a turn off now.

Charlie can be found in the toilet cuz it's such a perverted insect! It likes the humidity and if you're staying close the forest or the paddy field, you might even find it staring at you on your wall. It's so tiny (1 cm) long that you won't even notice it's hiding under your clothes or your towel.

P.S. If you hate your friend, you can give him a Charlie :)

Responsibility

2009-09-15T06:56:00.004+08:00

It's pouring heavily outside and the breath of wind keeps swaying the trees causing the leaves to slap against one another. It's funny how the weather reflect what I am feeling now. Emotions are running high, problems keep repeating itself in my mind and I feel like shaking up someone around me to make them understand the little predicaments that they thought I'm facing but still, I can't slap them because those are the little respect that I reserve for my friends.

My heart feels heavy. My eyes feel like welling up tears. I plead y'all to hear because I can't be doing this all alone. I feel like shouting because nobody can hear me. I yearn for my ranting session because there's when I can really pour my heart out because the way I see it, I'm all doomed. The only road that I see is leading down to my own graveyard.

Expectations are hard to meet especially in PTUM where everyone is expected to be fast enough to catch what the choreographer is trying to convey with a maximum of 2 times demonstration. Unfortunately, I'm slow. The female choreographer warned me for 4 times and almost scolded me during my last dancing practice with her. Maybe I'm nothing, no talent, no good looks to make everyone around me like me but just a blur face... Who am I to blame? My father's sperm? My mom's ovum? Can I even blame my genes? I don't know who to blame cuz there's no one to blame and that's the reason for me not to well up my tears because now all I am having now is my pride.

The same goes to the extra-curricular activities that I am taking for the sake of my credit hours. Having experience in Rhythmic Gymnastic, I'm given a task by the lecturer to choreograph all the dance for a whole 11 minutes. The things that I think are easy, are hard for them and therefore, I don't even know what I am doing anymore. I blame myself for that. Most of all, I blame myself for being to enthusiastic about that at the beginning of this semester. Now, all I want is to be off the hook, to shake off the responsibility.

Every word that Dr.Fernandez enunciated from her own mouth happened to be true. An undergraduate has no social life. All that is meant for life is about task, responsibilities and commitment towards your assignments, lectures, exams and other activities that will make your resume appeals to your prospective employer.

Recycled Post

2009-08-24T06:28:00.003+08:00

I would like to thank my twin sister, Arulselvi for reminding me of the essay to be submitted today. Then, I would like to thank Anna for her heroic rescue in suggesting ways for me to copy an essay. Last but not least, my father for presenting me an essay to be handed in a day after his birthday.

I'm sorry Pn. Jothi for plagiarizing my own blog to come up with this simple-yet-hard-to-do essay.

SOMEONE IDEAL THAT INFLUENCED MY CAREER AS A FUTURE TEACHER

It is the time of the year again where we will light up the candles on the cake to celebrate my father's birthday. My father is fifty-four years old but nothing reminds him of his old age, not even his hair.

My father used to call me a big devilish head because of my intense habit to make both my sister and brother cried. Fortunately, that habit was brought to a halt with my loss of innocence but reminiscing about my teenage days made me missed being a big bully, launching rubber wars with my siblings. Back then, I threw erasers until they hit their foreheads. They retaliated back by teaming up and stone me with all the erasers they had. When they lose, they used the most powerful weapon of all which is no other than their annoying cries that made my father warned me to be what a 'big sister' supposed to be.

Without my father, I would not be here in University of Malaya, studying the hardest text ever which is the Shakespearean play. I used to be a very weak student. I hid my exam papers occasionally from my mom when they were marked with an ugly B or C because she was like the fiery monster scolding me from top to toe, comparing me with her colleagues' children. My father, on the other hand, would always be there to take my report card, strategize a way for me to improve by leaps and bounds. He always tell me, "Ah Chin, one step at a time. Now you must catch up with Chee Ee Van and work your way up okay?"

Sometimes the things you learnt when you were little are put into practice until this fateful day. My father is the epitome of an ideal teacher who had taught me about the ways of life. Being who I am today is definitely nothing to be proud of because I am not making people awed with a white uniform. I will be a teacher clad in what everyone would wear, humble enough in my ways to make students come to me so that I am able to teach them not only English but also share with them the ways of life like what my father has taught me.

Happy Birthday, Papa!!!

2009-08-22T06:45:00.003+08:00

This post is specially dedicated to my very handsome, loving, caring and heroic father.

I love you so much and these words with 26 alphabets and a few syllables aren't enough to wrap up what I feel in my heart. I'm having stuffy nose but no teary eyes this time around when write this to you. Are you by my side when I type this? You'd probably be laughing out loud seeing me typing, deleting a whole line of sentence, retyping the same sentence again. This is specially for you, papa.

.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O.....O...

It's the time of the year again where we would light up the candles on the cake to celebrate my father's birthday. My father is 54 years old today but nothing reminds him of old age, not even his hair. He is endowed with jet-black hair, without 1 strand of grey hair when I last saw him.

My father calls me big devil head cuz of my intense habit to make both my sister and brother cry. I don't do that now but I miss the occasion when I was being a big bully carrying out rubber (erasers) war with my siblings. Back then, I threw erasers until it hit their foreheads, they retaliated by teaming up and stoned me with their 2 pencil cases of erasers. When they lose, they used the most powerful weapon of all-- their cries that made my father warned me to be what a 'big sister' supposed to be.

Without my father, I would not be here in UM, taking up TESL, studying the hardest text and that is none other than Shakespeare. I used to be a very weak student and I occasionally hid my exam papers from my mom when I got a B or a C cuz my mom was like the fiery monster scolding me from top to toe, comparing me with whatshisname or whatshername and pinch me on my ear or my waist. My father on the other hand, would always be there to take my report card, strategize a way to work my way up. He always tell me, "Ah b, 1 step at a time. Now you must catch up with Chee Ee Van and work your way up, okay?" Voila, I am in UM while Ee Van is somewhere in Kuantan I think.

We have been through so much. I take pride that you're my father. I look up to you for moulding me to be what I am today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAPA! I'm sorry that I can't be with mommy, may may and didi to celebrate your birthday this year.

I can still remember your joke. You told me when you grow old, you will hold my hand, walk on the street and tell people around you that you have a young girlfriend. I will be in Jaya One today to buy you a cake. You can tell your friends that is your young girlfriend today because that is what birthday boy gets. They get their wishes come true :) Yeah, you're a birthday boy cuz you're always young at heart :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN and you're 54.

A Challenge for Myself

2009-08-08T13:51:00.003+08:00

The trip to Genting Highland was undoubtedly a compensation for my tiresome days in campus. I got to breathe many breaths of clean, cooling, invigorating air, I played rounds of stuffs that children will play like Merry-Go-Round, the jet that went round and round, I experienced the thrill of Space Shot and all these were made possible with around RM100.

Enough with the elaboration already and now I am being pulled down to Earth with the gravity of money crisis. I am ashamed to say this but I only have Rm100 in my bank account and I am even more ashamed to ask money from my mom.

I hereby challenge myself to use my RM100 wisely to survive for 10 days.

I am going to fill up my stomach with instant mee at least for 1 meal a day.
I am going out only for lectures, meals and college activities.
I am going to set aside RM25 for the fee of our Chinese Community membership.
I am going to set aside RM15 for Pesta Tanglung UM's T-shirt.
I am going to set aside RM20 for the dance troupe camp.

I seriously don't know how I am going to survive these 10 days with RM40 for my meals. I shouldn't have gone to Genting in the first place. I'm in deep regret and in a deep shit!

I love me, myself and I

2009-08-05T17:34:00.003+08:00

I am not a Peeping-Jane but I really love to stare at guys secretly because some of them are worth my attention. This doesn't make me a paedophile or a nymphomaniac because as the matter of fact we all gaze. Guys love gazing at beautiful girls with slender body and girls love to gaze at guys with well-toned body. According to the theory of objectification,the person we are gazing at is objectified whose sole value is to be enjoyed or to be possessed by the voyeur but I am not a voyeur. I am just s new fan of the gaze theory.

If I see a cute guy somewhere in the campus, I look at him then happily tell my friend who is with me that he is cute and that is the end to it. I don't leave my friends to follow the cute guy around the campus to stalk him so that I can have a longer moment to stare at him. In fact, I think I stare at myself in the mirror more than I look at any other guys.

I think I love to objectified myself. I think I myself is the object of my own pleasure and enjoyment. I am a voyeur to my own image because I would go to the bathroom in the wee hours, say 6am to gaze at myself from top to toe until I am completely mesmerized with my own look. I tend to stare at myself for 5 minutes long in the bathroom observing the brownish colour of my hair, my eyebrow, my eyes, my own posture, waist and everything. I know I am obsess with myself.

I think I am beautiful until the haze hit Petaling Jaya. With the hazardous air I am breathing in, the dust that stick onto my face whenever I walk out from my room, the 1 litre of water I am drinking and the food that I am taking are seriously taking a toll on my skin.

I am having breakouts but I can't upload the picture here because of the defective bluetooth I am having in my lappy.

So, I uploaded the picture of me when I was in my 1st year in University of Malaya.

I have a bad skin complexion yeah? But who cares, I am still good-looking!

Ne-Yo's 'So Sick'

2009-07-30T16:25:00.004+08:00

Ne-Yo's song 'So Sick' stuck on my head the whole day and the catchy chorus made my roommate sang it with me the whole day up until now. It didn't stop there. It poisoned Alicia's mind too.

This is how I let my creative juice flow in a good way. I corrupt the whole lyric :)

Please sing it with me at least for once!!!

Gotta hide the cell phone that I have,
Cause it's mocking me,
It just keep reminding me,
All the things we do.
And it's so tempting,
To call you on the phone,
Cuz it'll make me hear your voice evermore.

(It's ridiculous)
It's been weeks since I've spoken to you.
(You ain't calling back)
Dunno why I'm feeling this, No...
(But enough, is enough)
No more crying with tissue around
I don't wanna be the one
Only wanting you.

I am so sick of love song,
So sick of you,
So tired of thinking,
Why ain't you here,
I'm so sick of love songs,
So sad and low,
Why can't I brush off the thoughts of you?

Gotta fix the broken heart that I have,
That's marked the day you left,
Because since there's no more you,
There'll always be a tomorrow,
I'll not think twice of you,
I'm moving on,
And I not be reminded you chucking me.

That's the reason I'm so sick of love song,
So sick of you,
So tired of thinking,
Why ain't you here,
I'm so sick of love songs,
So sad and low,
Why can't I brush off the thoughts of you?

So what you left?
So what you left?
Stupid dumb guy
Don't you beg me to take you back.
Or calling me again.
I'm letting go.
I'm so done with you now.

Cuz I am so sick of love song,
So sick of you,
So tired of thinking,
Why ain't you here,
I'm so sick of love songs,
So sad and low,
Why can't I brush off the thoughts of you?
Why can't I brush off the thoughts of you?

I am so sick of love song,
So sick of you,
So tired of thinking,
Why ain't you here,
I'm so sick of love songs,
So sad and low,
I can now brush off the thoughts of you!

I am so sick of love song,
So sick of you,
So tired of thinking,
Why ain't you here,
I'm so sick of love songs,
So sad and low,
Why can't I brush off the thoughts of you?
I can now brush off the thoughts of you.
I can now brush off the thoughts of you!!!

Yay, I love gals' power!!! I am SO SICK with myself singing the song now :(

Fucking Hate Dancing!

2009-07-27T22:33:00.002+08:00

I went for the audition for PTUM. When I got back from the energy-draining audition, I thought I'd totally nailed it. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the opposite. My juniors got it while I got no reply from them.

This made me question myself for the whole day. Who am I to choreograph and lead a dance troupe when I myself is not even qualified for a bigger event in UM. What am I doing all these while, choreographing when I don't even have the talent? I feel so shameful, so disappointed that I actually look up and appreciate every little things I did for my residential college.

Arul asked me to snap the thoughts out from my mind. How could I when it questions what I am trying to achieve all these while? What's my talent? Do I even have a talent for dancing or was it just passion?

Dancing is my life, it is just how I express myself...

And I so fucking hate dancing right now!!!

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Love and Hate

2009-07-25T20:30:00.003+08:00

I am glad that I am finally in tuned with what this semester has to offer.

Wow, it's unbelievable I almost took 1 month to be in touch with everything from the tip to the bottom and from the bottom to the tip, from the toilet to my room, from my room to the campus, so on and so forth. Yup, I am babbling and because of my constant babbling and weird behaviour in my room, my roommate, Mei Shu left (sob, sob). Well, it seems like the college administrator is having problem with only two people in a room so they presented us with another roomie, Helin. I think that's her name because I'm no good when it comes to remembering names. Better take this as an official opportunity to welcome her.

HEY, HELIN WELCOME TO OUR ROOM! SINCE YOU'RE PART OF THE GROUP NOW, YOU'RE REQUIRED TO SIGN THIS DOCUMENT SAYING THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SNORE, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE A DIRTY ROOMIE AND MOST OF ALL YOU'RE GOING TO BE GOOD TO ME AND BE BAD TO PRISCILLA. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh~~ Just kidding :P

Ah, I just love being back here with everyone eventhough I am not really a social animal. Every semester you are required to meet different lecturers with different expectations and this semester itself I have at least 3 lecturers that keep me on guard. The constant rush to class, the adrenaline pumping questions posted by most of my lecturers, the 1st and 2nd wave of assignments and the constant running here and there have been a good stimulant for these 3 weeks.

Reality checks:
1) Life in university or college is about freedom.
Yup, it certainly is. You can stay in this university for up to 6 years and if you aren't gonna graduate then you ain't gonna graduate. Take responsible for everything- ur grades, ur attendance, etc etc.

2) Your momma not gonna nag around for you to do housework.
As much as I hate doing housework, but if you don't do the cleaning on weekend, the whole residential college is going to know that you're wearing your unwashed undies, you soak your clothing in the toilet until it becomes wormy, etc etc.

3)Only cool people exist in universities.
University is just like school. You're going to get a paper qualification for being a nerd, pretty, awesome if you take life in university a bit seriously.

and the list goes on and on...

What I hate about university is that people tend to be judgmental. You went out with whathisname or whathername and you're going to get people talking, teasing and stereotyping you. You take TESL and people expect you to speak like Caucasian and become their walking and talking dictionary. When you are into literature and stuffs people assume you knowing nuts about some basic medication stuffs like taking too much of paracetamol will eventually cause renal failure. Be glad that I don't bite back, you stereotypical jerks!!!

I was also frustrated with people taking my work for their own credit. For instance, I participated in an event and was supposed to get a certificate for it but someone just took away what I deserved and wrote their freakin' name on it.

I was disappointed with the residents on my floor. Look, I can understand that the monkeys might mess up the place pretty much everyday but I can't understand why grown-ups can leave their dirty panties in the bathroom, chocolate stains from the anus at the side of the toilet bowl. How can you aim to be here in this prestigious varsity when you can't aim right!!! Get what I mean??? Okay, I'm done...

Throw away your comfort thoughts that university life is just about honeymoon years and late night partying because it is not! It's a place to grow, to prepare yourself for the world out there.

Embracing The New

2009-07-11T07:17:00.002+08:00

Hi, this is Li Chin reporting from one of the most renowned college in University of Malaya. Loyal readers of mine, forgive me for my disappearing act. I'm feeling a real shift in my life eventhough I have just survived the first week of my new semester. I have been wanting to blog again these few days but the internet connection here and the 1st wave of assignments I got from my lecturers just suck the energy out of my body. This post is going to be about me rambling about my new semester here.

I hope I have a camera here with me to snap the pinkish majestic sky in the evening, the beautiful KL city lighting up at night and so on. Yup, to be able to view what nature and KL have to offer requires me to stay high up on the building. I'm the wannabe Rapunzel living on the forth floor near the juggle where those friendly and nosy residents with tail from the green area would like to pay many visits. My room heats up like everyone else's room in the evening but it cools of quickly because high altitude place is always cooling. Aside from the surprise visit from the monkeys and the staircase I have to climb in order to reach my room, I have nothing to complain about.

As a TESLian, I have always wished that I can have an English speaking roommate to practice my speaking, to create an environment that would help me in the two areas of English- listening and speaking. This semester, I have May Shu or Mei Shu (from the business faculty) and Priscilla, my own coursemate as my fellow roommates. I have been thinking that wishes do come true but sometimes because God is too busy, our wishes might take quite some time to come true.

While I am trying to make this post sound as interesting as possible, my stomach is calling out for food. Unfortunately for us, our residential college chose not to provide any food for its residents anymore. The only restaurants that are available in walking distance are our own mamak stalls which provides us with non-lip-smacking food, the KFC, and the food stall in Mahsa College. College is charging us RM900+ for the whole semester and the food ain't that cheap in any of the premises. With my own calculation, I'll surely burn a hole in my wallet in August.

I'll stop talking about college and now I'll elaborate on my life in campus.

I am taking 19 credit hours this semester. I made a lecturer speechless in my first week to light up the class in a funny way. I think it's karma cuz I get another lecturer making the whole class speechless by using his own tactics by telling us his rigid way of marking and the waves of assignments we'll all anticipate each week. To make things bearable, we have a lecturer that is quite encouraging in Action Research and a lecturer that look up to me in helping her with the choreography in Rhythmic Gymnastic. Last but not least, we have a lecturer that will help us in our proficiencies by hook or by crook. These lecturers that I mentioned, I have never been taught by them.

Moving on to the familiar ones are Mr. Templer that has found his way to make good jokes this semester and Miss Charity, our tutor that holds ransom for the movie Titus Andronicus until we've all finished reading the original text of the play.

I will have to stop with the rambling for now. I have my 1st wave of assignment to drown my lovely weekend.

I can visualize that on the Monday itself, I'll be on the run with Arul to the libraries, the bookstore and so on just to get our hands on some limited edition books. I'm being sarcastic here if y'all are not aware.

I can even imagine the look on Pn.Jothi's face the minute she get to my essay about addiction. I am not writing about drugs, alcohol or nicotine addiction but love addiction. Wish me luck on that.

Everything is new about this semester. It really takes a lot of courage for me to embrace them because I am a girl about the same old routine. However, there's a lot of excitement about new stuffs and that the unfamiliar ground always turbo-charged me with anticipation for more adventures and for a brand new day.

Over A Cheescake

2009-06-25T10:26:00.003+08:00

With 5 of them serving for their Industrial Training, 1 of them working in an audit firm and 2 of them having lotsa fun with humans' health in Russia, the lazy ones are here to laze around in Kuantan to make the most out of our holiday as the compensation for our pathetic and yet hectic campus lives. We had our rows of gathering in a week because of Jin Hong's short-lived semester break and this was the result-- baking cheese cake in Jin Hong's house. Yup, Li Chin is learning the ropes in the kitchen!!!

Following the instructions in the recipe book, I was given the task to beat egg I think. I can't remember cuz it was weeks ago and I am blogging about it now because blogging is better than cleaning the toilet right? Yup, cheese cake and toilet, what a good comparison. The girl with her beaming smile was Jin Hong. I remembered that girl. She made me cried like a kid when I was in Form One cuz I just couldn't help her with the Merdeka drawing. What a little monster!!! It was a sweet memory though.

The picture above with our enchanting smiles was me and Yong Feng. I know grammatically I should say Yong Feng and I but me and Yong Feng sounds better, does it or does it not? Nevermind. We were just really happy cause we were almost done with our cheese cake!!! That girl has a really prosperous life I heard. Never good in cooking, never good in baking but she's learning her ropes like me during this long break.

Under that roof, there were another 2 girls but their photos were not uploaded in this post because I was just too lazy to upload it. Thiam Hui was somewhere in Jin Hong's house, washing the dishes. I was washing the oily stuffs too and Mun Pan was upstairs with her Restaurant City.

After 40 minutes, our cake was finally out from the oven, and shortly slices of them were in our stomach. It was a really delicious cake although it was our first attempt in making it.

This picture was a turn off. Yong Feng uploaded it on Facebook and the rest was history...

I am glad that this holidays really rekindled my bond with them. Hope, I will no longer put up a disappearing act once my new semester begin.

Boyfriend

2009-06-20T16:19:00.002+08:00

Likeness or love is a kind of drug. It just leaves people wanting more and more despite the heartache it may bring. It is hard to imagine how far people can go for love. I'm loveless and therefore I can't go far. Don't say friends and family are loving me because I know I should feel blessed to have that love. But, that is not what I want. I want a love from a guy. I want a boyfriend. Yeah, laugh at me.

I don't feel that I want that in every single moment of my life. It's just when I feel boring or when I see couples walking across me that I just feel me wanting to have a boyfriend. Worst of all, I will most likely start to compare me with some other girls who are no-so-attractive but yet they have a boyfriend. How did they do it? How do they keep their boy despite of the flaws that seem to be quite obvious to me?

Forgive for me being so overly desperate and by so openly stating them out here. It's better to write here than to tell a friend, "Oh, I feel so hopeless because I don't have a boyfriend and I think I won't have one anytime soon cuz I think I am going to become a spinster!!!" And when I write it here, it seems like everyone will read it!!!

I think I just like the word boyfriend. Maybe I am tired of imagining my pillow as the shoulder of my boyfriend. Maybe I want a real shoulder to lean on rather than just my pillow! Maybe I want someone to tell me just how attractive I look when I dress up for something. Most of all, maybe I just want a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean and a whisper of reassuring love when this kind of mood swings hit me. Yup, my period is coming I think. It's the hormones that make me feel that way.

What is love? Addiction? Why everyone wants it? Why some people get it and some people don't? How do they maintain once they have it? Where's mine?

Counting Down The Days

2009-06-18T09:34:00.002+08:00

How likely do you wake up, look at the clear blue sky, enjoy your mornings over a cup coffee and say you are not going to waste your particular day by doing nothing but your are doing just that?

Well, time flies. Another 17 days I'll be back to that hustle and bustle city, going to classes by waking up at the wee hours, and my schedule will be screaming jam packed!!!

There are things that I should start doing before I get back to KL. Here is my inventory of things that I should probably be doing now.
1) Clean the whole house so that mommy won't feel to tired when I get back to KL.
2) Buy a cake from Secret Recipe to celebrate Father's Day, my mom's belated birthday and my good GPA.
3) Teach my sis Maths.
4) Renew my mom's road tax.
5) Read one of the Shakespeare's plays.
6) Gather with my friends for a few times before we head on separate ways.
and the list goes on and on...

The next post will be about the things I did in Kuantan :)

Hairstyles 101

2009-06-02T18:21:00.003+08:00

This semester break is just great! Met up with my friends a couple of times, bond with them over our own cheese cake and some late-night movies. While everyone is complaining that Thiam Hui's hairstyle changes once she moves on from one guy to another, I gotta admit that her new hairstyle is great minus that remark from Chin Eng. Curls, they always make you look a bit sexier. However, I think I am stuck with the same hairstyle from my previous semester. Well, I can't seem to persuade my mom to permit me to perm my hair into loose curls. But, I don't wanna look with the same hair up-do 24/7.

I can tie my hair into a high ponytail or a loose one depending on my mood. Hmmm, I think I am going to the salon this week to style my bangs. Great look and great mood come from great hair. If you have a bad hair day, you'll have the tendency to feel blue.

A bun is nice too not to mention it helps you to look more professional. After a day of hard work in the campus, you'll have a new hair up-do at the end of the day when you finally have the time to let your hair down. You'll have sexy curls!!!

If you're running out of time to style your hair, you can always accessories with a hairband. This hairband that I got from Diva makes people comment that I am like a Greek Goddess :p It's a good thing I guess.

I certainly love this picture! The amount of sunlight makes me look fairer in this photo. I just pleat my hair to the side. It looks simple yet beautiful right? Please say that you agree with me :)

I saw this hair up-do on the telly. It's not hard at all and it's comfortable to wear at any time of the day. Just twist your hair and clip it up with a pin. Wear a hairband which looks like a scarf and Voila!!!

I'll come up with more hairstyles once I have the time. See you next time with more cam-whoring sessions.

My English seems to go down the drain this semester break. I need to do something. The English that I am using now is like a primary school kid's English :( Awww, pathetic!!!

2009-05-25T08:00:00.002+08:00

With a number of outings with friends and the late-night sleep, I think my skin deserves some pampering. Quite recently, I have been told by my bunch of former schoolmates that my complexion is getting better and I take pride in that. So, this blog is about Li Chin's beauty regime. It's really simple and it will only take you about 20-25 minutes once you make up your mind to do it.

1st and foremost, you'll have to tie up your hair that is itching your face. If you have a fringe like me, you'll have to clip it up cuz you don't want your hair to mess up with all the products you put on your face and what's more introducing a number of bacterias on your skin.

All you need is a room with a mirror and plenty of clean, running water and I would suggest you to be in a bathroom, a toilet or whatever you call it. You will also need your make-up remover, your cleanser, a toothbrush, your toner and your moisturizer or your pimple gel.

If you wish to do a mask, and you're running low on cash, I will suggest you to use two slices of tomatoes cuz tomato mask is the easiest mask to make that I have come upon so far. You can also make your own banana mask, yogurt mask and so on. Besides all these, you'll also need a clean towel and one piece of cotton wool.

Press a size of 20 cents make-up remover on the palm of your hand. Rub it evenly onto your face. Give your face a gentle massage. You'll need to use your middle finger and your ring finger to do this. From the middle of your chin, you'll massage it in a circular motion right to the end of your jaw and induce a certain pressure when you stop at the end of your jaw. I think I'll not elaborate much on this here. Maybe I will have it written out in my next post.

Afterthat, wash your face and use a cleanser to cleanse your face. Do not wash it first.

Exfoliate dead skin and eliminate blackheads with your toothbrush (soft bristles). Then, brush your face really gently in a circular motion. Be gentle okay. I do this once a week and I must say this really works well in getting rid of my blackheads.

Wash your face and make sure it is clean. Now, take one slice of that tomato on the plate, put in on your face and just simply rub it on your face. Don't try to do this on the eye part. It will surely irritate your eyes. If you are greedy like me, you can do the same thing all over your face with the second slice. Then, leave it for 10 to 15 minutes.

Wash your face. Towel dry. Next, use the cotton wool, put some toner on it and tone it on your face.

Last but not least, put on your moisturizer, your pimple gel and voila you're done.

If you have a sensitive face, don't try this okay? I don't want to be held responsible about anything that goes wrong. Go and waste some money on some good and reliable beauty products. If you have problematic skin, talk to your dermatologist and he or she will tell you what works for you.

2009-05-23T19:46:00.004+08:00

Thanks Rheitha for tagging me!!! And I'll try to answer this in Bahasa Malaysia :)

1. Apakah hubungan awak dengan dia (insan yang menge-TAG anda?)
Rheita Desmond merupakan kawanku yang comel dari Fakulti Pendidikan, Kursus TESL. Aku suka memanggil dia StingRayta. Aku tahu Bahasa Malaysia saya dah karat, janganlah ketawa ya!!!

2. 5 impressions terhadap si dia..
- Comel hingga aku nak sangat mencubit-cubit pipi dia!!! Tapi dia tak tahu! Hahaha :P
- Bahasa Inggeris dia bagus. Writing bagus, Comprehension bagus, Semua bagus!
- Kerjanya sangat kemas??? Tidy???
- Senyum Sokmo!
- Sangat suka menolong orang!!!

3. Perkara yang paling memorable dia pernah lakukan kat awak?
Mengizinkan saya memanggil dia sebagai StingRayta! Dia tag saya sebab saya suruh dia tag. Tak tahu malu betul!

4. Perkara paling memorable dia cakap kat awak?
Hmmm... mungkin saya akan jawab soalan ni lain kali sebab benda ini tak terlintas pun dalam fikiran saya. Oh, nanti, nanti!!! Dia kata dia nak jadi saya punya pengikut!!!

5. Kalau dia kekasih awak, awak akan?
Benci diri saya!!! Sebab saya dah tak tahu apa jadi ngan saya!!!

6. Kalau dia jadi musuh anda, anda akan?
Dia takkan jadi musuh saya lah!!!

7. Kalau dia kekasih anda, dia perlu improve dlm...?
Tak perlu improve sebab dia sudah sempurna!

8. kalau dia jadi musuh anda mungkin kerana...?
Bahasa Inggeris dia bagus dan no matter how hardworking I am, I still cannot beat her!

9. Overall impression tentang dia?
Sempurna!

10. The most desirable thing to do with her/him?
Tak pernah lagi dalam satu kumpulan buat assignment. Mungkin next sem nak cuba ngan dia pulak.

11. Apakah anda rasa tentang pandangan orang terhadap anda?
Pendiam???

12. The character of you for yourself...
Aku ni tak suka senyum dan orang ingat saya ni garang. Chiz!!

13. on the contrary, the character you hate about yourself...
Tamak. Nak ini dan itu tapi tak berkemampuan. Sedihnya :(

14. The ideal person you want to be with
Keluarga saya.

15. For people who like you, tell something to them...
Continue to like me cuz I love y'all more with each passing day :P

1. Put this badge (above) in your awesome blog.

2. Award this badge to 10 bloggers whom you think are inspirational and friendly.

3. Make sure you put the 'recipients' names here, along with their links.

4. Let them know about this.

Oleh itu, saya menge-TAG anda di bawah ini..
1) Arulselvi
2) Anna Louis Tan Ling Ling
3) Alan
4) Zhong Wen
5) Fish
6) Soo Ching
7) William
8) Poay Hoon
9) Fengy
10)Kee Aun

Ngam-ngam sepuluh!!! Yay!!! Boleh diterbitkan sudah :)

A Quest

2009-05-07T07:07:00.002+08:00

From the moment, I walked out from that place, I know a new chapter of my life has begun. It seems that I get the closure that I am looking for and now I am finding my old self.

I think I won't be blogging for awhile. I am on the quest of finding back myself. Bye.

Papa...You're The Best.

2009-05-04T13:28:00.002+08:00

Stopped by at KL Sentral today to get a ticket to Times Square. Saw a boy, holding his father's hand, going to somewhere with his parents. He's happy... He's like my brother. This reminds me of my father.

I miss him so much. So much so when I type this, tears keep flowing down from my eyes. Ah, dun cry Li Chin, roommate gonna be back soon... Don't cry.

Others can simply go back and see their family. Where can I go to see my father once again? Oh, I miss him so much. Sometimes, when I am walking alone, I would stretch out my hands just to feel the wind. Feeling as if it's my father who's grasping my hand.

I love you so much father. I know 10th May is your anniversary with mommy. I bought something for her on behalf of you.

I miss you papa. Somehow, it isn't complete without you around. I love you. Really do.

Post-Exam

2009-05-02T19:04:00.003+08:00

I had my last paper today. It was none other than the most difficult paper of the semester, Drama 1. I thought I am going to score an A- for that paper but when I was reading the first question from the exam paper, it occured to me that I was clueless about it. I whispered to Fish Kee that my result is going to go down the drain and I looked to my left hand side and gave Gui Chan a blank look. Nevertheless, it ain't gonna be as pathetic as it seemed. If Li Chin can't do it, half of the class is going to be flushed down the toilet bowl with me! Am I being confident or cocky here? Explain to me. I don't seem to be able to differentiate between the two.

Age is catching up sooner than we thought. I couldn't remember what I did after my exam during my first year. I am getting symptoms of Alzheimer disease at the age of 22! I remembered how I spent my time at the Cheras Pasar Malam last semester with Anna and Alan and it felt so different this year. Sometimes when you flashback your thoughts on these moments you'll notice how people have changed. I look forward to my semester break but then I hate it when I get back here, people are being rather different. So, this semester, I spent my after-exam hour with Amy, Chia Sing, Jia Wei, Dayang, Poay Hoon and Me Yi. We walked around in MidValley and spent our time having pizzas.

Didn't enjoy my time with them to the max cuz I need to rush back to my room to pack my stuffs. It's a bless to have an uncle to be in KL so I can just throw all my things at his house but it's bad cuz I will not have my pillow, comforter and my Tai Ong Pong to hug...

After the rush hour, here I am looking for some stuffs to do. I have 1 pail of clothing to wash, the room to clean, little little things to pack back to Kuantan. Now, I have so much time to think and plan on the things to do during my semester break. I'm thinking about it over a cup of coffee. I think I am not going to sleep tonight. I might as well enjoy the night in college.

I love y'all my friends. Don't change too much during the break, okay? I scared I wouldn't be able to catch up. Just stay lovable!!!

Going Nuts

2009-05-01T17:35:00.002+08:00

Have you ever experienced a feeling like mine? Where your body doesn't seem to be yours anymore? Things and lines from the book you memorized keep swimming in your mind causing you to be drowsy and uneasy? You can't rest yourself because you mind won't let you. Whenever you close your eyes, the lines you've memorized keep haunting you on the surface of your eyeballs eventhough you have shut your eyes? Do you feel what I feel?

I am in the midst of memorizing the lines from Shakespeare's King Lear to quote it in my paper tomorrow.I bet after I memorized all my lines I would be too tired to even memorize the lines from The Importance of Being Ernest.

My mind seems to be writing pages of essay on its on, unable to stop. It keeps on repeating:-
Sir, I love you more than word can wield the matter,
Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty... blah blah blah

Know what I mean? I think I am going nuts, I might as well eat peanuts and get nuts for my exam... Rhymes cuz I am so into Shakespeare's now!!! Grrr...

I think I am a nerd. Or maybe I am an actor trying to memorize lines that different actors ought to remember.

Clarity

2009-04-29T14:42:00.002+08:00

You don't need to try hard to understand me. I spill most of my thoughts in my blog so much so that people are able to detect my flaws and weaknesses easily to use them against me.

I have been living in my own little world with the rules I forced myself to follow. I set myself with expectations, the do's and don'ts that I should follow in dealing with some of my problems. Sometimes I feel like I am going to break. I'm tired of all my convictions and my lies.

Just now, in the midst of the rain, I found some clarity towards my gloomy, dark and twisty soul. It seems like unresolved issues in my life are not as confusing as they once were and I think I am finally getting a grip on what I want. Or maybe at least I know the things I don't want.

Somehow, things like this scares me. I don't know how long such peacefulness will last. Life seems to be poking joke on us.

Last few days, when I was reading the play "A Streetcar Named Desire," I felt like I was Blanche Dubois living and thriving on past issues. The only difference was, people felt pitiful for Tennessee Williams' character but I made myself looked pitiful for myself. What a shame...

Hopefully this clarity would not be hazed by my emotional upheaval anytime soon.

Nothing Profound

2009-04-26T09:19:00.003+08:00

Something is bothering me. It keeps bugging me when I am reading a few lines from my notes. I shake the thought off for awhile and it keeps coming back till the point that it haunts me in my dream. My shoulders are tensed!!! How I wish someone could just come up to me and offer me a 5-minute massage :)

It's Sunday and Sundays are supposed to be great. But here I am feeling tired all the way from top to toe. I am determined to change my day though. So, I began my day with a cup of coffee, tied my hair like a messy China doll and went down to the hall to get myself breakfast. To hell with what people will say about my messy Malaysian China doll look!!! It's exam week, so people will tend to ease their tension by doing something crazy.

I haven't been shaping my eyebrows for 3 weeks and it's growing like weeds. Seems like personal grooming hasn't been part of my life for this few weeks cuz I am lazy or am I just too hardworking to be hooked on Facebook? I don't know. Maybe I'll groom myself today by getting rid of those cacti from my legs, I'll shape my eyebrows, I'll go to Rheita's room and borrow that headphone so I'll get to watch Dr.Faustus and The Importance of Being Earnest before my exam on 2/5/09. If I am extra hardworking, maybe I'll finish finding the answer for the 1st and 2nd questions for Teaching Drama.

I am setting my expectations low.

And this one is just another random post cuz I just feel like updating. Yeah, it's nothing profound.

Unusual Encounter In The Morning

2009-04-21T13:57:00.006+08:00

I have heard a wonderful story from someone close. The fact that people are tolerant towards quite a number of people having disgraceful attitude moves me to change my personal outlook on life. It's not too late for me to realize God's creation serves quite a number of purpose. Rude people are around to test your patience, the existence of irresponsible people to make you lead, beautiful people to make you impress and so on. All in all, you learn about life from one another.

For these two days, I change the way I lead my life. I walk around in the residential college in the morning to feel the morning sun and the cooling breeze after a long night of study, I go to the library for my revision and also to chance on great looking guys from the Middle East, I study at the intellectual square between the guys' dorm, I enjoy the night scenery with some food outside my room, etc etc. Those are the little things I have changed so far and it is enough to keep me happy. I guess I am a girl with little things to ask for.

This morning was different from all the other mornings I am blessed to experienced. Things go like this if you put 2 people like Li Chin and RJ around.

IN MSN MESSENGER

RJ(♂) says:

morning gal..

SmoothTan says:

morning gal

RJ(♂) says:

both works fine for me..

SmoothTan says:

wow...how come?

RJ(♂) says:

i'm a guy tat appeared a gal..

RJ(♂) says:

u hv problem wif tat?

SmoothTan says:

nope...

RJ(♂) says:

good..

RJ(♂) says:

SmoothTan says:

so...having sleeping prob again???

SmoothTan says:

midnite now?

RJ(♂) says:

yep.

RJ(♂) says:

just starting to study..

SmoothTan says:

wow

SmoothTan says:

exam tomoro?

RJ(♂) says:

ermm..

RJ(♂) says:

u hv a problem wif that?

SmoothTan says:

erm...u hv a prob with dat ques?

SmoothTan says:

u've asked me twice

RJ(♂) says:

yeah..

RJ(♂) says:

indeed u hv a problem wif that?

SmoothTan says:

nah...

SmoothTan says:

u hv a prob with me nt having prob with dat?

RJ(♂) says:

obviously i'm a man wif no problem wif anything.

SmoothTan says:

good

SmoothTan says:

nice to hear dat

RJ(♂) says:

r u?

RJ(♂) says:

i dun think so..

SmoothTan says:

RJ(♂) says:

cos ur exclaimation shows d opposite..

SmoothTan says:

well...it's just the way u read it

SmoothTan says:

try reading it in another way

RJ(♂) says:

either way pointin d same direction..

SmoothTan says:

nice to hear DAT

SmoothTan says:

more sarcastic

SmoothTan says:

NICE to hear dat

SmoothTan says:

okay wat

RJ(♂) says:

obviously...either one of us is off d frequency...

RJ(♂) says:

wat r u talking about again?

SmoothTan says:

nvm

RJ(♂) says:

lol..

RJ(♂) says:

i was talking about ur "wow"...

SmoothTan says:

yeah wow cuz i dun study at midnite

RJ(♂) says:

and only ppl that hv problem about wat i'm doin says wow...

SmoothTan says:

i must admit dat many of us are nocturnal human beings

RJ(♂) says:

well..

RJ(♂) says:

it doesn't matter..

RJ(♂) says:

d person that hv d most bucks counts...=D

SmoothTan says:

yeah cuz dat's the measure of achievement...

SmoothTan says:

ppl dun measure ur achiement with paper qualification but with the type of house u own, the gal u hv, the money in ur wallet, the phone u r using n so on

SmoothTan says:

right?

RJ(♂) says:

ermm...

SmoothTan says:

RJ(♂) says:

i won't change ur mind if u think so..

SmoothTan says:

it's the fact

RJ(♂) says:

hrmmm...

AND THERE GOES OUR INTELLECTUAL DEBATE ( EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR ME, MIDNITE FOR HIM CUZ HE'S IN GLASGOW)

SmoothTan says:

money is the measure of achievement

RJ(♂) says:

hrmmm....

RJ(♂) says:

i respectfully disagree...

SmoothTan says:

okay rebut

RJ(♂) says:

ppl that achieve self-actualization...

RJ(♂) says:

money doesn't matter anymore..

RJ(♂) says:

that's why money isn't d top of maslow hierarchy..

RJ(♂) says:

OF NEED...

SmoothTan says:

wow you impressed me

SmoothTan says:

MASLOW hierrachy

RJ(♂) says:

money can only satisfy d 2 lower level of maslow hierarchy of needs..

SmoothTan says:

elaborate

RJ(♂) says:

money can buy u food, sex, clothes, roof on ur head and etc...

RJ(♂) says:

but money can't buy self-esteem...

RJ(♂) says:

nor self actualization..

SmoothTan says:

icic

SmoothTan says:

u should join debate

SmoothTan says:

RJ(♂) says:

whoever is still struggling to work for money...they r still struggling wif first 2 level of needs...

RJ(♂) says:

those work is working wat they wan...they will hv certain self-esteem..

SmoothTan says:

yeah our parents

RJ(♂) says:

that money can no longer buy them over..

RJ(♂) says:

but when they achieved self-actualization...it's just like dream come true...

SmoothTan says:

hahaha

SmoothTan says:

icic

RJ(♂) says:

not many will b there....but v shouldn't b discouraged...

RJ(♂) says:

that where v should aim...

RJ(♂) says:

but if v give up our dream just for money...i

RJ(♂) says:

i'll say that...that's really pathetic..

SmoothTan says:

i think money helps to ease ur way to ur dream

SmoothTan says:

when ppl's needs are met only then they can achieve self-actualization

SmoothTan says:

because not many ppl actually achieve self-actualization, not many ppl can really measure from the view that self-actualization is the measure of achievement in human life

SmoothTan says:

when ppl's needs have been met, that is when they can pursue their desire and their dream

RJ(♂) says:

that's d second argument i was about to say..

RJ(♂) says:

den how to measure a person's achievement wif money?

RJ(♂) says:

d person earning most bucks means they r just d best slave around...

SmoothTan says:

money buys u food

SmoothTan says:

without money u'll be worrying ur wits off

SmoothTan says:

aftertat u won't get good sleep

RJ(♂) says:

if eating alot of food is wat u like n wat u do best....i guess...yeah..

RJ(♂) says:

that's goot..

RJ(♂) says:

*good

SmoothTan says:

when u can't get gd sleep that affects ur hormone secretion

SmoothTan says:

when hormone is imbalanced the whole body goes haywire

SmoothTan says:

that's when problem comes in when u r sick

SmoothTan says:

so money is needed to buy u psychological needs

SmoothTan says:

it helps you to own a house

SmoothTan says:

giving safety to ur family

RJ(♂) says:

money satisfy d lower part of d hierarchy...

SmoothTan says:

yup

RJ(♂) says:

a successful person is d person either after self-actualization or already hv it..

SmoothTan says:

it helps to fulfill ur basic needs only then you can proceed to another level in MASLOW hierrachy of needs.

RJ(♂) says:

not by measure of number is zeros in his account.

RJ(♂) says:

though, number of zeros comes together when he achieved his dreams..

SmoothTan says:

so i think this thing goes hand in hand

SmoothTan says:

money helps

RJ(♂) says:

depends on what u r after..

SmoothTan says:

but u hv to earn it earnestly or else ppl will shun u off

RJ(♂) says:

michael jordan dun need hell lot of cash..

RJ(♂) says:

SmoothTan says:

cuz he has hell lots of cash

SmoothTan says:

his basic needs r met

RJ(♂) says:

but he dun need hell lot of casg to b there.

RJ(♂) says:

all u need is passion n desire...d real passion n desire in u that will bring u to self-actualization...not money....

SmoothTan says:

passion n desire also bring u to money

SmoothTan says:

it helps you to work for long hours

RJ(♂) says:

but not money bring u passion n desire...

SmoothTan says:

in the end...u'll get money

SmoothTan says:

with money u can do whatever u want

RJ(♂) says:

in processs of fulfilling...d money just comes along though u dun need them..

SmoothTan says:

it helps to achieve passion n desire

RJ(♂) says:

it's not earning money just to do watever u want...

SmoothTan says:

history has it in abundance that people got irritated when one race was earning much more than the others.

RJ(♂) says:

jealousy is another element of human being...

SmoothTan says:

jealousy bcuz of money?

RJ(♂) says:

u do best when u r doing the things u hv passion of...

RJ(♂) says:

and process of doing wat u do best...u make ur bucks..

SmoothTan says:

not good = lil money

SmoothTan says:

best = lotsa money

SmoothTan says:

dat's what drives ppl to be the best

RJ(♂) says:

but doin wat u do best is wat u want to do...u no need money to do watever u want...cos u already doing wat u want..

SmoothTan says:

i need money to do watever i want

RJ(♂) says:

how to do best if ur heart is thinking of doin some other thing u want?

SmoothTan says:

i want to travel the world

RJ(♂) says:

that's very very very wrong...

RJ(♂) says:

it's a sad case where ppl fall for this..

SmoothTan says:

without money i can't travel the world

RJ(♂) says:

believing only money can allow them to do wat they want to do..

SmoothTan says:

it depends on the things u want to do

THAT'S WHEN THE ARGUMENTS GET A BIT PERSONAL...

RJ(♂) says:

u say u wanna travel d world...but do u hv any idea of travelling?

SmoothTan says:

dun say i dun hv the idea

RJ(♂) says:

stepping into ppls land is NOT travelling..

SmoothTan says:

i wanted to bring my mom along cuz she works hard enough for me

SmoothTan says:

dat's y i want to earn more money

SmoothTan says:

so that i can give her a good life

SmoothTan says:

i already met all her needs

SmoothTan says:

i didn't bcome bad

SmoothTan says:

n struggle to be in U

SmoothTan says:

so when i go out

SmoothTan says:

i wana make bucks

SmoothTan says:

to give her the better quality of life

SmoothTan says:

cuz of all her hard work

SmoothTan says:

i've seen the cases of my frens...they got their years in U entended bcuz they need the PTPTN money to help the family

SmoothTan says:

sad cases

SmoothTan says:

if u can make money...u can help the world

RJ(♂) says:

it's all about money huh?

RJ(♂) says:

i guess i hv been living a world of ideal..

SmoothTan says:

u hv ur own view

SmoothTan says:

i hv mine

RJ(♂) says:

it's pretty idealistic to me now..

RJ(♂) says:

i guess i'm lucky..

SmoothTan says:

u can't say ppl dat goes all out for money r in sad business

SmoothTan says:

bcuz it's not

RJ(♂) says:

but i believe money is roots of all evil..

SmoothTan says:

see...it depends on ur beliefs

SmoothTan says:

i bliv money can help

RJ(♂) says:

that's why i say i won't change ur mind.

RJ(♂) says:

probably...if u spend so much effort to get money.

RJ(♂) says:

i dun think u r going to give them away easily..

SmoothTan says:

i give them...

SmoothTan says:

i do my charity

SmoothTan says:

i gv rm5

RJ(♂) says:

SmoothTan says:

bcuz dat's only wat i can give

SmoothTan says:

this month

SmoothTan says:

cuz mother's day is around the corner

SmoothTan says:

my mom's birthday is in june

SmoothTan says:

there r 3 schools of thoughts about money- it brings evil, it brings good and it brings neither good or bad

SmoothTan says:

the question is how u earn it n how u spend it

RJ(♂) says:

money is something i won't waste time on looking..

RJ(♂) says:

i'll look for something more important..

SmoothTan says:

passion?

SmoothTan says:

cuz money can never b enough huh?

SmoothTan says:

u r right too

SmoothTan says:

so really...it depends on wat u wana achieve

RJ(♂) says:

money will just comes along.

RJ(♂) says:

i won't spend time bothering about it.

SmoothTan says:

okay

SmoothTan says:

u give me a nice debate this morning

SmoothTan says:

shud have met a fren like u earlier!!!

SmoothTan says:

maybe i can make it into the debate team

SmoothTan says:

hahahaha

RJ(♂) says:

u can't?

I wonder whether I can get another round of debate with him or not to prepare me for my Proficiency test tomorrow. It would be hell lot of fun and practice.

Li Chin on Hairstyles and Her Tooth.

2009-04-19T09:40:00.006+08:00

Hey guys, I know it's exam time and I should be there studying, not sitting here blogging or facebooking. You know, girls are always thinking about those minor stuffs about their appearance and I think I spend much of my time worrying about my hair, my face, my physique rather than my assignments or exams.

Give me an opinion here okay? Which one is better?

The kind of hairstyle I am having now.

This is the normal look when I am attending lecture with a longer fringe than the picture below since I have no time to go for a haircut. A friend commented that I look plain with this kinda hair.

This was the look I have last year. Half bob and half long since I wanted to be so different from my friends. Is a good haircut considering that you can have short hair for one day and long hair another day.

This picture was taken two weeks ago. Since the fringe I am having is long, I clip it up most of the time.

So, this summarizes the hairstyle of mine on normal, boring days when I am going for lectures, tutorials, when I am in my residential college and so on. It's the lazy look without much styling.

The kind of hairstyle I have when I have the mood to look good.

The messy look that requires me put on hair-spray, brushing my hair up and down to create volume and blow dry it.

This also requires a lot of work. I have to plait close to my scalp my hair when it is still wet. I wonder whether I would go bald if I do this often.

This look is easier considering that I have to plait and bun up my hair before I sleep. The next day, I would have to hardened it with the hairspray before I let down my hair to create this bed-head.

Curly Hair

I curled for RM45 for my Malam Perdana Sembilan since I wanted to see how I would look with curls.

Smaller curls for bigger hair because I wanted to know whether with this big hair I would look like Einstein.

Turns out I look completely fine and a bit on the gothic side.

Big, loose curls in my first attempt to curl my hair. Not bad.

Straightened Hair
This was the straight hair I had when I attended my first Malam Perdana Sembilan at the end of my Year 1.

A closer look since my mom always commented that I look better with my straight hair.

Do I look better with straight hair? Which suits me better? Please leave comments.

Did y'all notice my tooth there? My mom had been pestering me to go to the dentist for consultation. So, I went to the clinic to get his advice. He suggested crowning. I need to extract my tooth and he will use the scary tool that has the sound 'greeeeekkkkkk.....grrrrrr....' to make my other tooth smaller so that the man-made teeth (cuz got two teeth) can be planted into my gums. It will cost me RM450 and I will go toothless (lack of one teeth) for 10 days :( So much for nicer teeth...

Proficiency Test

2009-04-17T18:10:00.003+08:00

I thought of blogging yesterday but words just didn't come out right. So, this is just another ordinary blog about my day since I am experiencing blogger's block right now.

Remember that I actually promised that I will share about my test result at the end of the post, 'Mistake'? I was quite eager to know about my result since I did badly in my speaking test! The topic they had given me was "how to help the government to curb the problem of illegal immigrants." My jaws dropped and my eyes grew bigger the moment I had the question paper in my hand. Worst of all, when all my group members started speaking on their own part, it occurred to me that I had elaborated on the wrong points.

I couldn't believe my eyes that I actually elaborated "how the government can curb the problems of illegal immigrants"! My adrenaline was pumping and I got an idea of a bimbo to change the noun "government" to "the immigration department" which is also part of the government. I talked only about 1 min and 30 secs on law reinforcement, putting more guards at the border of our country, increasing the number of patrols to give potential illegal immigrants that the Malaysian government is taking this issue seriously. It was bad considering that every one of my group members talked on and on for almost 3 minutes.

I worried about my result but I managed to get my days going. So, yesterday when I got back to KL, I went to the Linguistics Faculty all the way from my college to have a look at my result. Surprisingly, it was not that bad afterall. I got a B for my half-way-done proficiency test. To be exact, I got a B- for my listening and a B for my speaking test. Was on cloud nine on the way back to my college.

It makes me wonder if I try harder, would my result be the same? I might just be a few marks short of B+. No worries, I have another test to go which focus on my comprehension and essay writing to make up on my marks. We don't normally get a second chance in our exam and this one seems to give me a second chance to get at least a B+! I need to drug myself with self-determination. I need an antidote for this lazy virus that's contaminating my whole system.

It seems like this antidote is coming in its away. I'm having my running nose and my whole body seems to be hot. I think I am going to get fever. Hopefully, with my fluctuating body temperature, it's hot enough to break the walls of the lazy virus and kills it once and for all.

Oh, to all UM students out there, Arulselvi said that today is the last day to do that umctes thingy. The website is http://umctes.um.edu.my.

Li Chin's exam target:
1) Proficiency for Language Teachers ## B+##
2) Drama 1 ##A-##
3) Language Learning and Language Use ##B+##
4) Teaching Drama ##A-##
5) Etika Perguruan ##B##
6) Pengurusan Unit Beruniform ##A##

...Li Chin must be cocky... She's revealing her target here...She's so not Li Chin...

Malam Perdana Sembilan (4/4/09)

2009-04-09T07:17:00.007+08:00

The theme for that night was Ros Merah, Bunga Putih, Wangian Kedamaian. So, most of us are clad in red, white and also pink.

This are my coursemates. We are all TESLians and we were all smoking hot that night.

From the left of this picture: Asykin, Li Chin, Rina, Nikki, Devan, Rheita, Asyran and Alan.

I suspect that Asyran has something for Rheita!

This is my TESL senior, Yeong Ru. Helped me a lot in correcting my grammar mistakes when I was in my 1st year.

This is also my senior. She danced together with us in DTC for FESENI.

Me pretending to be all cute and pretty but my attempt didn't work!

Curled my hair that night and I purposely asked someone to snap the backview of my hair.

Okay...I smiled like a rabbit! But I liked the pose anyway.

The sexiest pose from me. This is the max cuz I dunno how to be sexy...I can only be rough.

The tree should be honoured cuz it has the chance of a lifetime to pose with an Indian Princess.

Sitting on the bench. Out of ideas on how to pose.

Me mesmerized by my own reflection.

I love what I wore that night although I didn't bare any of my skin which was so unlike Li Chin.

Side view of myself cuz I wanna see how long were my lashes. I put on falsies that night.

Playing with my curly hair. Trying to be flirty.

Remind me not to pose with my hair tilted to the side because it made the area of my jaw looked so big!!!

Me and my beautiful daughters. In the middle one is Xue Fang and the one wearing the pink dress one is Tze Wei.

The sideview of my saree dress. I looked absolutely gorgeous that night although I was all mummied up in my saree. If I were to reveal a bit of my skin, guys would be drooling :)

The new NIOXIN hair model because my hair deserved the best that night.

I was so happy cuz I looked exceptionally tall that night. Million of thanks to my more than 3-inch heels.

Me and Chia Bin. I was still shorter than her that night. She was also wearing heels.

I've to bend my knees when I took this picture with them. They were the dwarfs, I was the Indian Princess.

***Will be re-editted once I'm back to Kuantan***

Mistakes

2009-04-07T21:29:00.003+08:00

Sometimes the thing you learn when you're little are put into practice till this fateful day. I remember I was clad in my tiny blue uniform when I was little. Papa would always sit by my side watching my little hands scribbling something on the paper. When I did a mistake, I would take the eraser and just simply rubbed it off. Then, papa would take my book and eraser, rubbing off the mistake I did and he would always say, "Ah by, when you rub something off, you must rub it off until no smudges can be seen."

Mistakes. Everyone messes up once in a while. When you were a kid, one of the most serious mistakes you might do was to run away from your parents in the mall just to get a glimpse of your favourite toy and it didn't come to your senses that you were lost until you were about to find them to buy that stupid toy. When you were a teenager, you found yourself on the rebellious mode. Your parents forbade you from going out with that boy but you went out with him and things got out of hand. In the end you got pregnant and he dumped you. When you are applying make up onto your face, you might accidently smudge the line you drew with your eyeliner but you wiped it off with your make up remover. Mistakes, no matter how huge or how little it is, leaves an impact in your life. It is not too late to realize that sometimes life does not come with an eraser.

Words are most of the time unforgivable. You might erase your mistakes with erasers and no smudges can be seen with your naked eye but the truth is, you can feel it.

I spend my time blogging when I have my speaking test tomorrow. You'll know whether it's a mistake or not from the grades I get later on. Once I get it, I would spill it here. Catch up with me some other time.

The Things with William

2009-04-07T07:15:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it makes me wonder where did this girl go? Seems like the fun part of myself is missing somewhere in this adulthood. I miss the part of me who's always happy-go-lucky, who's always having some crazy ideas coming up, who's always so fun to be with. Who has taken the part away from me?

Why should I deprive myself from happiness? I hate to admit it but the name William does trigger a spark of interest in me. I don't feel like elaborating it here when my purpose of blogging it to lay out what is on my mind and not to derogate someone and also not to make myself look foolish. However, I come to realize that the more I care about what's going on on his mind, the more negative my feelings are.

Yesterday, on the fateful afternoon, Alan spilled out some news about his roommate. This sounded like:
Alan : I don't know what happen between you and my roommate.
Li Chin : Why?
Alan : When I asked him to come down for dinner that day, he asked who am I eating with. I told him with you and he replied that he would take his dinner later.

I felt angry with tinge of sadness in me. But then, the sadness was overwhelming at the last 30 minutes before my next class. I contacted Arul and she came immediately to the campus. I'm lucky in that sense that I have a reliable friend that share the same thoughts like me. Arul questioned me a few questions that I was dreading to answer. In fact, I'm never good in expressing myself. I just feel insecure telling anyone my feelings because I don't like people viewing me as a weak human-being or even a loser.

During my two-hour class, I managed to push the thought aside and plastered on my stone-face. It was a very successful attempt in which Alan did not feel the rage and the sadness in me till he blurted out about William again on our way back to our residential college. I felt the pure intense anger coming out from my own mouth in which I told Alan not to tell me anything about his roommate again. My blood was boiling all the way back to college and was so relief that my roommates were not around. I threw my key on the table and it hit on the surface really really hard and somehow it left a mark on the table.

My head was heavy. There wasn't any tears flowing out from my eyes. I just saw them welled up in my eyes but feeling as if my tears were flowing inside. Never before, I felt this angry. So, I went to the hall to get my dinner to eye-balled everyone that crossed on my path. I was furious. I chewed on my rice like I was chewing him.

It hit me hard that things really have changed. From soon-to-be boyfriend and girlfiend to friend. From friend to best friend, best friend to friends, friends to friends with drama.

I need to talk to him before things get out of hand. Confront him about everything and also to tell him things I have always wanted to tell him. It is the time to come clean to save or put a halt on our friendship because the huge drama is draining my energy. I will do it after my exam so that no matter what decision we make, there is a whole 2 months for us or just me to recover.

Malam Perdana Sembilan

2009-04-05T08:28:00.005+08:00

I wish I had a camera savouring every moment of my prom night in Sheraton Hotel. It was a night to remember minus the boring moment at the table where I chose to go to the ladies for a few times to mirror myself, cam-whore with other babes and listening to other people gossiping about me. Yeah, I was clad in Arul's saree that night and I had my hair curled up so I think people didn't know that I was walking into the ladies, mirroring myself there when they are talking about me.
**My face looks really big in this photo**

Minus all that crappy stuffs, I actually had quite a great moment considering that many people from the different races complimented that I look beautiful that night and I had the opportunities to take pictures with quite a number of people that seem to be strangers to me.

I have always wanted my hair to be curly and yesterday was a perfect night to set my hair that way. Mom had always forbade me from curling up my hair because I would look too mature at my age. This picture was taken at my room after my prom night. SS to the heap in my room cuz I had all the room all by myself.

Wow, this is the lashes I have always wished for! Long and flirty! This is the falsies of course and no matter how fake it was, it certainly made my eyes stood out 2 times bigger than by natural endowed eyes.

This photo was taken in the bathroom. I just couldn't wash my curly hair just I love my hair too much!!!

It really was a night to remember. Wish I can do this again some other time. Maybe the next year I would be wearing cheongsam cuz I never wore it once eventhough I am a chinese. I'm a pure Chinese!!!

Before I end this post. I would like to thank Arulselvi Uthayakumaran for lending me her beautiful, silk-like, pinkish saree and Anna for lending me her purple bangles. Besides that, I would love to thank Priya Mohan for tying or draping the saree for me for like 30 minutes. Last but not least, I need to thank Tiu Kang Yong for the beautiful look that she has helped me with. Thanks, I look like an Indian princess yesterday!

I would also extend my thanks to Alan who has dedicated the cute little bear for cute little Li Chin and Keagon William, the ladies man, for lending us the camera for 15 minutes.

Mommy, thanks for encouraging me to go for a night like this. You're right, I need to have a break from all the assignments and so on. I love you and you're the greatest mom in the whole world. Papa, I know you're with me like always. Love you too.

Loving my Thursday

2009-04-02T17:50:00.003+08:00

This week, I've handed in my Etika Perguruan assignment and I've finally presented my part on code-mixing and code-switching among people who are bilinguals. Although my presentation this morning sucked big time because of some technical problems and also because of my nervousness, I'm glad that all that is finally done and now I can begin to concentrate on Templer's and Dr. Faustus assignments which are going to due next week.

I think I should work on my self-esteem because I tend to get really really nervous when I am talking in front of everyone eventhough I know how much homework I have done to prepare myself. Well, if everything had not been going my way this morning, I didn't lose anything cuz I get experience and the practice to speak in front of everybody. At least now I know I am really a fast talker when I am nervous.

After dinner, I should not procratinate. I should really begin to do my assignment or else I will be doomed. So, here's my Things-To-Do list:

Thursday (2/4/09)
19:00 - 22:30 -- The Cord

Friday (3/4/09)
14:00 - 18:00 -- The Cord
20:00 - 22:00 -- Dr. Faustus

Saturday (4/4/09)
08:00 - 11:00 -- Dr. Faustus

Sunday (5/4/09)
08:00 - 14:00 -- Dr. Faustus
20:00 - 22:00 -- King Lear

Hope I'm disciplined enough to finish all the things I've planned. Sometimes, I love to plan things but most of the time, I'll just break my plan. Break my plan? Oh, wateva... I'm going for my dinner now.

2009-03-21T06:56:00.002+08:00

Great Things To Do this Weekend.

1. Drink a cup of coffee and enjoy its richness of taste.

2. Dance around in the room with loud music and risk myself in getting a hole in my eardrum.

3. Pamper my hands and feet by exfoliating it with scrub. Soak it in hot water to open up the poor and then put essential oil on it.

4. Shape my eyebrow for my big day on Sunday.

5. Cut my nails and coat them with nail polish.

6. Walk around in college so as to relax my nerve after a long day.

7. A DIY facial for myself cuz it's getting oilier.

8. SSGG in the room with more cam-whoring.

9. Blog about the things I did in Sekinchan (that is if I got the time).

10. Read CLEO instead of The Country Wife, do quizzes in Facebook instead of the assignments I have.

My Suicidal Thought

2009-03-16T19:09:00.002+08:00

Loneliness speaks in silent. Sometimes it mocks us despite of the packed lifestyle we have. Most of the time it prompts us to question the emptiness in our heart, it questions the meaning of the things we are doing. We can't build our own escape and so loneliness just eats us up. Loneliness is a space with no air, it makes you struggle to escape and sometimes you just thought of suicidal.

How many times have you question yourself what awaits you the next day or even the next hour? I just feel like walking towards the ocean with roaring waves. Walking towards it, feeling its danger, coming straight to the point so close that I might feel myself drowning. I want to feel the bubbles of air escaping from me till I almost have no more air in my lungs, so close that I might see the point I am leading the way of my life.

Why bother to go to the sea? The knife is always there to do the job. I can always slit my wrist, feel the droplets of my precious red blood oozing out from my body. I don't want to do that cuz a scar on my wrist it a symbol of defeat. I just want to feel the water drowning me and me coming out from the water as a symbol of renewal.

How many times have you done your assignments and in the mist of it you question what is this all about? It just tires you out. When you stop doing it, that's when loneliness creeps in. Why is loneliness so bothersome? How does loneliness arise despite of our hectic lifestyle?

I need a break. I need direction. Otherwise I am drowning in my own sea of assignments...

Rewarding Myself

2009-03-13T13:19:00.003+08:00

Human beings, like other living organisms, will pursue a goal when they are given reward and this reward serves as reinforcement for a particular behaviour.
- B.F. Skinner -

Enduring 17 credit hours of class per week to some people might just be a piece of cake. Don't judge me, I'm not lazy and I don't skip class but attending every class is not something I anticipate. In other words, putting up with lecturers' mood swings, keeping up with sudden waves of assignments and many human behaviours are not something I want to fill my days with. So, most of the time, I will reward myself with a cup of coffee almost every day to keep me going class after class.

However, I'm a greedy person. I would never settle down just for a cup of coffee. I like to sleep in the afternoon, a siesta I would call it and I would never ever let myself sleep later than 12am unless of course I have something better to do than sleeping. That is rare but it happens like twice or thrice in a month just like mood swings. Siesta is essential part of my life.

Classes take up 4 and a half hours, walking back and forth from college is about 1 hour, eating breakfast, lunch, dinner take about 1 and a half hour, afternoon nap for 1 and a half hour, hitting the shower room twice for about 1 hour, dressing up for half an hour, sleep for 7 hours, entertain myself for about 2 hours, talking and crapping for almost every chance I can find and time for college activities...VOILA it's 24 hours!!! And I don't even have time for assignments during weekdays.

I really need to find a way or two to buck up. I should reward myself for accomplishing certain assignments so that I have the drive to do better for my next assignments. (ahhh, it's actually my new-found reason to spend money)

REWARDS:
1) All the other assignments I've done
***** a pair of new sandals *****

2) Language Use assignment ( 24/3/09)
***** a bug-eyed spectacles *****

3) Etika Perguruan assignment ( 31/4/09 )
***** will figure out later *****

4) King Lear re-edit assignment ( 2/5/09 )
***** will also figure out later *****

5) Pengurusan Unit Beruniform on Keselamatan Dalam Rumah ( next next week )
***** yeah, figure out later *****

Ohh, buggy buggy, I want you so much!!!

My Birthday Celebration Part 2

2009-03-04T07:55:00.001+08:00

Birthday, a celebration of life. But somehow, it marks that you're getting older and a step closer to get more wrinkles, pot bellies and saggy skin. However, having a bunch of friends just make your days worthwhile.

I'm 22 years old. I'd celebrated my birthday with my bunch of close TESLians friends in KFC which was situated outside just outside of our campus. Nice cake!!! Hopefully with each passing year, my life would be glowingly happy like the cake that was so yellow, so 'ong'!!!

Gui Chan's birthday fell on the next day, Feb 23. 2 beautiful girls were celebrating birthday together. Together we grow prettier, happier and more successful.

Fish almost gave me a birthday kiss that Sunday. Just kidding, we were just posing and because she's Fish, her mouth ought to be that way.

Gui Chan and I received our birthday present in a some sort Anna-made envelope but it was.....

...the best birthday gift ever!!! some of the things were actually imported from Labuan and in the next post I'll post about what's written on those hanging colourful papers.

We didn't cut the cake after the birthday song. We posed consecutively for 5 pictures. Pose 1 with the camera focussing on my big thighs and Gui Chan's smooth legs!!! ISH!!!

Pose 2, with me getting a punch from Jessica and Anna is shot by Alan. Arul is forever Arul...

This is slightly better where everyone was actually normal for seconds. Arul was being Arul again.

I didn't know why everyone's mouth was so abnormal that day except for Jessica. She's always with her smile. Must be us talking again and Jessica was just posing there smiling, showing how nice was her teeth.

I love this picture. Why? Everyone was so decent with their poses except for me :)

I smiled with my lips pursed but then I looked strange...

This was mad. They actually attacked the Birthday Girl!!!

Fish was all brave and evil that day. She actually tried to grip my jaws with the creamy hand of hers.

I tried so hard wanted to wipe the cream away and she held both of my hands with her hand!!!

She's still holding my hand so I just posed for another shot.

And then she took the piece of cake and just dirtied my jeans!!! What a wonderful birthday gift...

See...they actually held my hands like I was some kind of prisoner and the cake was my punishment.

And they suffocated me with the tissue!!! Arghhh!!! But it was indeed a great night at KFC.

Li Chin's Birthday Celebration Part 1

2009-02-24T19:05:00.001+08:00

I have always wanted a special someone in my life to celebrate each passing moments with me with pampering dinner and with us exchanging words of love. I want his eyes all on me and to say with a sincere heart how beautiful I am everyday and that he feels he is blessed to have me and now he's a whole person. I'll be very very happy if on every special occasion he gives me a teddy bear so that even he's not there with me for a second in my life, the teddy bear is going to accompany me on his behalf. Wow, I would be on cloud nine if he gives me a bouquet of flowers too!

Let's go straight to the point without me making y'all go merry-go-round. I celebrated my birthday with a guy. Everything was going according to what I'd described above except that we did not have a relationship more than a friend so we did not exchange those words of love also. Let's name this guy Keagon.

He had given me hints 1 week before that he was going to bring me to a restaurant somewhere. On my birthday eve, he brought me to NiuZeXui. Wow, I liked the place pretty much because it was as if I celebrated my birthday in mini Disneyland.

It's pathetic though that I didn't become his main focus on that day itself. He was going around with his camera taking photos. It was as if he was enjoying his moment at the mini Disneyland too.

He was forever with his camera but he didn't take any picture of me. What to do, Daisy Duck was more attractive or even cuter than Li Chin the human.

We spent our time walking because I told him I was not hungry yet but he had a weird hunger for cute things like this fat cat outside a shop.

All he gave me was a picture of many pots of flowers on my birthday and imagine how my beautiful day-dream became a living funny scene!!! I should never wish next time!

Then, he brought me to "Full House". I was day dreaming about teddy bears and now they had teddy bears in the restaurant itself lying and sitting around like they were welcoming us. No wonder it's called "Full House". It was indeed a house fulled with stuffed toys.

I ate a plate of fish and chips and there he was smiling commenting how I ate like a 'kampung' lady. See, instead of getting flattery words, all I got was people saying me I ate like kampung lady.

It was as if not embarrassing enough that he had to snap pictures on how I'd done my eating. This fellar!!!

And this was the coffee I drank. Not bad, nice!!! Cuz the bills were on him, that's the greatest part of all.

We stumbled across this Mamma Mia thing before we walked back to his car. The funniest thing of all, he called his Naza Suria as Keagon and the guy that went out with me, he's William, not Keagon.

Look Who's Wishing... =)

2009-02-23T07:34:00.003+08:00

How successful I am the previous year depends on the number of people wishing me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

I know this sound a bit stupid, funny, childish or whatever you call it. I have my reason for it though. It's because they value me as a friend so they took their time and effort to wish me a simple birthday wish.

Below are the people who have wished me:

VIA FRIENDSTER
1. Hui Yee
Happy Birthday
2. Ben Ji
Wishing you a wonderful and happy birthday
3. Dewi Izlin
Happy Birthday
4. Kah Hong
Happy Birthday

VIA FACEBOOK
5. Sin Yi
Hey sweetie...Happy Birthday
6. Ivan Fam
Happy Birthday
7. Kudret
Happy Birthday
8. the sexy lady, Amy Chin
Happy Birthday, be more mature ya, hahaha. Keep the fun going.
9. Wern Lie
Happy Birthday gal...all the best.
10.Curry Egg
Wow...Li Chin. It is your b'day today? Great! Luckily I didn't miss this. Happy Birthday to you. Big girl d...guai guai oh.
11.Wen Ping
Hey gurl...Happy Birthday o
12.Janet Teng
happy birthday!
13.Zhong Weng
Happy birthday licin natalie tan!
14. Isil Turkmen
Happy birthdayyy :D
15. Ken Keong Lee
Happy Birthday
16. Clowern
Girl, Happy Birthday! Stay pretty always.
17. Ng Che Ping
Happy Birthday to you. have fun and be happy alwez.
18. Edward Tan
Happy Birthday...enjoy ur celebration yeah!

MSN MESSENGER
19. Alan Ho
Happy Birthday
20. Mei Kei
Happy Birthday
21. Kee Aun
Happy Birthday

SMS
22. Prosperous
Jeh Jeh, happy birthday. wow wow wow love, prosperous.
23. 012968xxxx
Happy b'day mama! Make a wish and may your dream comes true...All the best!
24. Winnie
send you an angel 4 special protection + blessing 4 a better day ahead. happy birthday!

25. Han Fu
Hoi, leng lui mama, hapi hapi birthday lo...hehe~
26. Tze Siang
Li Chin mama, happy birthday ya! wish u bcumin mo lenglui, mo sexy, mo happy, mo healthy, n much mo...hehe ;-)
27. Ming Yan
yo, happy b'day mama. stay happy n cool alwez hehe^^
28. Chee Hoe
happy birthday=) my dear^^ muak=)
29. Khai Ling
happy b'day to leng lui Li Chin...~:-)
30. Elaine
happy birthday wife :-) sorry i couldn't make it to the steamboat! many happy returns:-)
31. Chicky Ming
li chin ah ma, happy birthday. all the best n alwez beautiful.
32. Tze Wei
Happy birthday mama~~~ may all the dreams come true! sry 4 vy late greeting...
33. Xue Fang
Happy birthday to u. sry 4 da late!
34. Ashley
Hapi birthday mommy!
35. Shian Feng
oh smooth tan! today ur birthday ka? happy birthday leh! hope your face smoother than sand paper la!;)
36. Huei Minn
Hey...happy birthday...big girl dy lo..haha..wish u all the best n happy owez..take care.
37. Lih Yoong
happy birthday to u!!! li chin, may u hv a great achievement in ur future undertakings. be happy n stay healthy always.
38. Arul
oh ya, happy birthday sunshine, i got it rite tis time din't i? ya, i brought ur saree.
39. Poay Hoon
Happy Birthday o!
40. Jia Rin
Happy birthday...big girl dy...hehe...
41. MOMMY, MAY MAY, DIDI n PAPA
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy 2 li chin happy birthday to u. happy b'day n we love you.
42. Hong Zheng
hey... 2day ur b'day ka? juz now no credit jo.. juz reload ny.. :) happy birthday ya..
43. Fish Kee
this is magic! press down 7 times u'll b cute!...........at ur age u still bliv u'll cute ar? hello!? wake up lah..happy birthday ya.
44. William
Happy birthday n gd nite
45. Yong Feng
Happy Birthday!
46.016326xxxx
ha ha ha ..... happy birthday to you! happy birthday to my dear friend... Make a wish! May ur dreams all come true... Cheer : )

IN KFC
47. Anna Louis Tan Ling Ling
Happy Birthday, Li Chin. Hahahaha. ### and she messed up my hair!!!###
48. Jessica Insulting
Happy Birthday...hahaha...it must be da cake, it must be da cake!
49. Gui Chan
Happy Birthday ### Gui Chan has to kiss the cake as well yesterday###

Another list will be in the next post...:)

When Picture Speaks

2009-02-22T01:19:00.004+08:00

Life is one big gamble. You get the good cards but most of the time you get the bad cards. You don't always win with good cards and yet, sometimes you win with your bad cards. So...
The more you play, the more skillful you are... When the stakes are high, it's either you win big or you lose it all...

Humans come in many different shapes and sizes. You feel that you are not good enough and thus you compare yourself with other John and Jane Does. You make yourself aware of your weaknesses. Your affective filters ( fear, anxiety, etc ) are high and this has lowered down your own performance. In the end, you lose yourself and your own identity. So are you good enough when you don't know who you are?
If we are disabled in an area, we are abled in another area. No one is perfect.

Chess is a game of destruction. One wrong move, you sacrifice something and you're a loser.
But mistakes are not like a chess game. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

If I don't do my assignment, that is because I'm busy. If you don't do your assignment, that is because you're lazy! And you feel discontented with everyone because they are not like you...
Peace comes from within and no one is born to meet your expectations.

We stare so long at the closed door and we don't notice another door that is wide open to welcome us...
Aiya, like Chinese maxim "If the old one doesn't go, the new ones won't come." Typical Chinese saying but holds the truth to a certain extend.

We learnt problem solving skills since we were young. When our nappies were wet (problem), we cry loudly to get our nappies changed (solution).
Learn to take life in a stride. Don't worry, BE BABY.

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. Things happen for a reason and sometimes it's a blessing out of disguise.
It's never too late to mend.

The eyes are made to look out and not to look in. Therefore, ...
Realization comes in the form of reflection.

Life itself is a parody.
Why must you deprive yourself of happiness when you know you ought to have happiness?

I miss him

2009-02-20T10:32:00.002+08:00

I am down... I feel like crying... I miss my father so much....

God, can you please give my father back to me?

I want him so much...

I'm a Greedy Bitch which is Generous. I'm OXYMORON!

2009-02-16T14:14:00.003+08:00

Humans are basically greedy. They are a predator in their own lives, preying on their dreams, desires, ambitions, goals, etc. At the same time, they are preys for their own greed, success, recognition. We are never satisfied with our way of living. When we possess something, we feel that other things are better. There, the famous maxim goes "The grass is always greener on the other side."

Like other human beings, I wish I have the ability to bend time. Let's just say, I'm not greedy to ask for more than 24 hours a day, but I am greedy having to want 24 hours a day when I have heaps of assignments to be done, having great time with my friends and so on, generous enough to give my extra hours to someone when I have a boring time. Isn't it great to have transfer of hours? It's like when your friend is having an exam and he needs the extra hours, wouldn't it be great if he can have the hours of yours and you have the hours of his when he's free and you are busy?

Hmmm...I think it will be complicated in that way. Take me for example, I am not calculative and I am not good in Maths so in the long run I will be confused on how many hours do one owe me and how many hours do I owe them. Exam time will go haywire because people either will arrive late or early due to the difference in one's time. I would say God has given what he thinks the best. The best thing to do is to manage my time and not to be overly creative to think of something impossible which consumes much of my time.

It's 2.32pm. My assignments are as boundless as the sea. If only I could make artificial day out of real night... I'm so over exerting my situation.

Here's the thing. I do have heaps of assignments to do but they aren't as boundless as the sea.

Here's my hatelist:
1) Language Learning and Language Use assignment which is going to due this Thursday.
2) Teaching Drama assignment on Romeo and Juliet which will make me speak all types of Shakespearen if I'm going to delve deep into it. This assignment has met its deadline and I'm here babbling bout it.
3) Teaching Drama assignment of Triffles and A Jury of Her Peers. The deadline is tomorrow and I haven't even touched on it!!!
4) Etika Perguruan assignment which I know nuts about what I'm going to do. Deadline is before April Fool to remind me this is real and it's not a prank or something which means I gotta get my hands or fingers on it soon.
5) Drama 1 assignment on Shakespearean Language. Okay, after this I can tell everyone proudly that I have gone in depth about reading Shakespearean works.

Fine, all heavy assignments. I have the soul of a lead!

Before the beginning of the semester, I was altogether too free and I wished I had more to do. Now, am I satisfied with this waves of assignments that will drown me any minute? No! Next time, I am not going to wish. Remind me or else I'll have to tattooed it on my eyelids.

Beautiful Stranger

2009-02-04T17:15:00.002+08:00

He was clad in his faded red tee that subtly accentuating his well-toned arms. His body hugging, vintage style of clothing made me stole glances admiring his sexy back. Awwww, the afternoon sun was shining on his beautifully suntanned skin making me salivating eventhough this guy wearing the most primitive type of flip-flops.

Before thy name spoken,
we parted.
In silence shall I wait,
I secret shall we meet.

2009-02-02T19:46:00.002+08:00

The sky is falling!

It's full moon!

And so were all the other thoughts in my head when I see her warming up her chair to 37 degree Centigrade for more than 2 hours without her laptop blasting with Big Bang's songs- her latest addiction. She's plainly doing her assignment!

Maybe she's not my roommate. Maybe she's some kind of imposter.

If it's full moon today, she might act weird cuz she's turning into a werewolf!

Okay, if she's really my roommate...I might as well do something to distract and irritate her.

I will listen to my latest addiction over and over again. It's One Republic's All Fall Down.

All Fall Down Lyrics

Going back...

2009-02-01T22:25:00.002+08:00

Good time passes quickly. Moments with friends were filled laughter, moments with family were filled with so much love, hugs and kisses. There's always a goodbye. Maybe in a couple of more years I'll have wrinkles on my face, reminiscing about the good old days and I'll smile wryly at those precious fragments of memories.

In another 27 days I'm going to be in the wilderness, setting up the tent, cooking food using dried branches from the woods, drinking water from the river, etc. So, if suddenly I am lost somewhere and never ever got back to the right trail, there's nothing to be regretted coz I've tasted life.

Tomorrow I'll be going back to KL living the same mundane life. It's such a routine having to go to class everyday at the same time, taking out the same books, eating at the same cafetaria with same kind of dishes. It's so troublesome having to choose the kind of clothing to wear. These few days I had been hoping that I'm in secondary school again, I long to wear my pinafore to school.

Wouldn't it be great if we were allowed to wear completely anything to the faculty? Like if we were to wake up late, we arrived in lecture hall with our pyjamas. I think it would be fun if we have a different dress codes every day. For instance, Monday is pyjamas day, Tuesday is geeks day, Wednesday is punk style day and so on. Then, life in university is indeed a party.

Yeah, I'm going back tomorrow. I'll have no one to welcome me like Prosperous when I reach the place I live. I'll have no TV to watch or any place to go whe I am bored. I'll have no distraction and I'll be able to finish my assignments.

SS again

2009-01-30T19:29:00.003+08:00

DAYS IN COLLEGE
My waking hours are usually spent with me staring at the ceiling charging up enough energy so that my muscles will be able to move my body away from my bed. I have a busy life but I will always push aside my assignments until I have the urge to do it so ironically, I am actually not that busy. If you were to be my roommates, you will occasionally catch me daydreaming but in actual fact I am not because I am thinking of what am I going to do to have a life when I myself is life. Okay, enough with my words. See the picture above and you will figure out what I am trying to say since a picture can paint a thousand words.

THURSDAY NIGHT
I got back to my home on Thursday night. The journey back home was a great one. I spent my time gazing the stars and thinking about the things I can do with my boy ( hello Li Chin, you're single... ) in the future if I found one or if he found me. The minute I reached home, I took a nice, warm bath and unpacked my stuffs. I was lining up the assignments on my bed, making my schedule, feeling really exhausted the moment I realized I have to spend my holidays on assignments!!!

FIRST DAY OF CHINESE NEW YEAR
Like always we will wish our mom Gong Xi Fa Cai. Our smart Prosperous followed along and got a RM2 ang pow from my mom. Lucky her...she can buy herself a kilo of chicken liver!!!
Spent almost the whole day at my grandparents' house. Reaching home, I did what I like the best..SSGG. This is me trying to look seductive. Okay, I'm just trying...
Looking emo like always. Don't even need to try hard but I'm looking good with the emo look. See, I'm beautiful eventhough I am not smiling :P
My own reflection with my new dress. I do not wish to say this, so I chose to type this out. I am sometimes mesmerized by myself. TeeHeeHee:P
Arul's friend said I have the innocent look that reminded him of an Indian song. Funny lar that guy. So I'm innocent. That auntie said I look sweet. My former schoolmates said that I look more beautiful than before and I have put on weight. Chiz!!! Gave me a compliment then took it back by saying that I gained weight. I know they are jealous :P
I am pretty when I am lying down, standing up, looking emo and also when I am sticking up myself against the wall. Okay, I know y'all wana box me already. Can't help it. Sorry.

SECOND DAY OF CHINESE NEW YEAR
I accompanied my mom and my sister to the temple for prayers. I can't pray because of my menses so I took pictures and 'bai nien' with the koi fish.
Side view of myself at the passenger seat while waiting for my mom. If only I have longer eyelashes...aiseh.
This picture reminds me of what William commented on me that I have small eyes, a nose that is not sharp enough, etc etc. All bad comments... Ey William, you wana tarnish my self-confidence is it?

FIFTH DAY OF CHINESE NEW YEAR
Okay, I visited most of my former schoolmates' houses. Got five red pao toi tois, RM8 from gambling. They taught me to play 'pat ka luk' and 'ya yat tim'. I still don't really know how to play but managed to win. Aiya, just take those money since they say I win.

Tomorrow I am going to visit houses again. My former schoolmates invited me to gamble again tomorrow night. I won't be going. I have to do my assignments.

Happy Chinese NIU Year everyone! Hope y'all work like a cow and I senang-lenang :P

The Little Kid On My Face

2009-01-20T21:47:00.003+08:00

Something was hanging on my lecturer's beard this morning and Arul just couldn't stop talking about it. It was distracting like the beard was playing yoyo or something, so I chose to stare at my book instead of looking at him.

Physical appearance has been a thing that we spent most of our time enhancing it.

Take me for instance, I simply couldn't count how many times I comb my hair in a day, how many times have I looked at the mirror and how many times have I glanced at my reflection at any windows and so on. It's not that I wanna say that I am such a beauty-concious freak cuz I am not. All I am trying to say here is that people place an utmost importance on their physical appearance.

Unfortunately, for people like me, hormones play quite a significant role in my appearance. When it is almost the time of the month, you'll see the most ugly side of me. Not only my mood goes haywire, my pimples also come popping out and worst of all I will suffer from BO for a few days. Luckily there is this invention called anti-perspirant spray or roll-on (whatever you are using) to make my armpits fresh most of the time.

I have this little pimple above my lips with puss!!! It's karma I tell you, it's karma!!! I had been teasing Fengy about his huge mega-pimple and now I got a new pimple on my face!!! I wonder when I talk, does this little pimple moves along up and down, up and down it goes? It's like a little kid jumping happily on my face above my lips except that it is not a cute kid. It's an unsightly one.

The yoyo thing on my lecturer's beard is removable but not my pimple. Unless if I poke it of course. They say poking it will cause scaring. I think I will just leave the little kid on my face for a few days. It will go off once it's bored of its playground which is my face.

Gathering...Former schoolmates...Differences...

2009-01-18T19:34:00.002+08:00

I didn't really feel like going out today because I have yet to finish reading my Shakespearean play- King Lear act 2. Considering that tomorrow's my friend's birthday and one of my new year resolutions is to make time for my family and friends, I decided to go.

Went to Neway, sang our hearts out at the same time took our lunch there as well. Then, I went to Borders to look for Dr. Faustus and The Country Wife ( it's either I'm blind or they don't have what I'm looking for ) while 3 of them went to buy Yee Yuen's present ( Body Shop perfume ). Yada...yada...yada...yada...

That's not the point here.

For 2 years, we have been apart. Wen Ping and Ling Qiao are in UKM, Jin Hong in UTAR, Sze Zhong in MMU and Yee Yuen graduated from HELP. It took less than 2 years for me and them to be so different.

When we were singing, all they chose was Chinese songs while I chose only English songs. They sang together in Chinese while most of the time I sang all by myself for my selected English songs.

They like to shop in ROMP while I spent my time shopping in Nichii. Go to the shop and you'll know what I am talking about.

The topics that we have in our minds are different. Considering that I don't read newspaper that often, I don't really know what they are talking about. So, after every gathering with them, I feel really shallow. They talk about shares, recession - business talk. Can someone please crack my head and put in all the business info into my brain???

In my school years, I felt lonely cuz I couldn't find someone that could really click with me on the same wavelength. I'm contented they I've found a bunch of good friends in uni.

Crush My Brain...See What's Inside.

2009-01-16T19:23:00.003+08:00

It's 25 minutes past 7. I've two assignments I have yet to begin doing it. Here I'm brewing coffee for myself at this hour. I'm wasting my time because I don't know what I should I do next. All I know is that I should stay up till it's late tonight to do one of my assignments- to finish one of them.

The topic that I got from my so-called lucky pick for my Etika Perguruan is none other than "Nilai-nilai Murni Malaysia". I was so happy yesterday when I got that as my topic. I could even jump up and down at that time but when I'm sitting down here trying to write something for assignment, I can't get anything out of my head. The topic is just too broad to begin with. I should be able to narrow it down rite??? Oh gosh, I just feel like cracking my own skull and take out my brain with my bare hands just to feel the slimy feeling, to see what's wrong with it, and just crush it on my table like any jellies!

The second assignmnet is how I acquire my 1st, 2nd and third languages. Aiyo, I don't even want to begin doing this when I can't sort out what I have to do for Etika Perguruan assignment.

Another 2 minutes I'll call up Ching Lee for a good advice how to begin doing my assignments...

I am anticipating this Chinese New Year break. I want to get back to Kuantan to rejuvenate and find the purpose in my life. Right now, I'm a wreck.

Things that I want to do back in Kuantan:
1) Go to the beach in the morning. Bask in the morning sun, feel the tiny sand under my feet, sit and be close to nature. I don't know why but I can think clearly what I should do with my life when I am by the seaside. Maybe because the fact that I'm a Piscean.

2) Visit my friends and relatives to get more angpows. More money to do crowning.

3) Cuddle with Prosperous.

4) Make sure my brother and sister do their revision.

5) On the laptop so loud so that I can SS in my room. Dance around, jump on the bed just to get scolded by my mom :) This is way too nice!

Something Dear To Me

2009-01-14T19:29:00.004+08:00

Basically, I know how to differentiate between an expensive car and not-so-expensive ones. It's a quality that most women have because most of us are deemed materialistic by guys but truly I think we're just being a realist. Besides that, I know how to check for engine oil, clutch oil, break oil, water level, battery water level, and I know how to pump a tyre and petrol into the car. Sad to say, that's all I know about cars.

For someone who knows very little about car, admiring a car and dreaming one day to own a sleek cute car is really a big thing. Hello, I'm talking about myself here.

In the near future, when you see a beautiful brunette haired girl wearing a bug-eyes sunglasses on the road with this red Volkswagen New Beetles, turn your head and look again cuz all you'll see is me!

While in the black Volkswagen New Beetles, you'll see a big haired girl, half as beautiful as me, clad in a black outfit is Arul! I'm just joking , Arul... please please... do imagine my stone-face.
While in the black, stylish and posh black Volkswagen New Beetles, you'll see a beautiful Indian girl clad with her low-cut leopard-print dress, hair permed into sexy curls, smiling confidently is the late TESLian student sometime TESLian in UM, Arul in very high heels. Hopefully, she won't trip. She is not a gymnast, she can't walk in heels like mine.

It's 2009. 2011 is coming in a blink of an eye. Hopefully all my batchmates will achieve something. I just feel that when we were highschool students, results were our measurement of success. Now that we are in universities, success comes in many forms. Eventhough, all the stars are shining bright, lighting up your path, if you don't work hard, eventually you'll deviate from that bright path.

I've succeeded if I:
1) Have time to spend with my loving family. Keep my family united. Sister and brother go to university.
2) Teach with sincerity, patience and enthusiasm and my students repay me back with all their schoolworks done, their never-ending understanding with what I'm teaching, and they respect me.
3) Give tuition so that I can earn extra money to fund my sister and brother for their tertiery education. I'll give free tuition to those who are poor.
4) Am healthy, my family is healthy. That's the most important thing so that they can ride in my Volkswagen New Beetles.
5) Have enough money to bring them to Korea during autumn, Harbin during winter, Australia during summer and Japan during spring.

If I become a spinster, then in my 30s, I'll just do my master and then my pHD...

Dun laugh, I know y'all are laughing!!!

If heartbreak is inevitable...

2009-01-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

I got my heart broken before. I recalled myself lying on the bed, not moving for a few hours, replaying and replaying back all those sweet and sour memories. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what ifs. I made myself flashed back over and over again until I got tired and numbed. Still, I couldn't bring myself to get up from my bed and to stop crying. The world didn't stop for a wreck like me and I had spent the entire week or month on auto-pilot mode because I didn't want my family to think there must be something wrong with me.

Today is one of those days that make me feels like I've been chucked by someone. Yeah, minus the crying part and the void in my heart. I feel like I am the raisin drying under the scorching sun, the meat that rots in a humid weather or maybe I am the zombie searching for something to feast on. But to feast on what? Food? Guys? Omigod, I am speaking as though I am ready to get laid!

I just feel totally incapable of doing anything productive. My spoken language is full of grammatical mistakes, I can't find any suitable to express what's on my mind. Worst of all, I told Arul that I'm going to go to the washroom to release myself instead of to relief myself. Oh gosh!!! That's terrible...

In my proficiency class, we were talking about this topic about giving and volunteering, it just made me realized I hadn't done any good deeds for as long as I could recall. Yeah, I am giving grammar lesson to someone but I am always a mischievous kid so he ended up with his nails coated with my nail polish.

In my drama class, there is this versatile lecturer. His spoken language is so good till I can't detect any grammatical errors. I am all green with envy!

The sky is dark now. My food is already half-way digested. I think in a few minutes more I am off to bed.

Anna told me how boring if someone's blog just mainly talks about her studies and life. Mine is like that today because I am just too exhausted to crack a joke.

Something is wrong with my mitochondria. They help in releasing as much energy in my teenage years. I am old, too old to even be funny today.

I'll go... I'm going... bye

Every Reason To Celebrate

2009-01-11T00:14:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but I am finding a reason to celebrate each of my passing day.

I don't want my days to be wasted on ASSignments, lectures...there's gotta be more to life. Yeah, just like Stacie Orrico's song.

I am looking for reasons to anticipate each breaking dawn.

Here are the reasons to celebrate life, Cheers!!!

JANUARY 2009
11 - Step in a puddle and splash you friend's day
12 - Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day
13 - Make Your Dream Comes True Day (: Lih Yoong's Birthday :)
14 - Dress up your pet day
15 - National Hat Day
16 - National Nothing Day
17 - Ditch New Year Resolutions Day
18 - Winnie The Pooh Day
19 - National Popcorn Day (: Yee Yuen's Birthday :)
20 - Penguin Awareness Day (: Huei Minn's Birthday :)
21 - National Hugging Day
22 - National Blonde Brownie Day
23 - National Pie Day
24 - Beer Can Appreciation Day
25 - Opposite Day
26 - Spouse's Day
27 - Chocolate Cake Day
28 - Fun At Work Day
29 - National Cornchip Day
30 - National Inane Answering Machine Day
31 - Inspire Your Heart with Art Day

FEBRUARY 2009
01 - National Freedom Day
02 - Ground Hog Day
03 - The Day The Music Died
04 - Thank a Mailman Day
05 - National Weatherman's Day
06 - Lame Duck Day
07 - Send A Card To A Friend Day
08 - Kite Flying Day
09 - Toothache Day (: Victor's Birthday :)
10 - Umbrella Day
11 - Make A Friend Day
12 - Plum Pudding Day
13 - Blame Someone Else's Day
14 - Valentine's Day
15 - Singles Awareness Day
16 - Do A Grouch A Favour Day
17 - Random Act of Kindness Day
18 - National Battery Day
19 - National Chocolate Mint Day
20 - Love Your Pet Day
21 - Card Reading Day
22 - International World Thinking Day (: LI CHIN'S BIRTHDAY!!! :)
23 - International Dog Appreciation Day (: Gui Chan's Birthday! :)
24 - National Tortilla Chip Day
25 - Pistol Patent Day
26 - Tell a Fairy Tale Day
27 - No Brainer Day
28 - National Tooth Fairy Day

MARCH 2009
01 - National Pig Day
02 - Old Stuff Day
03 - I Want You To Be Happy Day
04 - Holy Experiment Day
05 - Multiple Personality Day
06 - Dentist's Day
07 - National Crown Roast of Pork Day
08 - Be Nasty Day
09 - Panic Day
10 - Middle Name Pride Day
11 - Worship of Tools' Day
12 - Plant A Flower Day
13 - Jewel Day
14 - White Valentine's Day
15 - Incredible Kid Day
16 - Everything You Do Is Right Day
17 - Saint Patrick's Day
18 - Goddess of Fertility Day
19 - Poultry Day
20 - International Earth Day
21 - Fragrance Day
22 - National Goof Off Day
23 - National Chip and Dip Day
24 - National Choc Covered Raisin Day
25 - Waffle Day
26 - Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
27 - National 'Joe' Day
28 - Something On A Stick Day
29 - National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day
30 - Take A Walk In The Park Day
31 - National Clam On The Half Shell Day

APRIL 2009
01 - April Fool's Day
02 - National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
03 - Don't Go To Work Unless It's A Fun Day Day
04 - Tell A Lie Day
05 - Go For Broke Day
06 - Plan Your Epitaph Day
07 - No Housework Day
08 - Draw A Picture Of A Bird Day
09 - Name Yourself Day
10 - National Siblings Day
11 - Barbershop Quartet Day
12 - Big Wind Day
13 - Scrabble Day
14 - International Moment of Laughter Day
15 - Titanic Remembrance Day
16 - National Stress Awareness Day
17 - Blah, Blah, Blah Day
18 - Pet Owner's Independence Day
19 - National Garlic Day
20 - Volunteer's Recognition Day
21 - Kindergarten Day
22 - National Jelly Bean Day
23 - Lover's Day
24 - Pig In A Blanket Day
25 - World Penguin Day
26 - Hug An Australian Day
27 - Tell A Story Day
28 - Great Poetry Reading Day
29 - Greenery Day
30 - Hairstyle Appreciation Day

MAY 2009
01 - Loyalty Day
02 - Brothers and Sisters Day
03 - World Press Freedom Day
04 - Bird Day
05 - Oyster Day
06 - No Diet Day
07 - National Tourism Day
08 - No Socks Day
09 - Lost Sock Memorial Day
10 - Clean Up Your Room Day
11 - Twilight Zone Day
12 - Fatigue Syndrome Day
13 - Leprechaun Day
14 - Dance Like A Chicken Day
15 - National Choc Chip Day
16 - Wear Purple For Peace Day
17 - Pack Rat Day
18 - International Museum Day
19 - Boy's Club Day
20 - Pick Strawberries Day
21 - National Memo Day
22 - Buy A Musical Instrument Day
23 - International Jazz Day
24 - National Escargot Day
25 - Tap Dance Day
26 - Sally Ride Day
27 - Sunscreen Day
28 - Amnesty International Day
29 - ???
30 - Water A Flower Day
31 - World No Tobacco Day

JUNE...JULY...AUGUST...SEPTEMBER...NOVEMBER...DECEMBER...to be continued

Li Chin's Emotions

2009-01-10T10:44:00.003+08:00

When I was clad in my small school uniform, I spent most of my childhood playing at the playground. I loved the swings, I could feel the air brushed against my delicate skin and the word freedom was just a swing away. Then again, this explains why my mood is swinging like a maniac. I loved the swings so much so that I got my finger twisted in bad shape.

When I got tired of the swings, I would sit on the see-saw. Up and down, up and down I went and sometimes I just played till I got blue-black on my butt. It was the joy that concealed everything back then.

Moved on to the slides, I loved them too. My butt sore from playing it. What I am trying to say here is that, playground is like my life. It gives me the joy but sometimes it hurts. Even though it hurts, I will just continue playing because the moment you stop trying, it's the moment you stop growing.

Profound huh? In other word, I am trying to state that my mood is like the share market. It goes up and down. Don't invest in me cuz I am unstable, unreliable and I will make you ride the emotional roller-coaster with me. If you love challenge, you can join me.

Why? Cuz you can never predict what's on my mind, what are my moves next and etc. I am difficult.

Okay, I'm rambling here but I've got a point. This morning I got up feeling confused. I dreamt that I being a guy trying to save a girl. I am not a guy, I am a girl. When we grow up, we tend to ask who are we that we don't get to know yet. So tell me, is this a dream telling me that I am going to end up liking someone of the same sex or it is revealing to me that I am so strong that sometimes I am like a man?

Although I am in a confused state of mind, I am still capable of teaching my friend grammar. He got more than 5 mistakes when he was doing my test. So, he ended up with 5 of his nails coated with my nail polish. Funny guy... Awwww, he's so cute!!! Btw, the above picture is not his nails.

Li Chin's Angst

2009-01-09T19:36:00.002+08:00

I feel an intense hatred towards myself and everything around me. I feel that my blood is boiling, temperature is rising and I can even burst all the capillaries in my body because of all this huge pressure inside that wants to be out. I am turning into a fiery monster. I can annihilate anyone that crosses my line.

I wanted to knock down someone's door, slash him, hear him scream with agonizing pain. I want to see the blood oozes out from his body. I want him to cry sorry. Then I will punch him over and over again. Punch him till my knuckles bleed, till my knuckles ache. I want to pull his hair and hurl him to bang against the wall so hard till it cracks his skull. Lastly, I will laugh a monstrous laugh, annihilate him. Burn him, watch him crisp to death!!!!!

At the same time, I hope there's alcohol in front of me. I want that bitter tasting liquid to soothe my throat, my desire to be what I am not. The desire to be crazy, out of my mind for a little while so that I can forget about the world and just have fun with my friends. Just hoo-haa for the night cuz it's Friday.

Then again, where's my friend? Why do I seem to have time and place for everyone? Why don't they have time for me?

A sudden realization that I've been too good to everyone. A sudden realization that my life is just like an empty space. A sudden realization that I've created a vortex that sucks me in and no one seems to be finding me because no matter how hard I cry, no matter how hard I shout, I seem to be million miles away. Or I'm totally in a different dimension.

Although I am stucked in my own vortex, I want to congratulate William because OCBC has accepted him for his Industrial Training. Congratulations...can u even hear me???...

Lord Byron's and Edgar Allan Poe's poems

2009-01-07T20:06:00.002+08:00

I've a soft spot for poems now. Perhaps I should just download all this poems and print it out so I can read it as my bed-time treat. I never like newspapers but I can never get tired of good poems, blogs, prose, etc etc. Maybe I will come to like plays too...

That's something that differentiate between me and Arul. She loves non-fictions and I am a sucker for fictions...

WHEN WE TWO PARTED by Lord Byron

HEN we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow--
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me--
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Lond, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

I secret we met--
I silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM by Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

When I was a Child and Now

2009-01-07T07:39:00.006+08:00

I am born a multitasker. When I was in primary school, I will line up my homework, for instance, there are homework for Maths, Science, BM and those that need to be pasted. I would do a bit of Maths, then I moved on to Science, BM and all the papers that need to be glued. My mother had always complained about how messy I was back then. It was like I was there with all those books encircling around me, kinda like I was meditating. Well, it managed to bring me to UM, so this multitasking didn't quite backfire.

Here I am, multitasking again. I am blogging. At the same time, I am eating and drinking Milo as fast as I can because there is this mosquitoes sprayer outside. Beside that, I am chatting with Anna, reading e-news and getting ready to class.

I don't know why sometimes time seems to be moving real fast and sometimes it is moving at the speed of a tortoise. However, I am quite sure that these few days, the clock is ticking fast cuz 24 hours is just not enough for me. Haiz, I don't know...it seems like when you're growing older, there are just more priorities in life.

I am struggling to get hold of everything now. Getting hold of the Shakespearean language in King Lear, getting to like to read the newspaper so I won't be like the frog under the coconut shell, memorizing the moves in my traditional Chinese dance, and I need to take care of my own well-being... there's just so much that I have to take care of and that includes playing pranks on people when I have the chance.

Unhygenic Part of Me

2009-01-04T09:03:00.002+08:00

I think I'm a guy in a girl's body. It's unsightly to see a girl with hairy legs, hairy armpit and with unibrow. My legs' hair is growing but I don't pluck them. My armpits' hair is growing too and it's like seeing little cacti growing on my own body. My eyebrows are out of shape. I'm a hairy monster! I'm... GROSS!!! I've chapped nail polish on my nails...

That's the story about what a mess I am. Let's move on to my room. I've got 2 pails of clothing to wash! My desk is like a guy's desk. It's also inhabited with ants. Tiny little ants that would bite me if I am not aware. I have not fold my comforter yet. My pillow is on the other side of the bed and my white hippo which my mom named it as Tai Ong Pong is sleeping like a lizard.

That's about my room. Moving on to my studies. I have not looked for the books Dr.Juliana mentioned, I have not read the book Mr.Templer asked us to read, etc etc. I have finished reading Romeo and Juliet but I didn't quite enjoy it because the language is just too easy! I must read the more difficult one because the English is just too beautiful.

Today, I must not waste any of my time!
10:00 - 11:00 Pluck my legs' hair
11:00 - 11:30 Wash 1 pail of my clothing
11:30 - 12:00 Pluck my armpits' hair
12:00 - 13:00 Lunch
13:00 - 14:00 Shape my eyebrow
14:00 - 16:00 Watch a movie
16:00 - 17:30 Clean my room
17:30 - 18:00 Bath
18:00 - 19:00 Dinner
19:00 - 22:00 Revision

I am worried if I don't finish this...

My New Year Resolution

2009-01-02T21:28:00.003+08:00

1. With classes start only at 9.30am, I will continue to be a dedicated student. I will not skip any classes this semester unless I am sick of course.

2. I will take good notes. I will have one book or one file for each of the courses I take this semester.

3. I will have my own study group because I am able to absorb stuffs that I have read like a sponge when I function in my own study group.
(Make a mental note to inform the 3A fellars about this study group)

4. All my assignments in my previous semester, I have really put my heart and soul into doing them and Mr. Bill Templer keeps a copy of it because he thinks it's great. This semester I will continue to do a great job because I thrive on As.

5. I will involve myself in one of the campus activities and in one or two residential college's activities.

6. I will budget my spending. I will go shopping twice a month because shopping always make me broke. I will try my best to wash my clothes using my own bare hands instead of using the machine so that I'll be able to save RM10 in one month.

7. With only 17 credit hours per week, I will hunt for a job so that I can breed money in my bank account. Secondly, I will be able to make myself occupied.

8. I will read newspaper everyday, CLEO every month and I will have at least 4 posts posted up in my blog per week. I will continue to speak English in my faculty to become a fluent speaker and also to prove it to our lecturers that we are good!

9. I will dress up presentably to my faculty. I will put on a bit of make up to make Miss Oh-I'm-So-Fashionable shut up.

10. I will control my temper. Ward off EmoLiChin and Li Chin the walking zombie on auto-pilot mode.

11. Will continue be loving and do more charity. I don't do one when people ask for money and chances are I will get more staring that I am a cruel bitch again.

12. Take care of my skin, my lips, my hair and my health.

13. Make more time for friends and family.

##I found this on CurryEgg's blog. Would really like to share it with y'all.##
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Recap

2009-01-02T19:28:00.002+08:00

This year does not begin with what I've expected. Well, this is life. If it's so damn predictable, then it will not be fun anymore. Sometimes, we need to feel more happiness, tiny bit of sadness, surprises, disappointment, all the spices of life to make us human. So, flaws are okay because humans are imperfect by nature.

Or you can call me a psychotic nuts because when life is running too smooth for me, I will tend to create havoc. For instance, my dating experience. When we were all good and lovey-dovey, I would find faults with him so that we quarrel, I would feel really really angry but I enjoy seeing messages from him coming in begging for forgiveness, blah blah blah. And you guess...at last, he was being with my friend. Serve me right! But he wasn't that good...it was not a good catch...better let the fish go than to let him die of endless torture. When I was in secondary school, I was what they named me - a player.

I need a closure, a recap, self-evaluation I will call it.

2008 had truly been a year I would remember. Why?
1) Just as I thought I will be a spinster, someone expressed liking in me. It didn't go far though.
2) I got a B for my proficiency test. Congratulations to me cuz it was and it still is a pain in the ass which is constantly reminding me I really need to buck up or I will end up failing. Failure is not an option. I refuse to give in to failure!
3) I am sick before and during the new year. My 1st time celebrating new year eve in a place packed with people. When everyone else was enjoying the new year eve, I was being a pampered girl by kinda getting angry cuz it was stuffy, smelly and noisy... did I mention dirty?
4) I got an A in one of my papers and I get a free meal :P
...it's gonna be an endless list if I am going to list out like this...let's make it more systematic.

Failure:
1) A relationship.
2) Lecturers are commenting us that we are the worst batch of TESL students.
3) My CGPA dropped 0.02.
4) I am not a good dance troope leader.
5) I have moods like disastrous weather. They should name a cyclone after me.
6) I got sick before the new year and on the new year.
7) I am too independent and I think I'm more independent than half of the guys I know which is not a good think because I tend to look down on people.
8) I can only be on the same wavelength with my bunch of friends not my roommates.

Success:
1) I put 100% into doing good assignments. Bill Templer likes it and he keeps a copy of it- the original copy.
2) I got B in proficiency test.
3) I blog... which is good for my essay writing, good for people to know what's on my mind.
4) Slightly better GPA. An A for the paper that gives me good meal to eat :P
5) Able to ask Anna to produce more movies, for my speaking and listening.
6) The most successful thing is that I have is that I have found my bunch of good friends. The fact is, I don't really have friends like this before. I found my so-called the other half bcuz she knows what is on my mind, Anna and Anna are the most bising ones, William the driver :P

Indifferent

2008-12-31T10:47:00.004+08:00

I never celebrated new year with friends before. It seems like I have to celebrate it again on my own since my health is not going to allow me to have an enjoyable moment. Let's just say with the cough, runny nose and sore throat I am having now, the picture of me ushering the new year doesn't fit at all.

I feel numb today. From the head to toe I feel numb. It is almost like spider webs are wrapping around my body. My condition is better than yesterday though. Yesterday I spent most of my time on the bed. Well, thanks to William for driving me to SS2, Anna and Alan for accompanying along. It's really great to have friend that can go through with me the thick and thin of life.

I skipped one of my class yesterday and it was Etika Perguruan because I was feeling really really cold. I even bathed under the sun on my way back with Alan to get more warmth.

Yesterday class begun with an awful comment from Dr. Juliana. She was saying this was the worst TESLian batch. She said that she was afraid that some of us might not graduate on time, some of us might find ourselves drowning deeper in the ocean, etc etc. Most of my friends felt disheartened with those comments but nevertheless I felt quite indifferent. Maybe my sickness has gotten to my brain.

It was not that different in today's proficiency class. Puan Nina said when she was marking on our essays, she just couldn't believe those were the essays written by her bunch of TESL students. Arul was feeling quite disappointed and she asked me are we that bad... Sadly to say, most of us are that bad. I am kinda in between though- not that good, not that bad either. I still feel indifferent. Maybe because of the medicines that make me numb. I feel I was walking on the air...feel light.

When I regain back my health, I would buck up...really really buck up. I need to get into the Dean's List.

An Unusual Conversation

2008-12-29T15:21:00.002+08:00

"I will wanna share my life with you for eternity."

Okay, push that thought for a little while. I will be glad if somebody is willing enough to share or trade his health for a few days. Let's just share one organ with me, will you? I will put you under G.A. and you exchange your nose with me. For some reasons, I am just sick of having running nose. I promise I will clean the mucous first before I stuck my nose on your face.

"I will be with you till death do us apart."

Sickness, I know I am the perfect one for you. But, love is a two-way street and I just want you to know that you're not my cup of virus, bacteria, whatever bad ass you are. Though they say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai' (girls do not love guys that aren't bad), you're just not man enough for me because you can't protect me but make me sick.

"I will love you forever."

You're cheating on me because you courted my roommate as well. She's having running nose too. And for that reason, I have a good cause to break up with you. You're a two, three, uncountable timing monster!

"It's your Christmas present."

Christmas is over, dear. I bought myself rolls of toilet paper and I will blow you out, blow you away and you're tossed!!!

"You make my world goes round."

The Earth is always spinning. I am breaking up with you, just stop bothering me okay?

"Fine, no one is indispensable of anyone! I am moving on to deflower another body!"

Oh please, as if the nose is a virgin...

Blogger's Block

2008-12-28T23:09:00.002+08:00

I have this disease called Blogger's Block. I don't have the ideas on the stuffs to write. I can write but I wanna blog bout something that matters- an article which is good.

Cruel Bitch

2008-12-24T07:46:00.002+08:00

Oopss, I am back to Kuantan again! With my money running low, I can just loaf around in college, waiting my mom to pick me up to Ipoh but nah... I worried about her. Let's just say I worried she might be too tired to drive, I worried that she is lost somewhere in KL, etc etc.

So, yesterday morning, I was packing real fast and then I headed off to Pudu. Roads was congested with cars and unluckily for me, I reached Pudu at 9.10 am, which means I have to buy the 10.30 am bus. It was fine for me so I just find a place to sit and waited for my bus for one hour plus. Yeah again, this is not the main point here...

The main point here is that, while I was patiently waiting for my bus, came a guy who was asking me to donate. While he was opening his file for me to see all the pictures of unlucky kids, I said no to him. I said that I won't donate and his eyes... Y'all really have to see his eyes. It had the intensity there saying I am a cruel bitch!

I am not a stingy person. I have donated RM5 to that same guy who asked me to donate 6 months ago. After I donated, I was hoping for a thank you and what he told me was, "Y'all peninsular Malaysia people really do not have the heart to help those people in need, what can 5 bucks make a difference?"

My 5 bucks may not make a big difference but his attitude might have made a big difference. People would feel stupid to donate because their help are not appreciated. So, who will donate again?

I really wanted to help but his attitude just pissed me off.

My State Of Mind

2008-12-22T17:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I am given too much time to be alone with myself, I tend to have multiple personality. Sometimes, I'll be really really childish and I'll tie my hair into two ponypails...I mean ponytails and I will start to jump here and there in my room as if I'm a kid again. At times, when I am alone, I tend to chat with another 2 people but the weird thing is that 2 people are me and myself. Call me a weirdo or psycho but I still like to chat with myself... However, it isn't always healthy to chat with myself. I tend to feel down when I am dominated by the EmoLichin.

So, those few days I was down...not seriously down but down. I was having too much time till I wasn't sure how to fill up those time. Those days, I usually sat on my bed and set my eyes on the window cuz I wasn't sure what to do next. I ended up cleaning my whole wardrobe, clearing those things under the bed, wiped the windows...I even wiped my roommate's window, wiped the fan, swept the floor and I even did what I dreaded the most which was mopping the floor.

Today, out of the blue, I feel really really happy. That's the main point. I am grinning from ear to ear and I myself not sure why. I skipped my lunch because the queue at the clinic was really really long and yet I am on cloud nine. Maybe because the dermatologist (Dr. Chin) told me my skin condition is getting better. Or maybe because I bought a new blouse today. Yes, i am running low on money and guess what...I am wasting money on that blouse.

I have no idea why I feel so happy and bright today instead of dark and twisted. I even took the long way back to college. The bus stopped me at MC and I walked back. It was sunny but then the way the sun shone on my skin and the December breeze stroking my hair made me feels light like a bird's feather.

I am thankful for some of the little things in life that are free...
1) I am glad that I have a bunch of close friends that are always there for me.
2) I am happy that it's always summer in Malaysia.
3) I feel comfortable in the place I am staying. It's beautiful shades the moment you set your feet outside. It gives you the chance to exercise when you climb uphill and go downhill towards campus.
4) I am contented that I have a loving and supportive family. Papa, no matter how far you are, I believe you always see me from afar, taking good care of me. I love you:)
5) There are so many beautiful things in life if you can just open up yourself to see how beautiful the world is...and sometimes, you too have the power to beautify the world. I say, when you see someone that is unfortunate than you, help them paint their lives :) YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!

So Much Time...

2008-12-20T08:51:00.002+08:00

I am a confused soul. When I am busy, I'll be hoping for more time for myself and when I have all the time that I want, I'll be hoping to be busy.

People say that I think too much and I think they view me as a negative person more than how negatively I view myself. The thing with me is that sometimes I can be quite a serene thing to look at but sometimes I am a wreck. So, I am kinda in between. If you do the Math, (serene + wreck) / 2, I am equivalent to neutral. By mean of Chemistry, I am neutral which is good cuz I don't react with acid nor alkaline...which makes me stable...see, I AM STABLE!!!

With all the waking hours I have, I have done 3 personality tests...The 1st one is the Draw A Pig test which is quite cute :)

I think my pig is way too cute!!!

So the result that I have uploaded is kinda blurred. The pig which is at the middle to the page means I am a realist. See, I've been telling y'all I am not a negative person. I am a realist, I think of both positive and negative stuffs. The pig which I drew is facing front. This makes me a direct person. I am neither fear nor do I avoid discussion which is GOOD!!! I think the pig that I have drawn has many detail cuz it has all the part of a pig and means I am analytical, cautious and distrustful. Very true!!! I am insecure an I am going through a period of major change cuz the pig has only 2 legs. It has medium sized ears which makes me a good listener. Y'all can tell me ur problems cuz it says here that I listen :) Unfortunately, I drew a short tail...so I don't have good sex life...which is good now cuz I amm not looking forward to it YET.

I am bad in uploading things...again this is blur...This test is about the animals you will sacrifice to survive ina desert. At 1st I sacrifice the Lion then the Monkey. Later, I sacrifice da Sheep, the Cow and finally I keep the horse. So I sacrifice my pride 1st, then my children which is not good...which parents will sacrifice their child? i sacrifice my friendship, basic needs but I still keep my passion...ADUHAI!!!

I will re-edit this later...Right now I will do my resume 1st...for my job. i need money!

Moodiness

2008-12-19T08:35:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was indeed not my day. The bus that I had boarded was one hour late. I just couldn't put my bag on the floor because it was a Hush Puppies bag and ended up my arms didn't really feel like my own arms. It was somebody else's arm, somebody who was older than me.

It didn't bother me quite yet waiting for one whole hour for the bus. What made me pissed of was breathing in the contaminated air when the driver smoked in the bus. My lungs were pumped in with chemicals that might cause me to have lung cancer. It was yesterday night, after chatting with Anna and Alan that I noticed that I had 3 new pimples growing on my cheek.

So, when I reached Pudu, like always I boarded Metro 12 to go back to college. Oh my, as if my day wasn't bad enough. I listened to a man scolding his wife all the way till the bus dropped me off at the bus stop opposite KFC. He was scolding his wife for giving too much money for the girl to spend instread of giving her money to pay for rental. Damn, as much as we love money, money too are causing hell lots of problems.

Nevertheless, when I reached college, that man gave me the key to my own room, not any other rooms but my own room. Nice! So I can start to clean up and tidy up my room now for my new semester.

But then again, this moody monster started to grip me again. I don't know why. This always occurs to me whenever I have too much time but nothing to spend my time on. I started to feel regret coming back for FESENI. Only 3 fellars are here. Dang! Caught up with my own mood swings, my attitude wasn't that good towards Anna and Alan. It's unfortunate for y'all having this kinda friend whose mood is like da weather. Sorry...

Omg, did I mention that I am sick? Right now the mucus is going to come out from my nose. I will re-edit this post later. Damn...must be that fellar's perfume!

I've re-editted...

Missing home already

2008-12-18T01:03:00.002+08:00

It's 1am now. I going to go back to KL soon but I haven't even have the drive to pack my things. I don't wana go back. I wana stay right here with my family and Prosperous.

I don't wana go back...

Don't wana go back...

Don't want...

Can I?

Pls..

:(

Ah, life!!!

2008-12-18T00:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I really look forward to a gathering with my former schoolmates. I will dress up nicely, paint my nails, blow my hair, etc etc just to show my friends how much I have changed.

Quite recently, I have been wondering, do I really have to look changed? Is it significant? Does the higher you climb, the more fashionable you are, the less cloth that is there to cover your petite body and the way you present yourself makes you a complete different human being? Why do we always have to compare and compete? Is that all that we see with our naked eyes? Shouldn't we delve deeper into something less materialistic? Shouldn't we see and appreciate the things around us rather than just fulfilling our own ego?

Out of the blue, I decided to be rather different than how I really was. I dress up myself simply, casually but still presentable and I decided to view things differently. I listened to my friends' conversation. They were talking about A decided not to let go of B because he is quite successful now. I was thinking, is it up to us to decide whether we are able to preserve a relationship? To me, love is simply unpredictable. You can't decide how and when you are going to begin a relationship, the challenges you are going to go through and how a relationship might end. It's out of reach...not the type of things that we can control.

Afterthat, a friend blurted out about C's ex. I thought C has finally moved on till I see the changes in her mood. They said it's hard for her to forget because they have been together for so long. But how could we measure feelings with time? Are feelings plainly addiction? The more time you spend together, the more addicted you can be? Is it? I don't think so.

Ah, life!!!